The Other Pokeauthors, Part 157

People continue to be very, very chill. Pyle is back, which might be filtering out the more volatile elements.

re: Your review to Competitive Repercussion
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/13643545/
ShiroTHR
Thank for the review! I will say that someone was going to help me edit it but i had already posted it. I agree with what you said about using said, me mostly being taught about said sometimes clashes with how my school self was taught what said should used for. I thank you for the kind words and I will try and change up a few things to make it more interesting.

re: Your review to Dappled Grove
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/13647121/
missuskWoah, fast review, thanks for such a detailed response!! good catch on the typos & trigger warning!


re: Your review to Something New
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/13648402/
Alright, thank you kindly. Heard a lot of bad crap about you but seems like you’re just trying to help. I will work on my sentence structure, and try to find a beta reader. If you have any other ways I can improve my writing please do tell.
As for the first chapter I wanted to setup the world a little, for instance, the clone obviously let the readers know that their are clones and they are present in a lot of places, it also let me reveal that a pokemon that’s generally only in one region is in another. I was also able to show the Wayfinder Corporation was responsible for zoroark attack and that they are testing something while capturing other trainer’s pokemon that seem to be strong. Oh and thank you for reading my story and I hope to see more constructive feedback in the future.
Sorry for the PM spam but I would also like to just make it clear that the summary is just a placeholder and i didn’t have enough space to say so. As you seem to be someone who is well informed I would like to shot a couple ideas about the plot and just get a little help from you as I am, very obviously, very new to writing. Outside of jotting down quick notes or ideas for my D&D sessions
Unfortunately I’m too busy to do beta reading at the moment. You could try hitting up some of the people over here: https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/216173/173910482/1/Review-Beta-Exchange

[I was also able to show the Wayfinder Corporation was responsible for zoroark attack and that they are testing something while capturing other trainer’s pokemon that seem to be strong.]

I’d say my problem with this is that we currently lack the context for why these people and their experiment are important, or even who they are. A spooky evil corporation doing spooky evil corporation things could be the opening to a lot of different stories.

This might work out once you start posting more and the reader has more to read immediately, of course. But as a standalone it’s a bit confusing at the moment.

3 Comments

  1. Nerem says:
    Are comments working? They seem to be broken.
    1. Broken how? They’re displaying fine for me.

      1. Nerem says:
        That one showed up, but a couple I left elsewhere didn’t, or at least didn’t show up on the side-bar. Wonder what’s going on.

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