Varied responses today.
4h ago
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12063669/
Wow. You just utterly blew me out of the water over this… I see why you entered the usename “St. Elmo’s FIRE”.
I’ll get around to fixing the problems ASAP. With the infodump, do you think it would be better if I were to switch the chapter around so that the rendezvous scene comes first, followed by the info?
As for capitalizing the names of Pokemon, I intend to keep it the way it always has been. I’m deviating from a lot of original concepts, but there is one I most likely won’t change.
And this is only the prologue. I have already published more chapters that get more in-depth on the subject of Pokemon. It actually has been suggested to me that I could convert the entire story to leave out Pokemon entirely, though doing so would mean I’d have to revise many key plot-points.
1h ago
[With the infodump, do you think it would be better if I were to switch the chapter around so that the rendezvous scene comes first, followed by the info?]
Yes, but I think it would be best if you could cut the info entirely and let it come up in the story itself — by the characters discussing it, for instance. You can even integrate it into the narration without changing much, like “Viewpoint Character examined Empire Thing. As everyone knew, the Emperor…” etc. etc.
[As for capitalizing the names of Pokemon, I intend to keep it the way it always has been. I’m deviating from a lot of original concepts, but there is one I most likely won’t change.]
Why?
In that case, I’ll see if I can integrate most of what was said in the infodump in Elder Noctowl’s storytelling in Chapter 2.Really, it’s just out of force of habit. In the future, I may start leaving out capitalization when referring to wild, non-sentient Pokemon.
secs ago
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12064900/
Hmm, makes sense, and sorry if it’s a problem.
12m ago
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12062371/
I appreciate the criticism, I aim to do better, I have just been so preoccupied with the fact school’s starting in just a couple weeks here in Hawaii, so I’ve been unable to pay much attention to my writing style, but I plan to fix it soon, thank you for pointing out my mistakes.
9h agoPurple Flarion
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12064444/
I will if you want to talk and help me out please do
https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/42724996/1/Beta-SignupMe no understand I just posted a new one please readAlso I can’t I have not been here for one month7h agoIf you are being genuine: ask one of the people in that thread to look over your story for you. They’ll help you write better. While you’re at it, you should probably get a literacy tutor in real life.
If you’re trolling: Again, try harder. Incoherency is a boring schtick.
So you don’t Like my writing :-(Ps I’m 13Also why as a threadI meant what isStory was deleted, so they are probably genuinely illiterate, which just makes me sad. They’re not even going to be able to graduate middle school like this. What is wrong with our education system?
6h ago
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12065612/
I have to say, this is one of the longest and most detailed reviews I’ve ever gotten. However while most of the issues you raised are perfectly valid, I will politely disagree with you on your first point. The part about capitalizing Pokemon names. I’ve heard many, many different arguments on the subject and I believe that, so far as grammar goes, this particular issue is largely a matter of opinion. Just to clarify, when I first started writing I had the exact same opinion as you on the subject of Pokemon names. Even now I’m inclined to agree with you. However my mind has been changed so many times at this point that, to put it bluntly, I’m just not willing to change it again.
As for the rest of your review, I’ll do my best to fix the issues you raised (especially the stuff with semicolons. I’m horrible with those…) and I’m glad you enjoyed the first chapter. The second one will be out very soon, if all goes well. Just so you know, humans and their relationship to pokemon will have at least some role to play in this story if not a major one. In all honesty, although it wasn’t our original intention, this story was heavily inspired by the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon games. If you’re not familiar with those, they too take place in a world where pokemon have taken the place of humans.
On a side note, pertaining to your last point on formatting dialogue, you didn’t actually correct the problem you pointed out. I agree with what you said about speech verbs, but how do you apply that with question marks?
4h agoThe Legendary Falcon Fall
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12065945/
Okay. Got it. Part of it is a glitch. ^_^
7h agoCyan Azure
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12065928/
Thank you for taking your time to review my story! (Well sort of reviewing the first chapter as of now.)
In most of the Pokemon fanfictions I have read, Pokemon and Pokemon names (Piplup, Arceus, etc.) have been capitalized. I have thought that the Pokemon’s name is technically their real name, which would make it a proper noun since the trainer has chosen not to nickname it. And in the games, the first letter of each Pokemon’s name is capitalized as well, so I just figured that I should do the same.
I do have a more unique plot coming up, and I will not simply be rehashing the already known events. As for the dull details part, I just figured I would have to do a slight introduction before starting off right into the rising action or climax of the story.
Once again, thank you for taking time to review this. I will be sure to probably come up with a better story and plot in the future, as this is my first work of Pokemon fanfiction.
43m agodarktrainersilver
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12058113/
Thank you for the advice! I appreciate it a lot!
26m ago
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12066664/
Hello! I’d like to say thank you for taking the time to review my fanfic. However, I’m a bit confused because I don’t believe I’ve mistaken dialogue… Please could you use an example from my story as an example? I would really appreciate it! Also, I don’t like to use direct character thoughts so I try to word it in a way in which the character is not shown to directly think/internally say anything to themselves. Is my writing style confusing? I’m worried that people wont enjoy the story because of my style….
FradagipA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12066710/
1. “Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu” Yes it is, and Prof Oaks nidoran is called Nidoran.
2. I can lay out my chapters however I want thank you very much, I appreciate the advice but would it kill you please review the actual story and not all the tiny grammar issues that you can find. Thanks.
secs ago[would it kill you please review the actual story and not all the tiny grammar issues that you can find]
“So I know this house I built is falling apart because I built it on a swamp, but would it kill you to appreciate the architecture?”
Grammar is not optional. No matter how good your actual story is, nobody is going to care if they can’t read it. I’ll review plots when I can understand what’s going on.
Toddem MachScrew you!
4h agoComicalManiak
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12067995/
Thank you for the detailed review. I actually didn’t know some of this, such as how i should not capitalize the pokemon’s names.
I’ll definitely keep working to improve myself.
4h agoOXYD
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12067911/
Yeah, I think it was a problem with my auto correction on Word. It’s been known to do that sometimes, but I will consider what you said and try to make corrections.