The Other Pokeauthors, Part 46

“Moon is a better name than Farla, who you seem to have a colossal boner for.” I don’t think I’ve had things escalate to sexual remarks that quickly before! Interesting that Farla gets attacked directly but the best they can muster is that I’m gross for being subordinate to a woman.

Surprisingly nice responses besides that, though. Even the revenge reviewers got weirdly positive.

Review Reply
March 19Picatsu
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12403861/

Hey, thanks for the advice! I can’t really object to any of it, but the capitalization mistake was due to ignorance (never wrote a Pokemon fanfic before, and that was my impression). I will certainly use this new knowledge to better my story.

Your review of legend of Ken
March 19D the Stampede
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12411112/

Thanks for the review. On your first point, thank you for bringing it up, I thought I had already put it under the Pokemon anime tag not to mention character tags of Mankey, Eevee and an OC. Also, thanks for the nice, constructive review. I’ll make sure to work on the points you brought up.

re: Your review to Adventures of Chance
March 19Athios
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12410371/

I appreciate the review!I haven’t done much writing in the past couple years so I am rather rusty. I will go through the stuff I have save but not posted yet and check to make sure it is more proper.

The pokemon name thing is something that has always bothered me so I try to stick with it and I hope I don’t slip in the future. The only time you will see anything like Snivy capitalized it will be due to it being referenced to a specific pokemon who has that as its name due to not being nicknamed. ^.^

To be honest, I am still getting used to the editing and formatting that I am able to do on here and to keep things consistent with other things I have seen. I will remember to split the author’s note apart better in the future!

As for travel time, I chose at the last second to go via ship rather than plane (as well as making it a semi short trip) due to wanting to introduce a character who will act as a bit of a mentor and a rival later in the series. I hope that taking a small amount of creative liberty doesn’t detract too much. I don’t plan to take too much throughout the series. Heck, I even looked up pictures of Juniper’s lab to check the door color! XD

I hope you enjoy reading in the future and I am truly grateful for the helpful review!! 3

re: Your review to Serena and Ash: Love is an Adventure Chapter 1
March 19MrKingBling
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12407829/

Thank you for letting me know. I will try and fix everything in the next chapter!

re: Your review to Betrayal Brings Rebirth
March 19NC Blueryu
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12408685/

hanks for picking that up, and letting me know. When I first started posting, I got a review saying I should put quotes around character speech. I tend to do that only because it fits me, and its easier for me to remember. If you could, please send me the steps I need to take to improve that. Now as for Ash being more compitent, his aura, and psychic abilities I should point out there fics where he does have these upgrades. I do not hate Ash at all, rather the way the writers and so on have him portrayed. I mean, how do you travel from region to region, and practically everything you’ve picked up? Second, correct me if I’m wrong, but if Ash is supposed to be a “Pokemon master”, then wouldn’t one think he’d have at least five to six Pokemon in every type? Again thanks for the help.

secs ago[If you could, please send me the steps I need to take to improve that.]

This thread explains everything more clearly: https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/21887406/1/Writing-Guide-Part-One-Grammar

[Now as for Ash being more compitent, his aura, and psychic abilities I should point out there fics where he does have these upgrades.]

And I’d tell them the same thing: Ash’s incompetence is a fundamental part of his character. Honestly, it’s kind of his sole character trait. If you change that, he’s no longer Ash, he’s an OC. Which is fine, but it’s weird and confusing to still call him Ash.

re: Your review to Challenges
March 19HeroOfMan
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12410169/

That’s the title of the school. Going by your common noun rules, that wouldn’t be improper capitalization.And if Ditto transformed into a Arceus, there’d be multiple Arceus. Hence “an”. I also am aware that Ditto can only transform into Pokemon they’ve seen, it was an exaggeration. Which is why I added “or something.”.

This is a prologue, so I’m aware it’s a bit insubstantial. I’ll try to fix that though. (By the way, I’ve read the page you linked me to already.)

secs ago[That’s the title of the school.]

It’s seriously named “Trainer’s School”? That’s a ridiculous name. We don’t have singular schools literally named “Athlete’s School” or “Businessman’s University”. Unless I guess this is the first school in the world to claim that title? That it is THE definitive School of the Trainer?

[And if Ditto transformed into a Arceus, there’d be multiple Arceus.]

…No? The ditto wouldn’t become another Arceus, it’d still be a ditto. I sort of see what you’re saying but I don’t think it works that way.

10h agoWell it wasn’t meant to be serious (since it is a humor fanfiction too), and I realize schools aren’t named things like that.

And yeah, I realize that I was wrong on that. It made sense, in a way, at least in my head.

 
re: Your review to Pokemon Shining Star
March 19owl productions
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12410277/

I’m sorry for my mistakes, and I appreciate you for taking the time to help me. As English is not my first language, I want to take all the tips people send me and use them, but so far I’ve been getting mixed signals, from the online community, my English teacher and other sources. I shall see what I can change, and I thank you for taking the time to message me

Showed them the grammar thread.

St Elmo’s Fire,

A new review has been posted to your story.

Story: Blood is Thicker than Water
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: GoldenFalls ( https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2576065/ )
Reply URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/pm2/post.php?rwid=248335468
——————-

I really loved this! It made me cry when Hau was finally saying his insecurities out loud. I did notice that in the paragraph talking about his future with Dartrix preening in the garden, you left out the second “r” both times you spelled the name. Besides that minor typo, the construction is really good and thanks for this new headcanon! :3

——————-

I’m just going to be smug about how the revenge reviewers didn’t catch this. Put some effort into trolling, people!

re: Your review to Xeno and DarkSide: ANK Tower
March 19jcroth
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12409655/

Chapter 1 was made a while ago, and I admit it wasn’t the finest work. I definitely improved in later chapters.

St Elmo’s Fire,

A new review has been posted to your story.

Story: Blood is Thicker than Water
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: Guest
——————-

:Hey! Your the one who commented on Pokemon Thief Jake.

I read your Review
You copied Farla…

——————-

St Elmo’s Fire,

A new review has been posted to your story.

Story: Blood is Thicker than Water
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: Guest
——————-

:Okay, guys. Stop posting that the dude is an idiot for flaming your stories. I agree that every tiny grammar problem shouldn’t be called out on, but you should focus more on the fact that this is an interesting story, written by someone who takes the time to post constructive criticism, and not that he should stop reviewing you. It’s happened to me too, but the criticism may help you. St Elmo’s Fire, you’ve ‘reviewed’ me too, and I think you should be less harsh, but at the same time I appreciate the effort on the review.

——————-

St Elmo’s Fire,

A new review has been posted to your story.

Story: Pearl
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: Guest
——————-

:If this is so terrible, why didn’t you delete it? Or is that too complicated for you to handle? Also, ‘pokemon trainer’ is stupid, but you would know everything about that. It’s Pokemon Trainer, just like it’s Gyarados, not gyarados. Before you start whining about how I’m such a horrible person, how about you go online and see that it’s actually canon that the Pokèmon names are capitalized, as well as ‘professor’ ‘starly’, ‘pokemon’, etc, instead of flaming beginner writers for tiny mistakes. If you’re going to criticize other people for their grammar, make sure yours is actually correct first, hypocrite.

——————-

St Elmo’s Fire,

A new review has been posted to your story.

Story: Blood is Thicker than Water
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: Guest
——————-

:It’s a shame that such an interesting idea such as this is ruined by someone who can’t even capitalize ‘litten, rowlet, and popplio’. This would have been an excellent story had it not been marred by this hypocritical St. Elmo’s Fire person. Stop trying to be a professional writer.

——————-

re: Your review to Omerta
March 20PikaPalAllDaway
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12411335/

Hey! Thanks so much for pointing out my mistakes! I just wanted to know, are you interested in becoming my editor? Sometimes, I overlook a whole bunch of errors in the rush to get chapters done or get really tired of reading the chapters over and over again. I thought a fresh pair of eyes can catch all my mistakes…PM me back if you’re interested. I understand if you can’t do it though, so it’s completely up to you. Thanks anyway.

oI don’t do beta reading, but these people do: https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/42724996/1/Beta-Signup
Thanks for the review
March 20Djcard
Hey, I just wanted to thank you for reviewing my story. I appreciated receiving advice! You did bring up some genuine concerns about the region I created though and I wanted to offer the chance to answer those concerns should you care to hear my logic. I’ve fleshed out the region on and off over a course of 2 years and could detail it down to a map I created and what each particular city contributes to the overall economy.
Thank u for reveiwing
March 21Ceburimon
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12399774/

Yeah sorry about all of the grammar errors
And about the sexual info, I had a brain fart

This was the author who gave his character’s cup size in narration.

re: Your review to Weed
March 22Super Salty Edgelord
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12405462/

After careful consideration, I have just one thing to say about that.Eat a pile of shit and bury yourself back deep into Farla’s rancid cunt. :)

St Elmo’s Fire,

A new review has been posted to your story.

Story: Blood is Thicker than Water
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: Super Salty Edgelord ( https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6320817/ )
Reply URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/pm2/post.php?rwid=248436038
——————-

Moon is a better name than Farla, who you seem to have a colossal b*** for.

——————-

FFN censorship continues to be weirdly thorough.

Hello
March 23brad goss
Thank you for commenting on my story memories of no one I have fixed all spelling so I hopes its a better read for you and if there’s anymore mistakes please let me know so I can correct them

Thanks.
B. G.

secs agoHonestly, the spelling was kind of the least of your problems. You need to read up on how to use commas. A beta reader may be able to help you with this.

St Elmo’s Fire,

A new review has been posted to your story.

Story: Blood is Thicker than Water
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: Guest
——————-

:The player character’s names are Elio and Selene, just FYI. Oh, by the way everyone, here’s Farla’s email (and presumably Elmo’s as well). Dumb b*** keeps it on her Ao3 profile. Wasn’t hard to find. Go nuts. Midnightdragoness

Just remove the spaces and replace the   their actual symbols, and you’ll have a direct link to the little w*** herself. Have fun, everybody!

——————-

St Elmo’s Fire,

A new review has been posted to your story.

Story: Blood is Thicker than Water
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: Guest
——————-

:Well, that didn’t work. Let’s try that again. Midnightdragoness

At

Juno

Dot

Com
Just remove the spaces and replace the appropriate words with the appropriate symbols.

——————-

Confirmation that most of these guest reviews are from the same person, then.

St Elmo’s Fire,

A new review has been posted to your story.

Story: Blood is Thicker than Water
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: Ya Boi Guzma (Guest)
——————-

Ya Boi Guzma:The hated boss that beats you down is gonna offer you some advice, home slice. Be grateful.

Farla is a s*** writer and she knows it. Every story I’ve read of hers was fuckin BORING. She got no business criticizing nobody, least of all Team Skull, when she doesn’t even possess the most basic need: having a fuckin story to tell in the first place! If the story is meat, then grammar and spelling are the ziplock bag that holds it. Important, yes, but not the core need. Farla’s works are a meatless bag. No one wants to eat an empty plastic bag, and no one wants to read a boring a** fanfic.

Do not aspire to Farla,, because y’all fuckin stupid if you do. Do the right thing. Go be a brony on 4chan instead. It’s the next logical step forward in your journey.

——————-

I’m honestly not sure what this one means. Is it saying that being a brony on 4chan is just as stupid as being a Farla fan, or is that supposed to be good? Does Farla have a 4chan following? And why are they roleplaying as Guzma to do it? So many questions.

re: Your review to PRAY
March 25innocynce
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12397913/

What do you mean? Aren’t they story chapters? If not, how do I make them story chapters then?

secs agoWhat I mean by “story chapter” is a chapter that actually contains part of the story, like your current second chapter. Your first chapter does not fit this description, and the information it contains should be placed elsewhere.
19m agoWhere? Is there something for a actual Prologue to be on this site? I can’t smoothly
give the entire reworking of the Pokemon series IN the story: It’ll end up being confusing.
The information is something that would have to be known to the reader, while they’re
reading, it’s something they need to know so they wouldn’t question the events
and be able to enjoy the story instead of being agitated that everyone’s talking about
something unexplained or even mentioned.

secs ago[I can’t smoothly give the entire reworking of the Pokemon series IN the story]

I assure you, you can. If you can’t, you need to restructure your story so that you can. You can look to a lot of fantasy and sci-fi novels for examples of how this is done.

15m agoAlright, I’ll try it: But if it destroys whatever immersion I somehow established, or deviates too far, making the story a exposition thing… I’ll have to keep the prologue as is. Hopefully reading other material, like you said, will help me reconstruct the way I explain everything, and I can clean up the 1st chapter/prologue.
secs agoAt the very least, you should definitely move your current first chapter if you don’t want your story to get deleted. It can work either as an author’s note on your first chapter, or as a part of your profile, with a note in the story saying “check my profile for information if you’re confused about anything”.


re: Your review to Age of Man
March 26InkPress
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12409069/

The man bleeding thing comes off the building bleeding thing. Looking it over I’m thinking you’re right that the imagery isn’t great either way.Star is better, I’ll retool the prose eventually. But why would you call a star superficially bright?

‘I reply vibrating the air…’ was actually supposed to mean ‘I vibrate the air to reply’. I can see that sticking ‘I reply’ directly after speech quotes is confusing, now that you’ve pointed it out.

Thanks for the review. You seem to be proofreading more than reading, although I can’t blame you given the text is rough. I would’ve gotten more value out of what you thought of the scene elements, however – I’m trying to get away from the focus I put on prose and move on to story composition. I can always go back and gloss later, but I think it’s useful to have feedback in the story-building stage.

secs agoWell, there isn’t much of a story yet. This is just a single scene, and an in media res one at that. I don’t know why Mewtwo is doing this, what is larger plan is, or who the other characters are. It might be a good idea to make larger first chapters if you want feedback on the story this early.


re: Your review to Aloha Amourshipping
March 29snivygirl9
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12398087/

hello,about the ´ in my story. in my country we use this for if someone says something.

secs agoOkay, but in English dialogue is written like I said. If you’re going to write in a different language, you need to follow its rules.

7 Comments

  1. CrazyEd says:
    I think the reason that Farla gets attacked directly is because she happens to be a real person and you’re just some kind of semi-autonomous drone.

    Does Farla have a 4chan following?

    /vp/ has too much porn for me to want to check, but I can’t imagine 4chan mixing very much with FFN’s pokemon community.

    And why are they roleplaying as Guzma to do it?

    This wouldn’t even be the weirdest thing I’ve seen.

    0
  2. Raven says:
    In regards to that last review, the one talking about using single quotes vs double quotes for spoken dialogue, I’m pretty sure they use single quotes in England.  Therefore, they’d still technically be correct by English grammar standards, just British English instead of American English.

    0
    1. Profile gravatar of Mini-Farla Mini-Farla says:

      They were using script format. Also they were using `, not ‘, for some reason.

      0
  3. Hinebras says:
    “Moon is a better name than Farla, who you seem to have a colossal boner for.”
    Who’s ready for a very bad written Farlancest fanfiction?

    0
    1. CrazyEd says:
      1. Wouldn’t that just be masturbation? Ohohohoho.
      2. No, of course not, that’s disgusting. Get cracking.

      I couldn’t pick between one joke so you get both. Pick one (1) and only one (1).

      1+
    2. Profile gravatar of Mini-Farla Mini-Farla says:

      That would require them to actually figure out my relation to her. For once, I am glad they appear incapable of this simple deduction.

      1+
      1. CrazyEd says:
        Now now, they wouldn’t have to know they’re writing incest fiction to write incest fiction about you and Farla.

        Just to remind everyone, I did not start this chain of thought. This is 100% not my fault. I didn’t do it.

        0

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