“They say that he created the universe and was born from nothing. I know this is basically a rip-off of the Christian God, so why wouldn’t it be able to, say, reincarnate a human.” For God’s sake does no one teach mythology anymore.
Otherwise, people were very polite.
the bigshot…Holy mother of God bro, that’s was quite a review. Hurt my feeling a little(JK).
First off I’d like to say, thank you for pointing out any errors I have made in this story since it can help me out later on.
Second, I’d like to address the capitalization. Capitalizing certain things like Pokémon names in general just feels comfortable for me, its what I’ve always done. Everything you’ve said about the sentence flow, that is also a bad habit. I was never all that great with writing in school and I tend to mess up a few things in my stories like typos and botched sentence flows, I’m only human.
About the Arceus thing, the Pokédex has said that it was born from nothing and possibly created the universe so he would technically be a god of the universe. I know that they say Mew is the ancestor of all Pokémon, so its the one that created the creatures, so for the sake of the story, I’m saying that Arceus created humans. There is no proof that that’s false or true so I’m going with that.
If I’ve failed to address anything, please let me know, otherwise I hope you have a pleasant day or night
[About the Arceus thing, the Pokédex has said that it was born from nothing and possibly created the universe so he would technically be a god of the universe.]
*A* god, yes, but how does Drake *know* that? The Sinnoh libraries are the best source of mythological information in the entire franchise, and they have nothing on Arceus. Nobody ever talks about or seems to care about Arceus outside of a single spinoff game, so it doesn’t make sense for it to have widespread worship. Again, would you recognize Brahma on sight? Even if Drake is Sinnohan, Arceus is obscure and ancient even there. Gaia and Uranus were really important creator gods back in Greek times, but would you be particularly reverent if they appeared before you in a near-death vision? Would you, again, even recognize them?
Also Arceus is, canonically, sealed in a pocket dimension with no influence on current events. Why did it intervene to save Drake’s life but not when the universe was being destroyed literally right under its nose?
To say nothing of how you’re just slapping on Judeo-Christian traits at random — just because Arceus created the universe doesn’t mean it created humanity, even if it created humanity that doesn’t mean it cares about them or can read their minds or has the power to reincarnate them. To shoehorn Arceus into the familiar role of the Judeo-Christian God is extremely lazy. The franchise is positively bloated with gods and myths at this point. Use what’s actually given to you and show a little creativity. Even if you absolutely do need divine intervention to make the plot work, are there really no other legendaries that spring to mind? Not, oh, Xerneas, the god of life? Or given that this is a death and rebirth thing, how about Yveltal, the god of death and rebirth? Ho-oh, who is even more committed to the rebirth part? What about the gods of truth and ideals, surely they have strong opinions on justice and fairness? You have so many other options, all of which would make more sense than the guy who created the universe in some vague and undefined way before running off.
Yeah, I get what your saying and I respect your opinion, but I’m not the only one to do this. Dozens of stories have done the same thing that I’m doing now, and just because they don’t really mention him much in the games or anime doesn’t mean he isn’t talked about at all. There was a movie about him at some point(I know certain scenes aren’t exactly arguing in my favor) but he isn’t some vague entity that has no control over the universe. They say that he created the universe and was born from nothing. I know this is basically a rip-off of the Christian God, so why wouldn’t it be able to, say, reincarnate a human. It is common knowledge that Arceus resides in the Hall of Origins,whatever your interpretation of that place may be. This is accessible in one of the games, meaning that he does not live in a pocket dimension, simply in a place that is nearly impossible to reach.I’m just going off what I know here, and I don’t really know a whole lot since I’m not really a huge fan of Pokémon, I’m just a guy who enjoys the concept and to write about it. Please don’t fault me on this
Perhaps it might be wiser to take this discussion to https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/162324520/1/Pokeworld-ReligionI would, but I don’t really like to get in arguments over religion of any kind cause sooner or later it gets into real religion. Arguments like that can go on for hours and I don’t really have that kind of patience or interest. I’m keeping it as it is because its how I want it to be, its my universe(Sorry if I sound like a jackass while writing this).Fair enough, but please do try to be a bit less ethnocentric. Your writing will be stronger if you step outside your comfort zone from time to time.“but I’m not the only one to do this” This is why I have to destroy them all. Also always nice to get confirmation that this absolutely is about ethnocentrism. Even when I’m screaming about all the other creator gods out there they still think Japanese writers could only possibly be copying Yahweh!
NoivernzAndZangeeseA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12549186/
Thank you for being completely honest with me. I’d rather people not sugar coat anything and actually give me criticism. I will go through and try to correct any errors I made (including those in my summary) and try to make some things more clear (Such as Ginger’s name situation) Again, thank you for the criticism and feel free to criticize about anything you feel the need to.
StevenMastin01A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12549442/
Yeah, this is my first time using this website so I still have a lot to learn. I’ll get there.
Thanks for the dialogue rules, I guess it just proves the school curriculum has changed a lot now. I haven’t learnt stuff like that since I was nine, and it has failed to completely stick in my head over the last seven years.
Thanks for your help.
Using your feedback I will correct the story, upload in the specific chapter order and then delete this story and re-upload the grammatically correct version.
Krulla ChiefYo, I’m the author of it and I have to thank you for all that criticism you posted. Definitely gonna take it into account as I re-work it. Also, when I put “serious story” in the AN, meant more as in a story I will seriously try to complete than anything else. Anyway, thanks for the tips.
Also, do you think it would be a good idea to unpublish my story while I re-work it?No. It’ll confuse people, and you might get more feedback while you’re reworking.ah, thanks
KasiroseA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12550379/
Thanks for your advice! I’ll fix the mistakes when I find time to, but again, thanks so much for your help! :)
Glaceon of winterA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12549085/
The feedback will help, but I am sorry to also inform you that I write the way I want. I just not gonna bend my way of writing just to fix some errors. I will get better over time but that does not mean I take won’t take your advice to heart. Have a nice day!
RavenSpellsoerA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12534913/
Thank you for letting me know I actually did know that before I will add that to my stories and change it up when I catch it
crazybrit1987A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12548022/
huh I thought I fixed them all guess I missed some or it didn’t save thanks for pointing it out
There were several more responses, but they are all so extensive I’m saving them for their own posts. Stay tuned!
I await their spotlights with bated breath.
Goddamn! I want to do a troll fic just to subvert that Arceus’ cliche. Something along the lines of:
“Hi, Prota, I’m Arceus, the god of gods.”
“Who?”
“Arceus. I made the very fabric of space and time.”
“Sorry, I have no idea.”
“What?! But I am the creator of this planet and everything! I am an ancient deity from a niche cult that existed once thousands of years ago in Sinnoh.”
“Well, I am from Unova. And my grampa told me that Thundurus, Landorus and Tornadus made the region. If somebody have the power to make the planet Earth, they are. So, I am not buying it. See ya!”
DO IT. You’ll be doing the Lord’s work.
DO IT. You’ll be doing the Dark Lord’s work.
– Farla, and definitely not some kind of fanfiction demon.
“Hi, Prota, I’m Arceus, the god of gods.”
“Who?”
“You wouldn’t have heard of me. I’m very obscure.”
‘Above’ should be capitalized in the title, as it’s a noun and the final word ;)
Nooo don’t reveal it’s trollfic, that ruins the surprise!