The Other Pokeauthors, Part 66

“As for the debate on whether or not Ash is an OC or Ash Ketchum himself, well, we could debate for days.”

Also, an English major decides to devalue their degree.

re: Your review to On Loves Wings (Working Tiitle) – Falkner & OC: Rin
Aug 13WindStar27
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12609856/

Hello!

To address some of your comments:

I’m dyslexic, I proofread and I spell check (and use a software called Ginger- though I can’t remember if I used Ginger on this).
I have tried getting beta-reader, I have asked about 20 people listed on the ACTIVE beta-reader list. Not a one ever answered me. So, I gave up.

As for centering, I only center the authors notes and the disclaimers when I post them. The story is not centered.
Link breaks? Do you mean starting a new line, after a period? Or are you referring to the double rows that occurs when I hit enter?
If it’s about the double rows – all I do, is just hit “enter” to go to the next line, I’m not going to sit here and hold down the shift key and hit enter when I want to go to a new line.
I can’t help that there’s such a large margin between lines when I want to go to a new one. That’s the system on fanfic net doing that. If you’re talking about what I am doing throughout this message after periods.
Like this.

Then, I’m sorry, I can’t help you there.
I find long paragraphs, with no alternating lengths to the rows of sentences annoying and hard to read.
When there’s a large amount of text bunched together it makes it hard for me to read with my dyslexia.
It’s even harder for me to proof read that mess. And that’s what large square paragraphs look like, to me: A mess. This might seem a rude comment, and I don’t know if you know anyone with dyslexia, but, everyone with the learning disability experiences it differently. That’s how things look to ME.
Same with capitalizing. I do what looks best to my dyslexic mind.

I’m sorry if its annoying to read, I appreciate the attempt to help. And I understand that is what you seem to be trying to do. I think my fics are a hell of a lot better than some. I don’t know if your going to repost this or now, to that site you have listed on your profile. But, I’m writing to try to work my way out of PTSD (which was started when I was in elementary school.
Due to my dyslexia I was verbally and physically abused by teachers and students alike, because I learned at a different speed. I’m not saying this as a plea for sympathy.
I am saying this to explain why writing might help my PTSD) and I know I’m not stellar with punctuation, or spelling, but, I do my best with dyslexia, no help from beta-reader.

And but I don’t really understand when you say: “centering all of your text”. Since it’s not the story that is centered, just my notes before and after.
You could try ASKING why someone spaces things the way they do, or writes in a certain way.
As for the spaces in the synopsis (or lack thereof), I put them there. It removed them. I edited it 7 x’s and still they kept disappearing. I finally gave up. I am planning to try again, when I feel like fighting with the system. You can believe me or deem me lazy. But I am trying my best when I can’t get help, or find descent free grammar and spelling software’s.

I wasn’t entirely sure what to say to this. It’s a reasonable excuse, but it’s still incredibly hard for other people to read that way.

Thank you!
Aug 13Lamda9
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12608240/

I appreciate you taking time out of your day to send me all of this. I’ll now be taking a long look at what I have so far before I start on chapter three. I hope I can look forward to more honest input like this as I progress.

In regards to the capitalization, I’ll be making changes here gong forward. I was looking at them as class titles, instead of nouns, but your thread is convincing. The one bit I feel odd about is the names of the pokemon, as I usually tend to highlight a pokemon by its name and not its species, being that a lack of a nickname doesn’t mean a lack of a name. I’ll tamper with it.

The technical and typo mistakes will be fixed, thanks muchly for spotting them.

The brink of existence was what I meant, as in a world only just held together by the laws that make our world existent, with assumed death waiting any further beyond it. I’ll tweak it, though.

Cyrus’ motivation was to be bestowed WITH the power to create a world in his image. I’ve been trying to convey that to him, this would essentially be a monkey’s paw: being placed outside the bounds of mortality that he’d wanted to escape, all by his lonesome, but in a place made ugly by another creature’s angry spirit, and with his upset superiority complex still bothered by the knowledge that the player defeated him. In Platinum Cyrus seems pretty angry at the player’s final interference, and after two years of festering, that would probably escalate. This could just be me not portraying my thoughts well, though. I’ll keep your words in mind for the future.

I intentionally started off writing Dawn as a flatter character, to slowly flesh out to both Cyrus and the reader as time went on. I wanted my focus to initially be about setting their living arrangements, to then springboard off of. Burdening herself with the responsibility and wellbeing of others serves as a means to ignore her mounting internal problems and her own slowly worsening perception of the world, but Cyrus also raises other questions in her mind that I’ll keep vague for now.

Anyhoo, I hope that at least cleared some questions up. Again, thanks so much for the critique, hope to hear more of it in future chapters, if you’re so inclined. Cheers

re: Your review to A Pokemon Requiem
Aug 14Iggy the Strong and Free
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12608985/

Thanks for the review. Glad you focused on more specific things, we both know that’s my weak point. I usually just pump out content, worrying more about the content than the presentation. Always happy to be learning more.

You’re right pretty much everywhere. All I can say is that the chapter feels strange because the full “scene” of the shrine is about 6k words, and it chops up awkwardly. I totally agree with the Ralts scene, it killed me to write it but it needed to happen then and I really didn’t know how so I just did it. The two are supposed to make a point of befriending pokemon and not capturing them, but in chapter one it looks suuuper bad.

PS: The Ralts is a male and is eventually going to be a Gallade? Or were you talking about Ralts/Kirlia as the sexist example?

secs ago[PS: The Ralts is a male and is eventually going to be a Gallade? Or were you talking about Ralts/Kirlia as the sexist example?]

I was talking about “only boys get to be knights in shining armor”. There’s really no logical reason for gallades to be male-only.

14m agoAh, I see what you mean.

Hope you stick around for more chapters to come.

 
Reply to your review.
Aug 15Artful-Trickster
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12609942/

Hi, thanks for the advice, however for what happens in the story, plot-wise it follows events that canonically happen/appear in the games and manga, if anything anime is the least similarities my fanfic has. For this reason, I’m going to leave the tags as it is.

Question
Aug 15Marcello West
First off, thank you for reading my story. I appreciate the honest review. I did take your advice and fix some things such as my discription.

Secondly, a question regarding the capitalization of certain words. I’m a tad confused on where I went wrong, so I’m not really sure what to fix. Is the “professor” in Proffesor Oak not supposed to be capitalized?

Third. In regards to the little tidbit about Ash being an OC. Well there’s not much to say. I did say it’s an AU story, and regardless, I wanted to use Ash as a character. Yes, he’s practically an OC. However, I am still using the core details of his life, such as his family, friends, and his journey through the anime. I felt that since I’m following his path, and using Gary, Dealia, and Oak, I would just go ahead and use Ash, even though he’s very OC. If that’s annoying to you, well too bad.

secs ago“Ash Ketchum will take the world by storm as he rises up to become a true Pokémon Master.”
^ You went wrong right here — “pokemon master” shouldn’t be capitalized. https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/21887406/1/Writing-Guide-Part-One-Grammar has more information if you’re confused.

[Yes, he’s practically an OC. However, I am still using the core details of his life, such as his family, friends, and his journey through the anime. I felt that since I’m following his path, and using Gary, Dealia, and Oak, I would just go ahead and use Ash, even though he’s very OC.]

Context alone doesn’t make a character, though. This just means you’re writing an AU where someone other than Ash takes Ash’s role. That’s just as valid as the many, many stories that take Ash and put him in a completely different world, but it means the main character isn’t Ash.

2m agoWell thanks for the help with the punctuation, I suppose. As for the debate on whether or not Ash is an OC or Ash Ketchum himself, well, we could debate for days. You bring up valid points, but I’m probably not going to rewrite the story or heavily edit every chapter to change Ash’s name to something else. I’ll keep it in mind, however, if I ever write another story. Thanks again, and have a lovely day .
 
Er- what?
Aug 15FrostedDusk
On your first review.
Thank you for telling me that. Yeah, we don’t capilize animal or pokemon. I’ll fix that.
Also, why does it amuse you that I ask for personalities and leave it up to the submitter for a name? Some people don’t name their pokemon, and I was leaving it up to them. So glad I could put a smile on your face, though!
Also, thanks for telling me that submitting OCs for a story is wrong by submitting a character.
And I DID have story content. One hundred and twenty three words. If you’d only look, you’d find them in the top of the page. Thanks for reading my story!
I enjoyed your character. Maybe we could get in touch for more details on their south-facing friend?
On your second review.
Okay. You just sent me a review about the proper use of dialogue. I wish to say that yes, I do know how to write that. If you look at all of my other exchanges in the fic, you will find that I have used English grammar rules. If I made a mistake, please just point out where and I will fix it. There is no need to cut and paste an argument for one mistake.
Also, for the interactivity, I understand. But I do not really want to use a generator because that is boring and isn’t testing my creativity as a writer at all.
I’m sorry if I sound a bit mean, but really, if you don’t agree with some things in my story, then find another. It’s almost like there are thousands of other stories to read! So anyway, please just either tell me where I made a mistake, or tell me something you enjoyed or didn’t from my story.
Thanks for reviewing!
secs ago[“Hey, Dad! I’m just going to go over to Coal’s house!” She called out nervously.]
^ “She called out” shouldn’t be capitalized here. Perhaps it was the exclamation point throwing you off, but the format remains constant regardless of dialogue punctuation.

I don’t see why you’re affronted I gave you the most information I could. I don’t know how much you know, and this eliminates possible misunderstandings. It’s also useful to any other authors who choose to read the review.

[And I DID have story content. One hundred and twenty three words.]

Yes, I saw your vague blurb that was more summary than anything that told us what the story would be about. That’s not meaningful story content. You could have at least introduced your main character so we’d have some idea of who our character would be interacting with.

[But I do not really want to use a generator because that is boring and isn’t testing my creativity as a writer at all.]

But outsourcing your creativity to other people is? If you want to test your creativity, you should try to come up with encounters yourself and make even such minor events relevant to the greater story.

21m agoOkay. Thanks for pointing out that. I didn’t catch it, and I’ll go and fix that.
Well, I was more affronted on the fact that you just gave me the information instead of pointing out the stop. It felt like you were attacking my story with no just cause.
And the thing is, for the blurb, I feel that I’m trying to make other people’s characters are of the same importance as mine, and it kind of doesn’t help when I only talk about mine first. And I thought I gave plenty imof j formation with my fourteen little blurbs.
And really, SYOC stories are one of the greatest tests of creativity ever. Because you have to try and mix together a bunch of characters who all want to be the main character and make it work. I will be asking for a certain number of trainers, but this way, it changes my plans for whether they win or lose, and then I’ve got to work that into the story. So really, this is a wonderful test of creativity.
Re: Your Review
Aug 15Avalon Huntress
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12613690/

Greetings St Elmo’s Fire,

First of all let me thank you for your review! I do appreciate constructive criticism which you did. Now, keep an open mind and allow me to explain myself just like I kept an open mind with your review. I apologize if I seem aggressive, I’m not angry and I thank you, but I had to write this in a haste before I rushed to a conference so things might not come out the way I wish they did.

I went back and added my story to the “Anime” category. However, if you had let my story continue before commenting several chapters in you may have noticed that I do blend together different elements from the books/manga, games and anime together to create the Pokémon world that I’ve been envisioning for a decade. (I also would like to point out that I am totally familiar with the Pokémon games, anime, manga/books .etc. and I know pretty much like the back of my hand). But for now I’ve put my story under anime LIKE YOU ASKED. (As a side note, let a story’s plot actually develop BEYOND the prologue before you assume right away based on 2 thousand words that an author isn’t going to use elements from the Games, Manga AND Anime. Almost everybody has a reason for labelling their story the way they do, which you may not be aware of).

So my capital use of Pokémon is probably irritating you right now and allow me to reassure your delicate heart that I have read through the forums that you sent me. I, as a reader, published author and somebody with an English degree from an Ivy League university (feeling just a little bit attacked by this part of your review. I understand that it maybe wasn’t your intention and you were probably just giving me constructive criticism but I rest my case and I will defend myself slightly) have come to realize that English language is a flexible thing. There are definitely set rules and conventions that are more official than others and I will go back and review by work for a fourth time, however I will continue to capitalize Professor if I’m referring to Professor Oak just like we capitalize titles in the real world like Dr. Oak or in university you write papers to Professor Lee no professor Lee which would be considered disrespectful. Also, I’m pretty sure that I only used capital letters with Pikachu when referring to the individual whose name if that because if I said there’s a dozen pikachu running in the yard it’s different and I’m aware of that. However, understand that I write fanfiction in my free time, not as a career where I’m getting paid, so errors are allowed and the writing software I use automatically corrects pikachu to Pikachu. In fact, even my internet browser corrects it like that in both contexts. I’VE READ THE FORUM I KNOW THAT ARGUMENT WAS ALREADY USED. The difference is I’m not arguing that the rules your stating are wrong, I’m just saying that since the worldwide web is correcting it like that, I think you’ll be able to understand why not all the capitals and punctuation are completely correct and to your satisfaction. Also Pokémon and pokemon I agree with you, however I will try my best to correct but expect more pokemon with a capital P. If it bothers you that much you should probably get off fanfiction because I can point you to hundreds, if not thousands of authors who do the same thing and I don’t think writing reviews to those thousands of authors like you did for me would be a worthwhile use of your time. (I appreciate it and kept an open mind, I think you’ll find many others would feel attacked).

I’m a published author (with Macmillan and HarperCollins which really is an unimportant detail but just in case you were wondering) who will obviously not be revealing my actual name or email address so I’m used to receiving criticism. In my dialogue, I probably made a few mistakes due to carelessness since I write at 2 or 3 am in the morning, however editors of those elite publishing companies have trained my dialogue to be the way I write it so I know FOR SURE no matter what you argue that my dialogue format isn’t going to end the world and IS an acceptable form of writing. It does not warrant a removal from the fanfiction site since many published books are written that way. Rules are rules and while in math and science following rules are paramount (I have a double major in a science field along with English), in the English language there are conventions and each author has their preferences. I apologize if you think my format makes my story unreadable but I won’t change my entire writing style to cater to you and rules that the majority of the publishing world (and fanfiction mind you) doesn’t follow (understandable).

Emphasizing rules in writing takes away the joy from writing which I expect in official publishing but not on fanfiction (by the way this is my fourth fanfiction account. I’ve taken down my stories because of troll reviewers last time and a few who dared to copy and post my stories saw the light of justice). So no, although my account may make me look like it I’m far from being a fanfiction rookie. I understand that you’re probably definitely no rookie either. You, like me, have probably read thousands of stories in over a dozen forums and while you’re a stickler for your grammar rules, understand that many people like me are willing to focus on the intellectual property and not punctuation, capitalization conventions. You are technically right but I’ve learnt that not following grammar conventions doesn’t hinder a story and stop them from being a New York Times best seller. In fanfiction, not following proper conventions, as long as it doesn’t blatantly disrespect other fanfiction users and severely harm their experience on the sight, will not stop a story from being appreciated by others.

So conclusion? I respect you, I respect your opinion and I’ve taken your every word into consideration. Since you were willing to take time out of your precious to write me a review I wrote you a long winded reply that you may completely ignore which will be your decision or you may decide to attack me, which would be such a typical thing on fanfiction. However, I suggest that if you write reviews for people next time to not focus on trivial things like capitalizations which in the grand scheme of things, while you are correct, don’t matter as much as you may think they do (though I respect the fact that you seem to care for capitalization A LOT). However, next time you write a review to me or to anybody I suggest you work on the tone and diction in your review because if I were actually a rookie on fanfiction or not an experienced writer, your review may be seen as a troll or too aggressive. You may not care but you may hurt someone else (you may argue that if they can’t take it they shouldn’t write fanfiction but still, I beg you to consider my words for the sake of all the young writers who finally gathered the courage to write something on fanfiction).

One last thing, I’m not someone who only wants to read positive reviews. I love reading criticism and I often agree with the criticism (I agree with you and all the rules you told me are correct however as an established author I’ve just presented my reason for doing the things that I do and I also checked with some of this sites most popular pokemon stories to make sure that I’m not alone in my opinion just like you are not alone in yours). So if you argue that I’m an author who can’t take criticism you are, without a doubt, incorrect. I’d also like to point out I was aware of the rules you pointed out as a writer, AND I still took the time to reply like I (felt like?) you asked. (Yes I know that this review’s grammar was far from perfect just in case you fire back about this review)

“The golden rule is that there are no golden rules” – George Bernard Shaw (a famous playwright and critic)

I bid you good day. Have a great time on fanfiction and don’t forge

secs agoYou are being extremely defensive for someone who got such a neutral review. Don’t immediately assume the worst of people, please?

[I went back and added my story to the “Anime” category. However, if you had let my story continue before commenting several chapters in you may have noticed that I do blend together different elements from the books/manga, games and anime together to create the Pokémon world that I’ve been envisioning for a decade. (I also would like to point out that I am totally familiar with the Pokémon games, anime, manga/books .etc. and I know pretty much like the back of my hand). But for now I’ve put my story under anime LIKE YOU ASKED.]

I’m not obligated to read any further than I want to. If I notice something that seems wrong, I will say so. If my objection turns out to be wrong based on something later in the story, you’re free to discard it, but I have no way of knowing that in advance.

[Almost everybody has a reason for labelling their story the way they do, which you may not be aware of).]

Actually, most people I talk to don’t even know world tags exist.

[Also, I’m pretty sure that I only used capital letters with Pikachu when referring to the individual whose name]

“He learns the truth of his legendary legacy and the secrets of aura as he embarks on the ultimate path to becoming a Pokémon master.”
^ You capitalized “pokemon” here, even though it is used as a general term.

Re: dialogue: [“Such a pity, that we’ve one upped some of the world’s worst kind of criminals,” Her Zoroark said] — “her” shouldn’t be capitalized. You consistently make this error with every instance of spoken dialogue that I can see.

[It does not warrant a removal from the fanfiction site]

Where on Earth did you get this from? I never said your story deserves to be deleted.

[You are technically right but I’ve learnt that not following grammar conventions doesn’t hinder a story and stop them from being a New York Times best seller.]

Yes, and I’ve enjoyed many stories that do so, but it has to be for some purpose. If you’re using this defense, I expect you to be able to tell me what that purpose is. Color outside the lines, yes, but do it because you’re drawing a new picture, not because you’re scribble-checking to see if the ballpoint pen still has ink.

[you may argue that if they can’t take it they shouldn’t write fanfiction]

Yes, that is exactly what I will argue.

They sent this and then blocked me:

You have received a message from:

Avalon Huntress
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/9589613/

Reply link: https://www.fanfiction.net/pm2/post.php?rid=219346543#new
——————–

Before I begin, I’m not arguing anything anymore. I’m apologizing and justifying myself and the reason for the tone of my message not capitalization rules (for the most part. I did add in a reason for why I do things the way they do, in case you were wondering, but I agree I made a mistake with the Zoroark problem you pointed out.)

You’re correct, I did jump the gun and became extremely defensive but just as a side note, to other readers and an author, your review SEEMS far from neutral no matter what your intent was, the perception of others was different. I actually got several PM from readers because they saw your review and reassured me not to listen to you and “not listen to haters” one person said. I’M NOT SAYING YOU’RE A HATER AT ALL. I see your review as constructive criticism but like I said, your delivery of the review came across as aggressive to many people, not just to me.

Alright I apologize if I seemed too defensive. I would like to say that this reply you wrote back to me was much better than the review you first sent me BECAUSE you criticized but you did so less generally about my writing skills as a whole (I found referring me to forums quite offensive and sassy so that’s why I was quite defe…

This message has been truncated due to length. To view in full, please visit site.

??????

In the interim there was a flood of anon reviews saying the story was literally the best thing ever and I was a dumb dumb, but that seems to be what they’re referring to here so I don’t know what else could have happened.

The next morning I got this:

St Elmo’s Fire,

A new review has been posted to your story.

Story: Blood is Thicker than Water
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: Guest
——————-

:I changed my mind, you’re just an a*** -_-

——————-

Could it be related? Who knows! Nobody wants to attach their name to anything they say to me, so we shall never know for certain.

 

One Comment

  1. CrazyEd says:
    I wasn’t entirely sure what to say to this. It’s a reasonable excuse, but it’s still incredibly hard for other people to read that way.

    You could suggest he writes it his way, and proofreads it his way, and everything, but just before posting it he reformats it into regular ole paragraphs. That… might work? At that point, the specific words don’t really matter, he just needs to know where the breaks have to go, and those are easily marked beforehand. Maybe, I dunno, bold the first word of every sentence that should start a paragraph, and then when it comes time to post, remove line breaks until every paragraph starts with a bold word, unbold them, and post. Or maybe that language software he mentioned could help with paragraphs.

    And remind him that he has as long as he needs to write and proofread his work, and if it improves his work, he should take that time. Of course, if by “a mess” he means that it is literally incomprehensible no matter how long he looks at it, that’s a different story. I’m not dyslexic, but I do have a vision problem that can’t be corrected and have a massively hard time reading large blocks of text on a screen, and I will read and reread something as long as this post for two hours if that’s what I need to make sure it’s perfect, and that’s just for a comment on a blog. For a work of fiction, it could easily be much longer.

    It doesn’t matter what the story looks like when it’s being written so long as the final published form works. The way I actually write out my fiction is a mess that no one but me should never lay eyes on (if it got any worse it’d probably just be a bunch of script format dialogue with a note to fill out scenery later) and “publishing” for me is largely a matter of putting it in the form of something another person can enjoyably consume.

    The fic does have a note that it was updated today, so you may want to check it out and see what was changed. I didn’t read the fic when you reviewed, so I don’t know if anything’s different except the author’s note he added about his dyslexia.

    You are being extremely defensive for someone who got such a neutral review.

    A neutral review where he had to admit that you had a point, even! You gave him the worlds copypasta, capitalization copypasta, and dialogue copypasta. Jeez, that’s it? Of all the copypasta, where you do things like call fics incomprehensible and tell people to try harder, he got “this belongs in the anime world”?




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