“I know from reading a bit of the thread that you look down on this and believe that SYOCs should be handled in a way where the author specifically tells his/her readers what he/she wants but then what’s the point in accepting OCs in the first place?”
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12658888/
Wow, thanks for the advice, I’ll try to improve on it. What do you think of the story though?
secs agoI’m afraid I’m not familiar enough with the anime to comment on the story. Thus the world thing.
re: Your review to Ash Reborn (Light Side)
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12659045/
Thanks for letting me know. That was really helpful :D
Thank you for your comment.
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12660512/
I will try and change my writing to a better form.
re: Your review to Excel Academy (SYOC) Prologue
Sep 21Crimson Susano’o
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12659103/
Hi, I just wanted to say thank you for submitting a review as detailed as the one you did. I’m sure you know by now that finding someone to review like that is a dime a dozen though I don’t expect you to sit there and point out every mistake for every chapter so I appreciate it that much more that you did it for the first chapter. I get the feeling that you have a genuine love and passion for writing and offer a healthy serving of constructive criticism to stories and authors that you feel have potential but need a bit more work. That’s a wonderful gift to give others on here so thank you again. Now time to defend some points…
I agree with all of your points regarding the grammar and sentence structure as well as those about the aesthetics of the chapter (i.e. line breaks) though I feel like I should clarify some of the other points. For starters, the whole “Pokemon” vs “pokemon” debate has arguments for both sides with neither side letting up so I strongly suggest that although it’s good to offer your argument for it, try not to get frustrated when people choose not to take it. I’m not insinuating that you’d take my or anyone else’s reluctance to treat the names of Pokemon as common nouns like “dog” or “cat” to heart but I’m just offering a little advice myself. See the way I view Pokemon names, although they are pretty equivalent to the names of animals, the argument can be that because their species names are much simpler than our animals’ species names (i.e. “Canis lupus” being the scientific name for “wolf”), the name “Piplup” could just be treated as the species name rather than the common name since I do also refer to it as a penguin. To each his own, but I always feel the necessity to offer that argument when someone brings up this debate. I think something we can both agree on is the lack of logic behind not giving a Pokemon a nickname.
Secondly, I know that Del came off as one-dimensional but it was the first chapter so I haven’t had any time to develop his character (though I understand that it is not an excuse to not have made his character more dynamic and attention-grabbing since it’s been done before) but as you read, you’ll see that most his character traits will be highlighted by his interactions with others.
Lastly, I don’t like introducing the academy itself in prologues simply because it requires to already have several characters like a roommate, an advisor, etc. This was done to give as much freedom as possible to the readers who want to submit a character and I know from reading a bit of the thread that you look down on this and believe that SYOCs should be handled in a way where the author specifically tells his/her readers what he/she wants but then what’s the point in accepting OCs in the first place? You might argue that there isn’t but then you wouldn’t be reading them, right?
Anyways, just felt like I had to get a few of those things off my chest. It’s not an attack against your but rather an exchange of beliefs and ideals, which I feel is healthy for both reader and writer, one of the things I enjoy about this site.
secs ago[See the way I view Pokemon names, although they are pretty equivalent to the names of animals, the argument can be that because their species names are much simpler than our animals’ species names (i.e. “Canis lupus” being the scientific name for “wolf”), the name “Piplup” could just be treated as the species name rather than the common name since I do also refer to it as a penguin.]
Except as you just pointed out with “Canis lupus”, species names are not capitalized, only higher levels of classification. Nor does it make sense for everyone to be referring to animals by their scientific names in the first place; you call wolves “wolves”, not “Canis lupus”.
I’m much less frustrated by people disagreeing than by people refusing to follow my request to not waste my time with arguments that have already been made.
[This was done to give as much freedom as possible to the readers who want to submit a character and I know from reading a bit of the thread that you look down on this and believe that SYOCs should be handled in a way where the author specifically tells his/her readers what he/she wants but then what’s the point in accepting OCs in the first place?]
The point is that you’ll get better characters. There is still a lot of freedom within “I want characters of this age/power bracket” and “I want major/minor characters” etc., but it saves submitters from wasting time with characters that wouldn’t have worked in the first place. If you just want a totally unconstrained pool of inspiration, you shouldn’t be asking for detailed characters; they’re too limiting. Did you see my last post in the thread? A large repository of general character concepts like the Character Bio Thread is more suitable for that goal.
37m agoHowever you are ignoring that since it is a different universe, it doesn’t make sense for us to refer to animals by scientific names but it would if that was the norm in the Pokemon universe. It’s the same as walking into a different culture and finding new norms.
Did you just say that I’m wasting your time with that argument? Because if so, you should just leave the argument alone because you’re going to get people who defend the opposing view and you’ll have less frustration.
secs agoIt’s only wasting my time if people use arguments I’ve already addressed before. Thus why I direct people to the thread.
2m agoI’m going to need a bit more context here. Stop what?
27m agoStop with going around every author’s story/first Pokemon chapter and criticize how about every little detail, saying that someone is Ash’s skin beacause of the stupidity (Which i hate how people keeps saying over and over) Like how you did with Hero of Neutrality. Everyone is getting annoyed at this. So please I’m begging you. Stop! All you had to say was fix the spacing. Not give a full paragraph explaining it all.
secs agoObjections to my reviewing style go in this thread: https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/24493256/1/NaRe-Review-FAQ
re: Your review to Fractured
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12662722/
Yeah, a lot of these I’m quite aware of. Cliche is a word that I tried to avoid in the story but with the overbearing parents with the evil setting, honestly I was going towards move what a human might do rather then cliche. Unironically however, people might just consider it cliche and move on with in my opinion is realistic.
re: Your review to Fractured
40m agoA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12662722/
Also, it just sent at least 1/10 of my private message without me changing my spelling. Rip.
re: Your review to Fractured
26m agoA response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12662722/
To include literally the last 9/10 part of that sentence. here it is
I use an auto correcter that for some reason likes to place something like fifth-teen-year-old boy where it should be fifteen year old boy (it just did it again).
Most of this was actually a cringe read for me because for some reason when I update my Chapter in the document editor they seem not to update on the story itself. Do I need to delete the entire chapter before I can actually see any change?
A Beta reader, to be honest, would be a good idea. I can’t honestly stand rereading a chapter four times only to miss something I should have caught the first time around. I looked into the link and I think I could find someone. Thanks for that.
Formatting dialogue, to be honest, was never my strong suit. I thought it was a very simple process but behold, turns out it was actually much more tasking than I thought. Very easy to slip up if you’re not careful. I’ll be more aware of that in the future.
Shuddering Mentally is basically impossible.
When I said the line of cut, I’m used to having to say that in a post tense as I used to lead RP sessions (I know sue me) so I had to write things that like to make it make sense. Hard to break old habits I suppose.
Comas are a rookie mistake. Kind of hard to fix em when the entire chapter doesn’t update; _ ;
Personal confliction was also a weak point. I had a rework in the first chapter ready to go with it being more towards the morally of Pokemon in general as Sylvester would view them like a pet for example. You wouldn’t just let someone sell your dog you grew up with for seven years.
Overbearing knowledge is overbearing.
You know about how when I said those comas, well I mean to say-(This is what we call a WTF?)
Hidden Abilities? That’s something I think I said I might do? I don’t remember but that’s true it might make a more interesting story. Thanks for that idea (your full of great information, just saying)
Overall this was a setup chapter, it was kind of supposed to be cliche as I was never good with first chapters, they always where my hard suit. Other than that I’ll most likely go back and review my old chapters before I finish 3 and 4. Plus I need to find a beta reader as well. Eesh, lots of work to do. Thanks for your help!
Have a good day -Arcurus
PS: How long have you been writing mile lonh reviews on Fanfiction? You do a great job.
secs agoFor future reference, you can continue a PM chain with no replies by selecting it in your outbox. It’s also helpful to me if you quote what you’re responding to.
[Do I need to delete the entire chapter before I can actually see any change?]
You shouldn’t have to, but FFN can be pretty weird. I think you have to edit the document in the Document Manager and then overwrite the chapter in the story manager.
[PS: How long have you been writing mile lonh reviews on Fanfiction? You do a great job.]
A little over a year now.
re: Your review to A New Beginning
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12665521/
I will take all of what you said into the consideration and will try to make it so it is more enjoyable for and others as well.
Reply to your review
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12539696/
Thank you for your opinion and review!
Sorry for the late reply, I didn’t see this until now but I’m new to this website and I don’t really know how everything works.
I’ll try working on your advice on my other fanfics (which are mainly on archive of our own)
Thank you again for your opinion, if you want to see how I’ve progressed on my other fics please follow this link:
re: Your review to Political Espionage of the Past: A Pokemon Fanfiction
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12651687/
For formats, generally I’ve been taught it’s best to assume people do not know, so put the formats there anyways.
And that wasn’t really an important bit of the plot. It was more that the spies were in some political spiderweb, and originally Russian.
Also, you sure put a lot of work in that review.
This first chapter was a general timeline sort of thing.
23h agoAlso, format is especially important in the first chapter if you are to be using different things.
Though really they could have been done as they came up