The Other Pokeauthors, Part 76

“I did not want to include the family line of Cosmog, Cosmoem, Lunala, Solgaleo, or Necrozma, as they are partly responsible for making the Ultra Wyrmholes in the first place”

However, we also get a reasonable excuse for writing in a non-native language, doing it for a course at an English-speaking university.


You have received a message from:

satoshiketchumhybrid
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/9892754/

Reply link: https://www.fanfiction.net/pm2/post.php?rid=224149062#new
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Subject: re: Your review to Heart of Darkness

A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12698767/

First, your own grammatical mistakes have not been overlooked. Second, with the key, you clearly didn’t see the differences in the text. The differences are this.
Thoughts (correct): italic text format
Thoughts (incorrect): standard or bold text format
Human/Pokemon speech (correct): standard text format
Human/Pokemon speech (incorrect): italic or bold text format
Hybrid speech (correct): bold text format with all letters capitalized
Hybrid speech (incorrect): italic or standard text format

I am sorry if your device doesn’t support different text formats. Of course, there is the possibility you did not pay attention to those differences. The third possibility is that you haven’t studied different types of writing. Possibility #4 is you can’t read properly. Option five is that your writing is terrible and as a result you try to make up reasons to berate others. Reason #6 is simply this: all of the above.

If you want to review other peoples’ work, try learning more about their style of writing before you say it’s wrong.

And finally, your review is riddled with grammatical errors. They really …

This message has been truncated due to length. To view in full, please visit site.

Aw, I wanted to see my grammatical errors!

re: Your review to Within
Oct 25RowennaOlympian
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12700935/

Thanks for the review? Sadly all your links took me to Pokemon threads but nothing that had to do with they topic. The world tags one took me to a page where quests reviewed on what I think was gay centered Pokemon fanfiction.

I finished this at one am on google docs on my phone, then transferred it to Word, and then transferred in to http://www.Fanfiction.net As when I always transfer writing to Fanfiction something things get messed up a little and I might not have caught all the new mistakes. Most of them were all my fault but a few came from there I’m sure. But then again I should have waited until morning to do one one big edit on Fanfiction before I posted.

And like I mentioned, I’m pretty bad with spelling and grammar. I just want to tell a story. Google is much smarted than me so when it kept telling me to always capitalize Pokemon names I listened to it.

Thanks for the help with the dialog. That has been something that confused me for a long time(watch me mess up again and not see it).

secs agoSorry, FFN can mess up links in reviews. Here’s the proper link to the thread: https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/165132256/1/World-Tags

Also, here’s another one if you want general grammar help: https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/21887406/1/Writing-Guide-Part-One-Grammar

[I finished this at one am on google docs on my phone, then transferred it to Word, and then transferred in to http://www.Fanfiction.net]

Yeah that’s a surefire way to introduce formatting errors. FFN’s word processing is terrible and produces weird results for basically everything it tries to convert. A more reliable method is to write everything in HTML (so code directly for your italics and such) and paste it into the source code. That’ll bypass FFN’s attempts to parse the weird formatting stuff all the newfangled word programs try to add these days.

Thank you
Oct 26Velsun
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12699745/

Thank you so much for this amazing feedback. I’m glad someone was able to point out my flaws, and I really take the constructive criticism very well. In particular, I’m glad you told me about the numbers and the Pokemon species not being capitalized.

I’m a little confused on the dialog part though. actually, after reading it a bit more, i think i understand what you mean. I also agree I need to make the character act and sound younger, which I’m hoping to do next chapter.

Sorry if it’s sorta dull, I’m trying to build up what’s going to happen. I haven’t written a fan fiction in a year, so I’m a bit rusty, trying to come back to it lol. Thank you so much though for this review. Tomorrow I’ll probably update the first chapter with the knowledge you have given me.

Have a good day!

secs agoThis thread is a good resource if you need help on grammar, especially dialogue: https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/21887406/1/Writing-Guide-Part-One-Grammar
4m agoWill check it out, thank you!
 
re: Your review to Pokemon Invasion
Oct 27jumbochamploonrules
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12699193/

I would like to thank you for your VERY critical review that you made, but I would also like to point out a few things that I wanted to mention:
For every single different nitpick you made, I was going to explain further down into the story. The Unown are Psychic types and they are the servants of Arceus, so I decided that they would be able to make portals to warp everyone away.
The Ultra Beasts CAN warp themselves out of Ultra Space, as seen with the first meeting with Lusamine in Sun and Moon with Nihilego’s sudden appearance.
I did not want to include the family line of Cosmog, Cosmoem, Lunala, Solgaleo, or Necrozma, as they are partly responsible for making the Ultra Wyrmholes in the first place and, in the purpose of this fic, the ones that accidentally showed the UB’s how to make them on a whim.
Earth is certainly big enough to support Pokemon. Even if the human population is very large, there are many areas in the wild that can sustain these few Pokemon
By ‘Unique’ Pokemon, I mean 3 from each different species. IE: 3 Gardevoir, 3 Gallade, 3 Duskull, etc. The only exception to this would be Arceus, as he is the Pokemon god.
I capitlalize Pokemon and their names in all of my fanfics because Pokemon is capitalized in all forms of media and the same can be said with each Pokemon name.
I also tend to have titles in both the drop down menu as well as in the story itself, just so people can know for sure what they are seeing. Besides, I have no idea if they even have drop down menus on phones.
I prefer to keep my fanfic chapters short when it comes to the introduction chapters so that I can focus on making more complex ones the more into the story we get. This one may have been less than a thousand words, but the next one I am putting up has over 1500. I don’t like to make extremely long chapters because of this fact.
I also don’t like people trying to tell me how to make the chapters of each fanfic roll out with different dialogue lines being the way you mentioned. It would just make the fic extremely tall-paged, something that I just cannot stand. I tend to get a bit of sickness whenever I have to continuously scroll down in a list to find out where to read next from all the clutter of different paragraphs reserved mainly for the main characters being secluded to their own 1-sentence paragraphs. I guess its some kind of thing that affects my autistic needs…
And finally, the only thing I don’t have an excuse for was my grammar slip when I said awhile instead of a while. I will fix that much because that really is a beginner’s mistake.
Everything else will stay the same, however, so please don’t take any of this offensively. After all, fanfics are meant to be a way to just smile and enjoy reading about an artist’s work. I just like to make people happy with my fanfics and constructive criticism is very nice. Just please don’t try and tell me that everything in my fanfiction is incorrect, especially concerning a video game that recently came out, I only played through 1 time, and I love the ever living crap out of. I am aware that I can’t be perfect when making my stories, but that does not mean that I need to be told how to do a fanfic, especially when the only constructive criticism you made that wasn’t making fun of my work or poking holes in plot holes was when you mentioned my grammar slip up. So can you please try to refrain from nitpicking my fanfics? Because, if you do it to someone else, they may not be as kind as I have been and they may report you for trying to make them change how the fanfiction works.

secs ago[they are the servants of Arceus]

Where in canon is this stated?

[The Ultra Beasts CAN warp themselves out of Ultra Space, as seen with the first meeting with Lusamine in Sun and Moon with Nihilego’s sudden appearance.]

That was due to Lusamine’s experiments making the fabric of reality unstable. It’s possible they were reacting to Lusamine’s desire to breach the worlds, but that particular nihilego shows no interest in doing anything and disappears almost immediately, even if you don’t attack it.

Regardless, this is avoiding the more important point, which is that the ultra beasts have no reason to perform an invasion in the first place. Everything we have seen about them implies the exact opposite — they are not suited for our world and are happy where they currently are.

[I did not want to include the family line of Cosmog, Cosmoem, Lunala, Solgaleo, or Necrozma, as they are partly responsible for making the Ultra Wyrmholes in the first place and, in the purpose of this fic, the ones that accidentally showed the UB’s how to make them on a whim.]

Torture victims are responsible for people torturing them now? Regardless, it’s still foolish to spurn their help — they are the only pokemon specifically trained to deal with this problem, and it’s clear from the plot of Sun and Moon that they are trustworthy.

[Earth is certainly big enough to support Pokemon. Even if the human population is very large, there are many areas in the wild that can sustain these few Pokemon]

Earth’s ecosystem is collapsing and is filled with nasty predators, particularly us. It’s reasonable if they have no choice, but if they have their pick of the whole universe? There are so many better planets.

[By ‘Unique’ Pokemon, I mean 3 from each different species. IE: 3 Gardevoir, 3 Gallade, 3 Duskull, etc.]

That’s very important information. You should make that clear.

[I capitlalize Pokemon and their names in all of my fanfics because Pokemon is capitalized in all forms of media and the same can be said with each Pokemon name. ]

https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/55376155/1/Capitalization-Thread

[I also don’t like people trying to tell me how to make the chapters of each fanfic roll out with different dialogue lines being the way you mentioned. It would just make the fic extremely tall-paged, something that I just cannot stand. I tend to get a bit of sickness whenever I have to continuously scroll down in a list to find out where to read next from all the clutter of different paragraphs reserved mainly for the main characters being secluded to their own 1-sentence paragraphs.]

It’s not optional, it’s grammar. Everyone else gets extremely confused when dialogue isn’t broken up like this. If it really makes you physically sick, that is not normal and you should see a doctor.

Nitpicking is what reviews are for. I never made fun of you or acted like your story should have been perfect. If you don’t agree with my criticisms, you are free to ignore or block me.

re: Your review to How could this happen?
Oct 27ZeroNyxMaxwell
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12699913/

Hello, thanks a lot for reviewing that first chapter I wrote.
Your guess was correct, I’m not a native speaker. The reason I wrote this is because my game design instructor told me to start writing stories, and my first job was to write a fanfiction because it’s easier to do than a whole new setup. I had to write it in english because the course is in english too.
I’m really grateful for your help, now that I’ve read your review I feel like deleting this first chapter and writing it again, but I feel like I would enter an infinite loop of “write-improve-delete and write better-improve again”, so I’ll keep it and any future chapters too. Besides, this is a random story I came up with because I didn’t want to write about the Real one I had in mind when I took this course, and although I had corrected Lots of errors I forgot to save the changes (except for the “There WERE”, which is actually correct as you can use both when in a phrase like “There was/were a thing and another thing”).
I thank you again for your review, I’ll try translating it into Italian and see if I can “remake” it a little better. And I’ll also keep updating both versions weekly.
For the fourth time, thanks a lot!
– Zero

2 Comments

  1. CrazyEd says:
    However, we also get a reasonable excuse for writing in a non-native language, doing it for a course at an English-speaking university.

    That actually is a pretty reasonable excuse, but… writing Pokemon fanfic for a college assignment seems a bit… Are you sure you want to do that?

    If you want to review other peoples’ work, try learning more about their style of writing before you say it’s wrong.

    Now that I know more about this person’s writing style, and have seen their key… excuse me? I’m pretty sure, looking at that key, that I’d have an easier time if you just let me divine it from context instead of trying to keep all that nonsense straight.

    Anything more than Ryukishi07’s Red Text is just too much.

    FFN’s word processing is terrible and produces weird results for basically everything it tries to convert. A more reliable method is to write everything in HTML (so code directly for your italics and such) and paste it into the source code.

    I wonder if y’all would think it was weird if I said I wrote all my fics in nothing but Notepad, did most of my editing like that, then copypasted it into AO3’s rich text editor, gave it one last once-over and spellcheck, and then formatted it properly. And after all that, I switched it to the HTML editor, copied it all, and pasted it in HTML back into Notepad as a backup.

    The Unown are Psychic types and they are the servants of Arceus

    Aren’t the unown more commonly associated with the legendary beasts?

    It would just make the fic extremely tall-paged, something that I just cannot stand.

    As someone who also has problem following along large blocks of text on computer screens, I find that aligning the top of your current paragraph with the top of the screen helps, as does increasing the font size.

    The reason I wrote this is because my game design instructor told me to start writing stories, and my first job was to write a fanfiction because it’s easier to do than a whole new setup

    Oh, wow, he actually addressed my original question! That actually makes a lot of sense. Okay, sure. Game design teacher wants you to work on stories, you write a story for a video game, so sure. I’d question the sensibility of choosing Pokemon, considering the sparsity of actual worldbuilding kind of defeats the point of doing fanfiction to avoid having to do worldbuilding, but eh.




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  2. Hinebras says:

    The Unown are Psychic types and they are the servants of Arceus

    That is loosely based on a special event in the Heart Gold/ Soul Silver games, you bring a movie promotional arceus to the Ruins of Alph where you can choose to get a lv. 1 palkia, dialga or giratina. The arceus gets into a ritual place where some unowns are seen to circle around, thus the connection of unown to arceus. Just one instance in a special event.

    But that’s just one interpretation, an argument can be made that those unown were just there because they were in the Ruins of Alph and felt a sudden mysterious power or which they felt attracted to.

     




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