From the “I wanted to make her less slutty” author: “I thank you for the criticism, as it will help me become a better writer… but was saying “you’re disgusting” really necessary?”
Jun 23
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12012201/
i’m sorry but that is how I always write, and you know the way you say this can really hurt someone’s feelings
i’m doing my best to write well, i’m from the netherlands, so please go easy on me
Jun 23
[i’m from the netherlands]
That’s not much of an excuse. If you’re a nonnative speaker, you should know you’re going to have problems and plan accordingly. If you really don’t want to just write in your native language, you should get a beta reader to help you.
I’m getting help from a beta reader that is KIND right now. and not match people here speak netherlands, and I can know I post a few stories in my native language, i’m sorry that I say it but you could say something like this a little friendlier the next time, because your now downright working on the slate and I already suffer a writers block thanks to guys like youJun 24
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12014917/
thank you for the pointers. Also I was tired when I wrote that summary, so I was not thinking straight when I wrote that. I’ll fix what I notice when I get the chance
Jun 26PokemonTrainer77
Thank you very much for your review on my story. In terms of the “horribly overdone” beginning, it’s a start that I always felt comfortable with. Plus I felt it the best way for both for two of the main characters to be introduced. Joseph Moore, being the main protagonist, and Seth Connors, being a protagonist and the main rival. Concerning the text formatting, that’s how I was taught in my writing class in high school, so I’ve just been kin to writing like that. I know now it’s incorrect but I’ll have to ask you let that one slide.And in terms of a plot, I refuse to spoil anything, but I will tell you there is a big one in the works. Once again, thank you for the review, and for your constructive criticism. Also, thank you for not opening ripping on the story with insults just because you felt there were points needing improvement.
Jun 26[And in terms of a plot, I refuse to spoil anything, but I will tell you there is a big one in the works.]
I’m glad to hear that, but your first chapter gives no indication of what it might be, and as such I have no reason to follow your story, as I have no idea if it’ll be about something that interests me. If you have some great idea that you think will draw in readers, there’s no need to play it so close to your chest; make your premise clear at the beginning so readers know what they’re getting into.
https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/11834/142411850/1/First-Chapters has more detailed advice on this.
Jun 26[Concerning the text formatting, that’s how I was taught in my writing class in high school, so I’ve just been kin to writing like that.]
Woah woah wait what, you were actually taught how to write dialogue? Do you remember exactly what your teachers said? This is almost never taught in schools and I’m very interested in learning when it is.
Well, the plot is going to take a while to show up, it’s going to come off right now as a classic, but over time we’re going to get some happenings in a behind-the-scenes kind of look from an antagonistic perspective, when they’re revealed. And concerning the writing, it was an extracurricular class. She always went on and on about grammar and stuff, and she pretty much drilled the difference between its’ and it’s (always include the comma she said, no matter which version), and laid and laying (the latter of which apparently means active sex in a story).Jun 26[its’ and it’s (always include the comma she said, no matter which version)]
Then she was wrong. “Its'” doesn’t mean anything, “its” without an apostrophe (that’s an apostrophe, not a comma, by the way) is the possessive. Source, assuming FFN doesn’t eat it: /spelling/its-its/
Did she also teach you how to write dialogue?
Sorry, I guess I’m not that good at the whole writing knowledge. I get shit mixed up a lot. Commas and apostrophe. It’s early in the morning for me. And yes she did teach us, but it’s the fact that I think she skimped on it because she thought everyone who took the class already knew. Which was probably one of the reasons I thought she was a rather…ehhhhhh teacher.Jun 26
A response to your review at https://www.fanfiction.net/r/12017484/
I thank you for the criticism, as it will help me become a better writer… but was saying “you’re disgusting” really necessary?
If you think a child’s clothing is “slutty”, then yes, it was.To their credit, they did actually remove that line.