Thank you, i appreciate the review, it will help me become a better writer

However, each person writes at their own skill level and strength. For someone who has been writing for ages I’m sure these mistakes would be rare and huge but for someone who doesn’t write Pokemon much this is to be expected.

Like I left in the authors note at the end, this is my first adventure write. It takes place in Kanto and yes runs off of the games but I have my own plan for it of course. I’m not expecting it to do well – I’m not expecting it to get much attention at all. But the way I choose to write it is of course the way I choose.

Now I know I requested feedback and, like I said up there, I appreciate it a ton! But I’m no veteran writer and asking if English is my first language based off of spelling errors and the lack of a spell check is a little harsh. I’m sure you have your reasons but we are all entitled to our own styles of writing and mine is just from the heart. Whoever likes it will like it. Whoever doesn’t? Oh well.

Thank you again, by the way.

Thank you for your review! Before I actually respond to it, I would like to provide you with a critique of your review. Please keep in mind that critique is not criticism; critique includes helpful tips, slight criticism, and what you liked about my work. Currently, your critique is missing the positive aspect necessary. I have no idea what you liked about my story. If I were a new writer, this would discourage me immensely rather than feeling helpful. Before you mention it, yes I checked your profile and I know your (possibly out-of-date) opinion on positive critiques. If this perspective of yours is current, please realize it sounds harsh and rude; no one wants only criticism. Now, onto your actual review.

First, I am going to disagree with the capitalization thread. I know it’s aimed specifically at Pokemon and how there are drastic changes between each generation on what is capitalized and when. I honestly don’t care. I believe that it is a stylistic choice. I choose to keep the dialogue that I lift from the game the way it is. I choose to keep the convention of capitalizing “Pokemon” and any Pokemon’s name. A lesson in grammar is something I need not. If you argue with me by saying this is already addressed in the attached article, please note this line: “Your existence proves your country’s education system is a sick joke. Please include your location when posting so we can tally them up and see who “wins”.” This line is extremely rude. Yes, not everyone comes from a background with competent education, but that shouldn’t matter. There is cultural history behind so many words and mannerisms and dialects. Everyone is allowed to have their own style; it reflects who they are. You don’t take Picasso and force him to paint Dali for the rest of his life. Please don’t force people to conform to a single style.

Second, I’m a bit confused about your question “So pokemon aren’t people?” If that’s a continuation of your first critique, then I’ve addressed it. If not, I’m missing some context here.

Third, I read Farla’s argument. They believe in always starting the story en media res. Personally, I hate writing en media res. The first chapter is supposed to be a type of prologue, but “Chapter 0” isn’t currently possible on either AO3 or FFN. This is another stylistic thing and is supposed to be barely a scene. And honestly? It’s the summary that’s supposed to entice the reader. The hook is supposed to come within the first five pages, which includes the next chapter in the story. This is legitimate story-publishing advice.

Thank you for your critique. I do wish that next time you use your own words or state at least one positive thing, if not for me, then for all the other writers whose motivation and inspiration you could be crushing.

~Bridgett

Now I see what confused me; the brackets are you quoting me. I’m not used to that. Also, yes, Pokemon are not people (in most cases). I don’t see what you’re trying to imply here.

You are not obligated to review my story. If that upsets you, you don’t have to post your reviews on a website with public reviews and you don’t have to respond to my helpful advice. Please note that possibly a majority of stories you “review” are written by children and people learning how to write. I’m just trying to get you to be more kind. Criticism after criticism destroys creativity and prevents people from writing anymore. If you’re planning on becoming a book editor, this is the kind of stuff that will get you fired.

You do realize that Break It is in the Games category, right? I put it there because I’m going off the games and not the anime. I use “people” synonymously with “human.” The two times I even use the phrases “Pokemon and people” or “people and Pokemon” are when I lift lines from Lysandre or Sycamore. The quote in the summary is what Sycamore says when you pick what you look like in the game. I don’t disagree that Pokemon are sentient; I just don’t use “people” synonymously with “Pokemon.”

I am not ashamed of my grammatical errors. I like when they are pointed out; most of the time, they end up being atomic errors. However, you haven’t pointed out a single error of mine. You’ve just criticized my stylistic choices, which is extremely rude. When I mentioned shame, I should have mentioned frustration as frustration over the image of the work in the head differs from the image of the final product on paper. Also, thank you for discrediting any and every Tumblr artist. I’m sure they’re as annoyed as I am at your lackadaisical dismissal of all their work. People do respond on Tumblr, but obviously not in any way you’ve experienced.

Up to what game have you played? I’ve found that since Black and White onwards, the writers have only improved in their craft. Let me frame your response with a question: Are dolphins, elephants, and gorillas people? They’re sentient creatures too.

Remember how I said that I wish you would use your own words? Well, I wish you would use your own words instead of Farla’s. You sound like a mindless parrot when you

I want you to realize how rude you sound. I am trying to be kind and not shout at how frustrating this is that you aren’t understanding the way your tone comes off. Please, remember to be kind. You don’t know what kind of day the other person behind the screen has had.

I didn’t complete my thought. Hang on. The response doesn’t sound correct.

Remember how I said that I wish you would use your own words? Well, I wish you would use your own words instead of Farla’s/ You sound like a mindless parrot when you refer to them and never give your own answers. You could be like Farla and have an FAQ, but you don’t. You’re approximately 23 years old. You are allowed to be your own person.

Unless you prefer to sound rude and snarky with your answers. Some of the questions she responded to were legitimate reactions that authors have. When you don’t say anything nice and you only criticize–note that solely criticizing as you do, even without the “help” that people didn’t necessarily ask for–it makes authors believe their work is shit, that they can never be like the person who inspired them to write, that they can never be successful. For most people, fanfiction writing is practice. You know how artists practice sketching and then post it online? Fanfiction is the exact same way, but for writers. I see no reason why you should be so harsh. Many “bad writers” are children who are starting to learn, adults who never had the chance to try, or people with English as a second or third language.

You and Farla are killing their creativity by being rude. You have to tell writers at least one thing, no matter how small, they did correctly. That small positive comment is what will keep writers going and actually activate the change that Farla is looking for. They want to change social dynamics? You can’t have change when you’re driving the people who can invite the change away. And Farla, since I know you’ll read this eventually, “not fucking up” is a good thing. Rick Riordan–the author of countless children’s novels, the editor to his son’s novels, and the head of a new publishing brand–celebrated not fucking up with one of his characters. He wrote a genderfluid child and was told that he didn’t do a terrible job. And. He. Celebrated.

You two need to remember to put good in the world. You’re both in your mid 20s at the very least. Do onto others as you would have others do onto you. Be kind.

You only told me once to go to a thread, and that was for capitalization. Not once did you ask me to go to any thread that was specifically about critiquing your criticism before your most recent remark. The only reason I can see you wanting me to go elsewhere is because you want more people on your side of the conversation. I see this turning into an argument, so no, thank you. I also see there being no point to furthering this conversation since it will be reposted elsewhere anyways.

Besides that, you haven’t really listened to anything I’ve said either.

Please have a nice day and remember to be kind.
~Bridgett