[20] The Other Pokereviews, Part 139

11/12/2018 St. Elmo's Fire 6 Comments

One milquetoast N fic and a lot of generic trainer journeys.

Anime count: 12

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13108787/1/Pokemon-a-new-age-part-one

I don’t watch the anime, so I’m not going to be able to review this story on content. Please tag your story as anime fic so people searching for anime fic can find it. Find your story under “Manage Stories” and select it from the dropdown menu that says “World: Any” in the “Category” section.

Your title needs to be fully capitalized.

Titling chapters in the story itself looks kinda weird; the dropdown menu should suffice.

It’s better if you separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story. You can do this through the in-site editor.

Not using paragraphs makes me not want to read your story. It is incredibly insulting to your readers that you thought this was acceptable to post.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13108869/1/Clear-Resolution

I’d just like to point out that Fire4Heaven has not only been repeatedly told by the authors they contact to stop that warning spam, they have said they will stop if I stop reviewing. However, weirdly, they don’t do it when I’m actively reviewing, but resume the moment I take any time off. This is because they are a bully who just capitalizes on any chance to attack me, and not someone who actually cares about any cause. And yes, they will use more sockpuppets to keep mobbing this story in response to this review. Their sockpuppets are listed on my profile if you want to take preventative action.

Anyway, hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story. You are free to verify everything I say on Grammarly or other open-access grammatical resources if you think I’ve gotten anything wrong.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[Also, this is a bit on the short side to see if I can write shorter fanfiction. It’s been a trend that I come up with an idea, and they expand to 6,000 words or more in the final version, so I want to shrink down the size of my one-shots a bit.]

Hahaha, I know the feeling. My latest story was conceived of as a oneshot, and it ended up at 3 chapters and over 20,000 words.

It’s better if you separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story. You can do this through the in-site editor.

[the green-haired man]

This is a bit of an awkward epithet. Epithets bring the reader’s attention to that particular attribute; this is effective if you want to help your reader to focus on key details with just a few words, but awkward and distracting if the detail isn’t relevant. It’s okay to keep using the character’s name if you can’t think of a good epithet.

[It actually took N quite a bit of convincing from a rather adamant Bianca for him to engage himself in research. She remembers his wary gaze every time they head into the forest with the newest gadget for collecting data. He eventually opens up and helps Professor Juniper with various topics from time to time, all related to the wellbeing of Pokémon.]

This section sounds very awkward to me – you seem to shift from N’s perspective to Bianca’s with [She remembers his wary gaze…], and also switch from past tense to present. It might be a good idea to just make the whole story past tense if you plan to do a lot of retrospectives.

[music is a universal language that both people and Pokémon can use to communicate]

N doesn’t say “people and pokemon”, as that implies pokemon aren’t people. I think he does once in B2W2, but it’s still pretty OOC – he always says “humans and pokemon” in B/W.

This is sweet, but I find it a bit strange that an autistic person would have so much trouble with music – it really is one of the more mathematical and logical arts, and many of the most famous and enduring composers, both modern and classical, were successful because of the meticulous structure of their compositions. Though it’s thematically appropriate, I don’t really see the connection between a conflicted sense of self leading to flat or discordant music, especially since the entire point is that he’s trying to use it to express what other people want. I mean, isn’t helping pokemon express themselves what his heart was telling him in the first place?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13108931/1/Colorless

Blocked, don’t recognize them.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13109554/1/Pokeshipping-Week-2018

Blocked, name looks familiar but their stories are unclicked. Anime.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13109571/1/Salvation

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello,” She said] or [“Hello” she said] or [“Hello!” She said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part IS considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

I don’t see what this has to do with Pokemon. This looks like an original fantasy story with characters who happen to share names with the Pokemon cast.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13109678/1/Fantasy

Previously reviewed, not blocked.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13109933/1/Climbing-a-Broken-Ladder

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don’t have to feel like I’m making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story. You are free to verify everything I say on Grammarly or other open-access grammatical resources if you think I’ve gotten anything wrong.

Titling chapters in the story itself looks kinda weird; the dropdown menu should suffice.

[we moved out of the comfort of mother’s basements]

It looks like an “our” got dropped here.

[A normal trainer here in the Unova region needs to get a starter from Professor Juniper]

No, they don’t. If that were true, every trainer you met would have one and Juniper’s lab would be the capital of the region. There’s nothing to indicate the player’s experience is universal; even in cases where the handout is standard, like Elm, it seems limited to your sleepy hamlet. Even if it wasn’t, it’s just more interesting to see characters do things we’re not already familiar with. Don’t feel like you have to go down well-trodden paths.

[all 8 gyms]

In prose, numbers less than 13 or so are written out with letters.

You’re formatting dialogue inconsistently. The full rules are: Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello,” She said] or [“Hello” she said] or [“Hello!” She said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part IS considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

[meet her and her aid]

You want “aide”, with an E. “Aid” is the verb.

[Grabbing my bag that I stuffed some clothes into; I went downstairs and waited for Sol to get ready.]

This is improper semicolon usage. As a general rule of thumb, you should be able to replace semicolons with periods and still have the resulting sentences make sense; for instance, what I’m doing here. You want a comma here.

So do you have a plot for this? The standard badge quest is not a plot. If you’re just trying to novelize the game, you’re going to peter out. That’s not an indictment of your skill, that’s simple fact backed up by years of data on these sorts of stories. The games don’t really have a plot, if we’re being honest. You should think about what kind of unique spin you want to take on this, and advertise it early on so people can get hooked.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13109979/1/I-was-reborn-into-a-romhack

So, the thing is, the same things that are interesting about a game aren’t necessarily interesting for a story. This story doesn’t seem to contain any plot, and the protagonist has almost no personality other than being blandly surprised at changes that aren’t actually that surprising given you say this is a randomization romhack from the start. It sound like you might have better luck doing a Let’s Play instead; narrative/roleplaying LPs are a thing if you’re interested in that angle.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13110130/1/A-Flash-of-the-Blade

[Not that it mattered anyway, she was certain that this shortcut wasn’t on a map.]

This is a comma splice. You need to split this sentence in two or use a different transition. A semicolon or dash would work here.

You shouldn’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

[The strange being in the cave had ducked back behind the outcrop, now shivering in fear. It had encountered the strange orange glow before, and its kind did not like it.]

You jump to a new perspective here, which is jarring. Stories are generally stronger when we stick with a single perspective we can get immersed in. If you do want to switch POVs, you need to use a scene break marker to show the reader something’s changed.

This is an interesting idea, but a bit short for a first chapter. Remember that your first chapter is your opportunity to hook your reader – you don’t need to put all your cards on the table, but you need to have something to show. Ending on a cliffhanger, especially when there’s only one scene so far, is generally not a good idea, as those only work when the reader is already invested. It’s pretty obvious Lillie’s going to be fine here, so it might be better to just append the second chapter here to give us more of a grounding to start out.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13110518/1/Exile

Look, you really, really shouldn’t ask for characters. It might seem like it’s harder to think up characters than have someone else do it for you, but it’s actually far more work to try to figure out how to write a random batch of personalities and backstories, then figure out how you can make them fit into your story and get along with each other. If you make up characters based on what you need for your story, it’s not only a much better story for it, it’s easier to do. Almost all SYOC stories end up never updating, those that do often die after a chapter or two, and even the ones that continue a bit longer are plagued by meandering non-plots and characters who don’t seem to have any point to their scenes. If you just want general inspiration, it’s better to check out lists of public OCs and find ones that you know will work well with the story. Here’s one: fanfiction (d o t) net/topic/11834/128021680/1/Character-Bio-Thread

It’s better if you separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story. You can do this through the in-site editor.

Titling chapters in the story itself looks kinda weird; the dropdown menu should suffice.

[this Arceus-forsaken land]

Using Arceus in place of God sounds ridiculous and has no basis in canon. It’s fine to just use “God” or, since this guy is Nordic, some other religious equivalent, because it’s nice to remind people that other religions aren’t just Christianity in a different hat.

A new speaker requires a new paragraph. As interesting as this premise looks, not doing that makes this too hard to follow to continue reading.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13110751/1/The-Pok%C3%A9mon-s-Guide-to-the-Galaxy

Crossovers belong in the crossover section. If this is a Pokemon AU of THGTTG, it’s a crossover.

And, indeed, I don’t see what this has to do with Pokemon. Everyone’s acting exactly like humans with only a few token nods to pokemon abilities that could be replicated by any alien sci-fi technobabble. If you just want THGTTG but everyone’s in pokemon fursuits, that’s a visual trope and you need a visual medium for that, such as a comic.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13110777/1/Alone

Firebright seems to have covered most of it. Additionally, there’s a feature to label stories in franchises with multiple continuities, such as Pokemon. You can find it by selecting your story in “Manage Stories” and selecting something from the dropdown menu labeled “World”. Since this is set in anime continuity, you should select Anime.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13110898/1/Oliver-The-Legionnaire-s-Son

Repost of something I reviewed a while back. Not blocked, but Firebright already covered it.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13111104/1/Darkening-Dawn

Summaries should tell us what the story is specifically about. If you mean for this to be a collection of short stories, you may be better off posting this as a series on Archive of Our Own.

It’s better if you separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story. You can do this through the in-site editor.

You want “stories”, not “storys”.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13111709/1/The-Hero-of-Kanto-Arrives-in-Sinnoh

Talarc seems to have covered the main points. Additionally, however, there’s a feature to label stories in franchises with multiple continuities, such as Pokemon. You can find it by selecting your story in “Manage Stories” and selecting something from the dropdown menu labeled “World”. Since this is set in anime continuity, you should select Anime.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13112033/1/Red-Alert

[The Final go-ahead has been cleared through the old men.]

“Final” shouldn’t be capitalized here.

[This’ll be like hunting an Eevee.]

Also, that seems like an odd phrase for Johto, where eevee are extremely rare. It’s only in Kalos that eevee are common wildlife.

[We’ve seen a bit about Johto and their motivations, and their military strength.]

More the latter than the former, I would say. This is too insubstantial for a first chapter. Remember that your first chapter is your opportunity to hook your reader – you don’t need to put all your cards on the table, but you need to have something to show. This is basically an extended action/gun porn scene capped off by generic military vagueing. That doesn’t actually give the readers much to go on or much to get invested in. I can see that Johto seems to be retaliating against Hoenn for… something, but that’s about it.

In particular, pokemon haven’t featured at all this chapter, which is very weird for a Pokemon fic. If people want to read about loving descriptions of military technology, there are already hundreds of stories like that. Why is it important this story is set in the Pokemon world? What unique concept are you bringing to the table here? You’ll hook more readers if you can lead with that.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13112098/1/The-Tale-of-Gengar

Blocked, don’t recognize them.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13112266/1/Catching-Gods

Blocked, new user.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13112409/1/The-story-of-Sam-and-Luke-meeting

Blocked, previously encountered.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13112420/1/A-Champion-s-Road

Titling chapters in the story itself looks kinda weird; the dropdown menu should suffice.

At a certain point, you really need to ask yourself why you’re so uncomfortable admitting you want to write about an OC that you have to staple Ash’s face over theirs. Just write about your OC. Trying to force this to hit the same beats as canon to justify it being Ash will just cheapen the changes you’ve made and make the entire thing more boring as you take what could be an original plotline and hammer it back into the same shape as always.

There are several typos and minor errors throughout this. You should proofread more thoroughly, or get a beta reader to help you.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13117280/1/Pokemon-Ultimate-Frontier-Trainer

[OOC Ash]

I guarantee you do not need a speech key. If basic actions aren’t obvious from context, something has gone more wrong than a key can fix.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13117171/1/Alola-high

Blocked, Unknown Meloetta Lover.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13116787/1/Pokemon-Primordial-Fury-Unleashed

Non-story chapters are banned on this site. This sort of information isn’t really necessary, anyway; if character details are relevant, they’ll come up in the story.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13116787/2/Pokemon-Primordial-Fury-Unleashed

Titling chapters in the story itself looks kinda weird; the dropdown menu should suffice.

[it’s “Owner”]

You want “its”. “It’s” always means “it is”.

I understand the urge to explain basic information to the reader to set the stage, but opening the story with exposition is actually not a good idea. Readers don’t actually need to know this stuff just yet to enjoy the story; things like who the main character is and what they’re doing matter much more in the long run. Show don’t tell, etc. This kind of thing reads more like a textbook entry than a story. It can work later on, but the reader has to be invested first.

In prose, numbers less than 13 or so are written out with letters.

[According to what the humans called “the news”, the Pokemon seemed to have ripped off it’s owner’s face partially due to being fed up from constant battles it was going through. This single event sparked a rebellious attitude in almost every Pokemon stuck inside a Pokeball.]

My question is: why hasn’t this happened before? You say “trillions” of battles were fought between pokemon, and going by canon the modern system seems to have been around for quite a while, a century at least. None of the hyper-aggressive superpowered monsters snapped at a trainer in all that time?

[less than 4 months after this mass releasing of Pokemon, the government had called for the mass destruction of all Pokemon within 500 miles of any form of civilization. The humans came in swarms well in the millions, slaughtering any Pokemon that stood in their path. Over 13 million Pokemon were murdered in cold blood in 7 months.]

How are they doing this? Pokemon are far, far stronger than humans. The question of exactly how well pokemon fare against modern weaponry is an ongoing fandom debate, but I find it highly unlikely 13 million pokemon could be easily slaughtered by mere infantry. If they dropped a nuke, maybe, but even then who knows – if ghost pokemon really are the souls of the dead, that may just make them stronger.

[It was at this time that the legends of the hall of origin began to finally call upon every wild Pokemon in the world. The goddess of all Pokemon, Arceus, lending a war cry of anger and rage, had declared full war upon the humans, saying that “All humans must be killed, if they aren’t killed, then they will kill us and make what we’ve currently achieved pointless.”]

I’m sorry, what? The gods didn’t lift a finger while their chosen people were being enslaved and abused but now that, due to their own negligence, it’s finally boiled over into overt war, they’re suddenly going to take a side? How does that make any sense? If the gods truly cared, things should never have gotten this bad in the first place.

And going by canon, they actually don’t care. Arceus does jack while a human is torturing its children into destroying the universe literally right under its nose. (Arceus is also not the god of all pokemon, just the Sinnoh pantheon. It has no connection to any others and is never mentioned outside an event location of questionable canonicity.)

[moral began to quickly drop]

You want “morale”.

This is too insubstantial for a first chapter. Remember that your first chapter is your opportunity to hook your reader – you don’t need to put all your cards on the table, but you need to have something to show. This kind of in-medias-res after-the-end thing works much, much better when we don’t know exactly what led up to it. What matters is who the main characters are and how they’re going to live in this situation; that’s what you should lead with. Setting details should come after people are already invested; you have to make people ask the questions before you give the answers.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13116771/1/A-World-Reborn

Blocked, previously reviewed. No actual story content.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13116723/1/Pokemon-Ultimate

I second AshxSelene Writer’s points; in addition, there’s a feature to label stories in franchises with multiple continuities, such as Pokemon. You can find it by selecting your story in “Manage Stories” and selecting something from the dropdown menu labeled “World”. Since this is set in anime continuity, you should select Anime.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13116588/1/Medcom

Blocked, don’t recognize them.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13116578/1/Title-Paths-of-Mystery-to-Enter

[After encountering a dead end, a family of siblings splits up to achieve their own individual goals. What goals will they aim for, and will they make it to the top?]

Well, uh… the answer’s going to be what your story’s about, so it might be a good idea to tell us a bit more than that. This is a very vague, generic summary that could apply to lots of stories in this category, and that won’t get you much traction.

It’s better if you separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story. You can do this through the in-site editor.

Since web documents don’t allow indents, you’ll want to double-space to separate paragraphs, like I’m doing here.

[John had finally turned to Marie, who was wearing a dark green blouse, a long skirt, and brown boots. Her light brown hair went up to her upper back.]

So, description is tricky to do in an engaging way. Notice how the description bits do absolutely nothing to advance the narrative; you’ve brought the story to a screeching halt to tell us these things, and you’re going to jerk us back into motion just as suddenly in the next paragraph. These sorts of “start-stop” moments are things you should try to avoid. Though it’s difficult, you should try to incorporate description into an action, or wrap it in imagery that’s thematically relevant to the character or scene. Give it layers, basically.

[“You’re not still doubting yourself because of that incident, are you?” questioned Marie]

“Questioned” is what police do; it’s a synonym for “interrogated”, not “asked”. You’re overusing uncommon speech verbs. Don’t be afraid to use said; lovely word, won’t bite, usually more fitting than whatever fancy verb you’re using in its place. You may have heard to avoid said because it’s so bland and boring, but that’s actually its greatest strength. Nonstandard speech verbs stick out; they’re used for emphasis, when how something is said is important to the story and you want the reader to stop and take notice. If you use that emphasis for every single line, the reader will become oversaturated, lessening the impact when you actually do want emphasis on a speech tag.

[“Clover, Leech Seed!” John ordered.

“Emboar, Flame Charge around Leech Seed!” Sarah called.

“Samurott, Aqua Jet, hit Emboar from behind!” Adam commanded.

Serperior shot small seeds at Emboar, who cloaked itself in fire and swerved around it. Then Samurott covered itself in water and followed closely behind Emboar as it shot itself into the air.]

This is a very simplistic way of writing battles. You should try to break free of the mechanical “trading blows” model of the games. Think about the kind of tricks you’ve seen in action movies, or even the anime itself – nonstandard move usage, combos, using the environment, etc.

Well, that ended abruptly.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13116555/1/True-Love

Blocked, guy who writes tons of pokeromance stories.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13116205/1/Pokemon-Emerald-a-page-at-a-time

This is really messy and hard to read. You should really get a beta reader.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13116156/1/Camilla-The-Chosen-One-Anew

It really seems like your summary should have been an actual scene in the story? It’s written like one, and the opening is confusing without it.

[The vehicle that tried to warn her to hit her]

That “to” shouldn’t be there, I believe.

[wings on it’s back]

You want “its”. “It’s” always means “it is”.

Arceus is genderless. Making it male is sexist and reinforces the harmful idea that male is the default.

[she didn’t get the chance to fall in love, didn’t get the chance to travel, he told her that at the age of ten, people could travel all over the world with a friend known as a Pokemon.]

The third comma here is a comma splice. You need to split this sentence in two or use a different transition.

[Groaning was heard as a young woman of 16 years of age blearily opened her pretty brown eyes]

So there are a few things to note here.

First, this opens in passive voice: “Groaning was heard…” Heard by whom? There is a reason why English teachers harp on passive voice so much – it is genuinely weaker and more awkward than giving a subject to a verb. It can work when used purposefully, but it’s generally a bad idea to use it with an opening sentence.

Secondly, you’re cramming description in here where it doesn’t fit. While you’re not using a full-on Description Paragraph (TM), these details are still incongruous with the action. “Of 16 years of age” is so weirdly specific and sudden that it jars the flow of a sentence that’s otherwise about action. Whose perspective is this from? How does the narrator know she’s 16? Why is that an important detail? If it’s vital we know her age, it’s much more natural for her to disclose it in dialogue at a later point.

Thirdly, and related to the second point, the use of value terms like “pretty” in narration is extremely jarring. Pretty by whose definition? That’s a subjective term, so it doesn’t make sense to be said by an objective narrator.

[my names Camilla]

This needs an apostrophe for possessive.

This is too insubstantial for a first chapter. Remember that your first chapter is your opportunity to hook your reader – you don’t need to put all your cards on the table, but you need to have something to show. We haven’t learned much about the main character, where they’re going, or what this story’s going to be about. The first chapter should answer those questions.

I’m also not sure if the “from another world” bit is really necessary, as this seems like it’s going to be a standard pokemon journey. If a detail isn’t relevant, it’ll only distract from the story.

Fanfiction, Pokemon Fanfic, Reviews Pokemon fanfic

6 Comments

N says:

November 13, 2018 at 10:09 am

And still being a jerk to everyone.

Reply Report comment
1. Roc says:
  
  November 13, 2018 at 10:13 am
  
  Hybrid, how many throwaway emails do you need to create before you realize that you are banned here?
  
  Reply Report comment
  1. Nm says:
    
    November 13, 2018 at 10:25 am
    
    Not even using an email. Though my question is how many more wasted reviews before you all realize you are jerks and should stop?
    
    Reply Report comment
    1. Roc says:
      
      November 13, 2018 at 10:33 am
      
      [Not even using an email.]
      
      I don’t believe that. I thought the system was that any guests had to enter their email when they post comments?
      
      [Though my question is how many more wasted reviews before you all realize you are jerks and should stop?]
      
      I must quote Farla again. Why are you so convinced that you must constantly say these things here? Are you under the impression that doing this means you’re correct?
      
      2
      
      Reply Report comment
      1. nada says:
        
        November 13, 2018 at 10:57 am
        
        [I don’t believe that. I thought the system was that any guests had to enter their email when they post comments?]
        
        Considering that tv.com isn’t an email address I am said to say you are wrong.
        
        [Why are you so convinced that you must constantly say these things here?]
        
        Why not you abuse the review feature to no end on fanfiction, break the sites rules, and then get pissy with me for knocking you down a peg.
        
        Oh, and Farla/St You aren’t fooling anyone with the whole “You are nothing” bullcrap. Everyone knows you wouldn’t be putting this much effort unless you had something to hide.
        
        So to sun up I am giving you a test of your own medicine.
        
        Reply Report comment
        
        Roc says:
        
        November 13, 2018 at 11:21 am
        
        [Considering that tv.com isn’t an email address I am said to say you are wrong.]
        
        So THAT’s how you manage to keep bypassing the moderator.
        
        [Why not you abuse the review feature to no end on fanfiction, break the sites rules, and then get pissy with me for knocking you down a peg.]
        
        Three things. First, Farla has reviewing for over a decade, way longer before you started throwing angry tirades. You’ll pretty much find that the reason why peoples’ review sections are the way they are now is because of you and everyone else who supports you. Even when Farla was reviewing years ago, people didn’t argue to your degree.
        
        Two, there have been multiple accounts of people in your group who have posted rule-breaking “stories” that are only meant to insult Farla and Elmo. I have also seen you give thumbs-up to authors who do so. Oh, and let’s not forget the time you posted a non-story chapter on your Pokemon story that got called out on CU. You want to talk about people breaking rules, don’t act like you don’t respect them.
        
        Three, I don’t believe you’ve ever taken anyone down a peg. I can’t speak for Farla and her group, but it’s clear from the way they brush you off that they don’t really take you as a serious threat. Fun Fact: I don’t either. I just felt like responding to you since I happened to be looking through the reviews when you showed up.
        
        [Everyone knows you wouldn’t be putting this much effort unless you had something to hide.]
        
        Euh, what? If anything, I think they’re putting effort into making sure they are NOT hiding anything crucial. Otherwise, this site wouldn’t exist.
        
        [So to sun up I am giving you a test of your own medicine.]
        
        The only effect of your “medicine” is a slight bit of relief from the prevalent dreariness of everyday life as I’ve seen some people actually find your responses hilarious. Thanks for that. Now please go away.
        
        7
        Reply

Dragon Quill

Writing With Scales

[20] The Other Pokereviews, Part 139

6 Comments

Leave a Reply Cancel reply