Last time, the love potion business. Today,
As it turned out, Linda Randall had a darn good reason for skipping out on our appointment Saturday night.
Linda Randall was dead.
As was inevitable. She had casual sex and knew precisely how attractive she was.
Harry attempts to redirect the spotlight to himself by saying that he’s stuck wearing cowboy boots because his cat stole one of his sneakers, because the author only knows how to write dogs. He then explains that Randall died, somehow Murphy found out almost immediately, she tried to call Harry, “failed to get through, and then sent a squad car down to pick me up and bring me in to do my consultant bit.” I think that means his phone happened to stop working due to either general wizardness or specific demon spit, but I think it’s equally possible she could call, hear it ring a while with no one answering, and figure that he was probably there and just not answering to be a dick.
Anyway, someone whose phone did work happened to call about public indecency and that’s how they found Harry.
Dear Susan had come to my rescue, explaining away what had happened as “Just one of those things, tee-hee,” and assuring the officers that she was all right and would be fine to drive home.
So we’ve been talking a little in the comments about how women act, and here’s something about that.
Harry/the author are going to proceed from the assumption this means she’s pretty fine, and we’ll get lines to that effect shortly. But that doesn’t seem like it at all here – it just seems like a woman who doesn’t want to deal with this any longer. It’s possible to hate what someone just did and simply not have the energy to do anything more about it. So she smiles, she avoids having to explain, and she gets out of there. Harry, being the alpha male who knows the world revolves around him, knows she’s doing it for him, not her own sanity.
She stopped and gave me a kiss on the cheek on her way out, and whispered, “Not bad, Harry,” in my ear. Then she patted my bare ass and got in her car.
And because Harry’s sexism is completely endorsed by the book, she was doing it for him.
“Dresden,” she said. She peered up at me. “You planning on having King Kong climb your hair?”
I tried to smile at her. “We still need to cast our screaming damsel. Interested?”
This is perhaps the least objectionable moment of banter, but it’s still awful in context – namely, that Harry only has one “joke” he tells in a hundred different variations, which is, “Hey, what if you were a sex object?” It doesn’t matter what the subject is, his response is always going to be something sexual, and that’s why this is sleezeball behavior.
Murphy snorted. She snorts really well for someone with such a cute nose.
THIS IS NOT A COMPLIMENT.
This is saying that it’s strange how Murphy has CAPABILITY TO EXPRESS NON-SEXY EMOTION despite SEXY APPEARANCE when those things are supposed to be mutually exclusive. That it’s endlessly surprising the person he views as a sex doll keeps acting like a person.
Ah, and now Murphy clarifies that yes, his phone wasn’t working.
“Another victim,” she said. “Same M.O. as Tommy Tomm and the Stanton woman.”
“Jesus,” I said. “They’re using the storms.”
…he just realized.
No, seriously. He’s not even acting to mislead Murphy for some weird reason:
“What?” Murphy turned and fixed her eyes on me.
“The storm,” I repeated. “You can tap storms and other natural phenomena to get things done. All natural fuel for the mojo.”
“You didn’t say anything about that before,” Murphy accused.
“I hadn’t thought of it until tonight.” I rubbed at my face. It made sense. Hell’s bells, that was how the Shadowman had been able to do all of that in one night.
I am so utterly sick of the terrible writing that no, fuck it, I demand this will make sense.
Harry’s concussion is messing with his ability to retrieve memories. He thought of the storms, figured out that was what the guy did, his brain attempted to file that information, and it either dropped the file through a grate or misfiled it inside ninth grade algebra.
That also explains why he’s shocked to hear the victim was Randall. He’s pretty much forgotten every thought he’s had on the case after the baseball bat guy, and thanks to his inability to take notes and the fact he’s only grudgingly thinking about the case, he hasn’t realized. This is also why he only remembered the three-eye(tm) in conversation with Murphy directly after seeing the crazy junkie and hasn’t made any connections with that yet.
Linda Randall’s one-room apartment looked like the trailer of a rock band that did little besides play concerts, host parties, and fall into a stupor afterward. Dirty clothes were strewn on one side of a king-size bed. There was a disproportionate amount of clothing that looked as though it had been purchased from a Frederick’s of Hollywood catalog-lacy and silky and satiny colors, all bright, designed to attract the eye. There were many candles around the bed, on shelves and dressers and a night table, most burned halfway down. The drawer of the night table was partly open, revealing a number of personal amusements-Linda Randall had, apparently, liked her toys.
And that’s why she’s dead.
The kitchenette, off to one side, looked largely unused, except for the coffeepot, the microwave, and the trash can, in which several pizza boxes were crammed. Maybe it was the pizza boxes that did it, that gave me a sudden pang of understanding and empathy for Linda.
The sad thing is, I think we’re supposed to take this as a sign of how empathetic Harry is – look, he’s realizing even sluts are people! Or at least, kind of like people. You know, like dogs or those tiny monkeys. Point is, he suddenly feels like maybe it was actually bad this woman had her heart explode from her chest.
And the cherry on top?
Here had lived someone else who knew that the only thing waiting at home was a sense of loneliness.
The only thing that makes the slut sort-of people is that she was miserable.
If she’d been enjoying her godless lifestyle of non-monogamy, she’d have deserved every bit of this and more. But she knew she was wrong and sinful and terrible. We can forgive her sins because they made her miserable and she knew we non-sluts were right all along, but was just too weak and pathetic to change her terrible, terrible ways. So we mourn that she never managed to redeem herself from being a disgusting slut who even, horror of horrors, purchased dildos. We do not mourn for her (because come on, sluts aren’t people) but for the person she might have become (maybe a nun or something since no decent man would want to marry used goods).
In conclusion, I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate this book.
At this point, Harry explains that Bianca told him Randall knew both victims, and was a close friend to the woman. She must have known enough to expose the killer and he killed her to prevent her from talking. They need to look into who she knows – she was the couple’s driver and live-in prostitute, maybe she still had other clients or maybe the couple were friends with similar people who borrowed her, or – wait, he’s also got this other case, this rich guy’s been hiding at this beach house and the pizza delivery boy accidentally walked in on an orgy. There can’t be that many orgies going on in Chicago, the groups probably had some overlap. Maybe that guy is trying to curry favor with more powerful people after losing his job, and one of the other people taking part is the wizard, who’s likely become rich and influential now that three-eye ™ is growing in popularity and-
No, I’m kidding, he’s going to lie and say he’s got no idea who this broad is.
Speaking of, here’s Harry’s remembrance of her:
Joking, a quick wit. A sort of sly sensuality, in the way she said her words and phrased her sentences. A little hint of insecurity around the edges, vulnerability that magnified the other parts of her personality.
Harry doesn’t mind an assertive woman, so long as he knows it’s a front for her insecurity and vulnerability. Just like Rodriguez is great because she dresses so you can appreciate her boobs but doesn’t realize she’s attractive.
“She called us,” Murphy said. “Nine one one has the call recorded. That’s how we knew to come out here. She called and said that she knew who had killed Jennifer Stanton and Tommy Tomm and that now they were coming for her. Then she started screaming.”
This is an odd bit. I don’t remember if there’s any explanation for this. The spell seems instantaneous – the screaming would have to be somehow sensing it coming, because the fact the other bodies were still in position proves you don’t have time to react to the heart removal itself. So why did she suddenly decide to tell the cops? My only guess is that the guy showed up to tell her he was going to kill her, which is even more stupid than it sounds because the only reason they don’t know who the killer is right now is that she wasted time saying Stanton and Tomm’s names rather than immediately naming the guy.
I mean, let’s consider this. If someone is going to kill you because you’re the last person who can identify them, your best bet is to tell everyone as fast as you can. You might still die from revenge, but at least it’s possible the guy will run off to try to hide instead.
Murphy, being not Harry, has called, got no answer, and then researched Randall’s employers.
“Greg and Helen Beckitt. Three years ago, their daughter, Amanda
To remind everyone, Harry’s description of them was They had the look of lifestyle professionals, the kind that have a career and no kids, with enough money and time to spend on making themselves look good-a NordicTrack couple. Again, it’s not absolutely unacceptable to have your viewpoint character who is a detective completely misread people, but it is kind of annoying, especially when there’s so little point to it.
was killed in a cross fire. Johnny Marcone’s thugs were shooting it out with some of the Jamaican gang that was trying to muscle in on the territory back then. One of them shot the little girl. She lived for three weeks in intensive care and died when they took her off life support.”
I find the life support bit weird – life support isn’t really something you have to take people off of, so there’s really no need to rush things. My best guess is that what happened is she was shot in the head and died not long after being shot, but they had machines keeping her lungs moving for three weeks after that while they first waited to see if any brain function remained and then later waited for her parents to come to term with the fact that their daughter had already died. I think we can assume the parents agreed because going the court over this would probably have delayed things much longer.
You know, speaking of, I wonder if Randall could’ve survived the heartsplosion at a hospital. I mean, not this one with its instant death leaving you in sexy poses, but in theory. Chemical coma, chill the body, have blood transfusions ready and people standing on the spot ready to clamp the severed arteries…I guess the problem is the magic burst would probably fuck up the machines. If you lose lighting, you’re not going to be able to do much of anything. And the cardiopulmonary bypass machine needs to be put in place before too long. The timing for that would be tricky.
So. Sealed mirrored lanterns on hand for the immediate post-heartsplosion clamping and the insertion of the machine’s tubes into the blood vessels. Manual pumping if it’s an option. The moment the lightbulbs flicker back on, you activate the bypass machine and hope the magic’s faded enough to let it start working. Maybe even have two on hand – if the first one chokes and dies, you redirect the tubes to the second one and try again.
Doesn’t that all sound more interesting?
Obviously, the heartsplosion could probably be an anythingspolsion, but if the guy didn’t know you’d done this, it could buy you several days time before the next storm – and if he doesn’t get feedback confirming a kill, he might even just assume his victims are dead until explicitly told otherwise. The good thing about performing an incredibly risky procedure with no idea if it even can be done is not many people will factor it into their plans.
“The Beckitts attempted to lodge a wrongful death suit against Johnny Marcone, but Marcone’s lawyers were too good. They got it thrown out before it even went to court.
Would you really have to be a very good lawyer to dodge this? I mean, to my understanding if there was solid legal evidence Marcone ran the mob and ordered people’s deaths, he’d already be in jail, and in order to argue it’s his fault the kid was dead, they’d have to first prove he’s behind these things in general and then prove that therefore he was to blame for this one in particular.
Like…
I’m pretty sure this wasn’t Marcone’s lawyer, but mostly because asteroid-living hyper chickens don’t exist yet. He’d have managed the case itself just fine.
And they never found the man who shot the little girl.
Seriously? So why the fuck are you praising the lawyers here, they couldn’t even find the guy who shot her so how in the hell could they prove Marcone was involved? Praise Marcone and his ability to hide the body, if you like, but this is looking like the easiest job any of those lawyers ever had.
Word has it that Marcone offered to pay them blood money. Make reparation. But they turned him down.”
So Harry’s just been told that there are two people who really, really hate Marcone. And he said earlier that heartsploding required hated. Harry is not thinking about this because he’s busy thinking about Randall.
Then Murphy asks what Harry can tell her, and pulls out the card he gave Randall. Hey, it’s sort of like being a fucking pathological lair backfires! You deserve this and worse, Harry.
Murphy was waiting for my answer. She wanted me to tell her something. I just wasn’t sure if she was waiting for me to tell her that a lot of people have my card, and that I didn’t know how it had gotten here, or if she wanted me to say how I had known the victim, how I had been involved with her. Then she would have to ask me questions. The kinds of questions you ask suspects.
Wait…you mean…not getting special treatment?
AHHHHHHHHHHHH LIE LIE LIE RULES ARE FOR OTHER PEOPLE HARRY IS TOO SPECIAL TO HAVE TO DO ANYTHING HE DOESN’T WANT TO DOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Of course, putting forth any effort in lying is also something Harry is too special to bother with.
“If I tell you,” I said, “that I was having a psychic premonition, would you take me seriously?”
Murphy does not exactly answer his question, which Harry takes as a yes because it wasn’t an unambiguous no and proceeds to spill his guts.
Murphy mulled over my words for a moment. “You know, Dresden,” she said, and her voice was tight, cool, furious, “if you’d sensed these things yesterday, or maybe even this morning, it’s possible that we could have talked to her. It’s possible that we could have found out something from her. It’s even possible “-and she turned to me and slammed me against the doorway with one forearm and the weight of her body, suddenly and shockingly hard-“it’s even possible,” she snarled, “that she’d still be alive.”
Guess the next line.
She stared up at my face, and she didn’t look at all like a cutesy cheerleader, now.
See, sure, the slut’s dead, but what really matters is that the cop Harry likes to perve on isn’t looking like a fuckable cheerleader. It is so, so hard being him.
He then says that he has no idea how this person he’s never met has his card.
“Godammit, Dresden,” she said. She stepped back from me and walked away, toward the bloodstained sheets. “You’re holding out on me. I know you are. I can get a warrant for your arrest. I can have you brought in for questioning.” She turned back to me. “Someone’s killed three people already. It’s my job to stop them. It’s what I do.”
This is all true.
I didn’t say anything.
Reason and guilt having both failed, Murphy makes a last ditch attempt at emotion, knowing Harry ignores women until they follow his script.
“Don’t make me choose, Harry.” Her voice softened, if not her eyes or her face. “Please.”
…
…
…
I thought about it.
…
What could it hurt? Linda Randall had called me earlier that evening. She had planned on coming to me, to talk to me. She was going to give me some information and someone had shut her up before she could.
I saw two problems with telling Murphy that.
So nope.
Let’s just keep quoting.
One, she would start thinking like a cop. It would not be hard to find out that Linda wasn’t exactly a high-fidelity piece of equipment. That she had numerous lovers on both sides of the fence. What if she and I were closer than I was admitting? What if I’d used magic to kill her lovers in a fit of jealous rage and then waited for another storm to kill her, too? It sounded plausible, workable, a crime of passion-Murphy had to know that the DA would have a hell of a time proving magic as a murder weapon, but if it had been a gun instead, it would have flown.
“No one has ever seen us together before, and I had to get almost murdered by a vampire to coincidentally get her contact info, plus I have an alibi and I was getting assaulted pursuing the case by people who didn’t want me to keep investigating. But I’m also an idiot so to me that sounds absolutely airtight. Is Murphy smarter than me? No I am the awesomest so she’d definitely think the stupid stuff my brain just shat out.”
But Harry said two reasons, because this isn’t Dresden Files if we don’t alpha male the fuck up. The second reason is simply that giving Murphy information will make her a target, in a way that publicly being in charge of this case absolutely isn’t, and besides, he’s utterly sure she won’t be able to find anything new since Harry is the only one providing info. Sure, she actually knew who Randall’s employers were and their longstanding vendetta against Marcone, but I’m not convinced Harry even registered that. He was probably thinking Murphy has a cute voice instead.
Point is, Harry is alpha male who must not tell women anything lest they try to do things, because they’ll accomplish nothing and maybe die to make Harry sad, and Harry is a traditionalist who thinks he ought to at least get a fuck a woman before she gets in his fridge.
Then, too, there was the White Council. Men like Morgan and his superiors, secure in their own power, arrogant and considering themselves above the authority of any laws but their own, wouldn’t hesitate to remove one police lieutenant who had discovered the secret world of the White Council.
I’d just like to remind everyone that Morgan is a fine and upstanding citizen who objects to manipulating the thoughts of fae despite them having no apparent standing in wizard law.
Also, this is more generally bullshit because nothing Harry has to tell her has to do with wizard law. The fact a wizard is running around like wizard law doesn’t exist does not, in any way, suggest the existence of wizard law. Other things that don’t suggest it include the fact the council isn’t involved and shows no interest in becoming so.
Harry tells us that it’s all for Murphy’s sake and lies again, and Murphy decides she is completely done with this. She even did his goddamn fluttery eyes please. Now she says the police need to ask him some questions and he should come to the station with them.
Nope, says Harry. Busy doing my hair.
“Tomorrow morning, then,” she said.
“We’ll see,” I said.
“If you aren’t there in the morning,” Murphy said, “I’m going to ask for a warrant.”
It’s so hard being Harry, having consequences for being a lying asshole eventually catch up with you!
Her partner gets in his way. It doesn’t say, but I think he’s contemplating punching Harry in his smug mouth and hauling him down to the station right now.
“Let him go, Ron,” Murphy said. Her tone of voice was disgusted, but I could hear the hurt underneath it.
This is probably true.
I just don’t think it’s the hurt of how oh nooo her friend isn’t answering her questions and what if he’s the real killer :(
I think it’s having to put up with this entire thing in the first place.
It’s not enough that plenty of her fellow cops don’t respect her, that her boss stuck her in this job solely to ruin her career and get rid of her. No, she has to have civilians grind her face in the fact they don’t think she’s a real cop either. Her partner, as Harry reminds us each time he appears, is a slobby disaster, but he still gets a thousand times the respect Harry gives her. Harry. The guy who’s only got a place to live because she keeps hiring him, even as the rest of the force sneers at how she relies on a “psychic consultant” to do her job. Harry, who she has to beg and plead with to get him to actually do that job, who hits on her every other sentence and lies to her every change he gets. Harry, who she just drove home, put into bed and gave money because he said he was broke.
And she knows this will never change will never get better will never ever stop. People will always treat her as a woman in a cop outfit.
She tells Harry that, if he did do this, she will find a way to get him for it.
I did understand, really. I understood the pressure she was under, her frustration, her anger, and her determination to stop the killing from happening again. If I was some kind of hero from a romance novel, I’d have said something brief and eloquent and heartrending.
“And if I was a minimally decent person, I’d say I was sorry.”
But I’m just me, so I said, “I do understand, Karrin.” because there is nothing like refusing to obey a cop for her own good and then deciding it’s time for first names.
And I walked away from Murphy, who I couldn’t talk to, and from Linda, who I couldn’t protect, my head aching, weary to my bones, and feeling like a total piece of shit.
Fuck him and fuck this book.
Well, at least he acknowledges he’s a terrible piece of shit.
But what IS it with this book and describing every single woman based on bangability? I mean, yes, it’s a trend to describe women as “pretty” and “ugly”, but I don’t think I’ve seen a case of someone using sexual terms so frequently. He NEVER describes a woman without talking about whether or not she is sexually attractive. He won’t even branch out into other sexist branches! There’s no young looking girl he wants to be a father of. There’s no elderly woman baking him brownies. There’s no little girl being the beacon of all innocence only to get killed because of fucking course she is.
Every female – and I say female because even fucking non-human females are included – in this book is spoken about in relation to her sexual attractiveness to Harry.
“There’s no young looking girl he wants to be a father of.”
That and wanting to fuck said woman are not mutually exclusive, as far as sexist stereotypes are concerned. It’s actually surprisingly common to infantilize (sp?) love interests for some weird reason.
So, hey, maybe we’ll see that in the future!
There are at least two girls I can recall from future books, though I can’t remember their descriptions. One of them (who is actually centuries old, though you would be excused for forgetting it) is in relationship with her father.
Something to look forward to, I guess.
It’s his way of screaming “No Homo!” and then he goes to play with the naked sword guy.
We’re forgetting the precious little moppet who died so Marcone could weep over her lifeless, yet pretty, body.
Don’t forget about Ivy!
I actually meant her and that one Denarian girl.
There is apparently a bunch of other underage girls whom I forgot on account of reading the books a long time ago and not committing them to memory that much.
Well, something to look forward to, shall Farla do the whole series.
It’s actually surprisingly common to infantilize (sp?) love interests for some weird reason.
What’s really surprising is Harry seems to barely do this. He claims he’s chivalrous, not sexist, but then cheerfully agrees the women around him are smart and tough while viewing their fuckability as the most important factor and treating them like shit.
My best guess is infantilizing involves effort. Harry doesn’t want to be a dad looking out for anyone or working out what’s best for them. He just wants a fuck. If one of the fuck-dispensers dies, it’s sad, but there’s other vaginas in the city.
Well, there is a like, 10-12 year old girl Harry will meet later in the book, but all he’ll say is that her eyes “seem older,” which, please, Harry, don’t.
…That’s it. I’m done. I refuse to accept this is anything other than an elaborate troll. I’ve read his interviews. I could believe it. He wrote this to spite his teacher, so maybe he’s just gone on to troll everyone else.
I mean, I am pretty sure the little girl was not being sexualized, and that it was legitimate suffering that made her eyes look “old” or whatever. But I have forgotten much of the passage.
I shall now imagine that girl (whom I don’t remember) like that:
http://www.adventuresinpoortaste.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/uzumaki_pottery_woman_face.png
To the right.
Seems legit.
The girl is Monica Sells’s daughter. She asks Harry if he’s going to kill her dad (who is obviously the villain, I don’t consider it a spoiler, the two seemingly unrelated cases in a noirrative are always related). He tries not to tell her “yes” straight-up. And he avoids eye contact because he doesn’t want to know why she’s such a hardcore prepubescent kid.
I love that manga.
I’ve heard he later ends up with a jailbait girl in love with him!
A year late, but:
He does! It’s his best friend’s Michael’s daughter! He sexualises her too. But the books totes “get better” about the whole sexism thing. For reals.
He does! It’s his best friend’s Michael’s daughter!
…Harry has friends ?
To be fair, Michael is on a mission from God and is supposed to be good at all times and to all people who aren’t obviously murderous.
As such, I headcanon it as Michael tolerating Harry on account of Harry being not quite crossing the final line, while Harry mistakes it for friendship.
I’ve seen excerpts, eventually Harry acts as a father figure to a friend’s teenage daughter who he’s known since she was a kid, but he talks about her sex appeal, too. :(
Oh, yes, I forgot about her. Yep, I want to see Farla’s reaction on her storyline. That shall make doing all the books worthwhile.
“Then, too, there was the White Council. Men like Morgan and his
superiors, secure in their own power, arrogant and considering
themselves above the authority of any laws but their own, wouldn’t
hesitate to remove one police lieutenant who had discovered the secret
world of the White Council.”
…Yer a wizard, Harry. And more importantly, Murphy knows it. She also knows there is at least one other magic user around on account of heartsplosions. And she’s in the “freaky shit” department, which would suggest she has seen some freaky shit.
It’s kinda obvious from her perspective that there is an organization of magic users since Harry had to get his knowledge from somewhere, and it’s simply in human nature to seek company of those who share our interests.
She doesn’t necessary imagine White Men Council, specifically, a global organization claiming authority over all magic users worldwide and upholding laws of its own making, she could be thinking about something closer to gangs or subculture groups, but I don’t see why it’s so dangerous for her to know.
She already knows there are wizards around, she already knows they can do shit that the police can’t deal with on its own (while she probably can catch the culprit in this case eventually, just imagine if she was dealing with a magic serial killer who kills for the sake of killing).
What’s so different about the Council?
Anyway, about heartsplosions. It occured to me that the killing spree would’ve been creepier without them. Instead, imagine people just freezing in place, dead.
So, the first two victims die during sex, if we must have the sex scene. It provides a better justification for that narrative choice where Harry first notices boobs and only then a gaping hole. Without any damage to the bodies, what he sees first is a scene from an amateur porn. Only then he freaks out because holy shit they don’t move they just stare into space they are dead.
The next victim dies with a sandwich halfway to the mouth, then another in the middle of a walk.
People just live their lives and then suddenly don’t, becoming static images.
Bonus points if they can’t be moved and can’t be interacted with because the spell used to kill them makes the reality itself reject them. They don’t belong to this world anymore, and any interactions with them become more and more difficult. Eventually, they fade away from view, becoming nothing.
And then Harry finds they are not dead, they just can’t interact with the real world either and can’t even move from the place where the spell found them.
What’s so different about the Council?
Well, there is the fact that they’re an operating well outside the existing legal framework. Murphy doesn’t strike me as pleased with the system of compromising with Marcone and letting him police organized crime, so she likely wouldn’t be okay with letting wizards police wizards. At the very least, she’d want to have some sort of communication and know they weren’t just murdering people left and right. And I think the council is very attached to their ability to do whatever the fuck they want, and if that means murdering any mundane who might ruin that, so be it.
Nothing that happens in this books makes sense.
First of all, why the hell would the culprit heartsplode Randall? He thought she was going to tell, and he had to wait for a storm to do it. Is there some rule that once you heartsplode, you can only do that to murder people? If he wanted her dead, he’d take a gun and shoot her. The only reason he magicked to start with was to confuse the police and (possibly) frame Harry, but they’re already on his trail so that doesn’t matter anymore. In fact, making the crime seem unrelated is probably the way to throw them off.
On top of that, there are just too many threads here that are too loosely connected. You have magic heartsplosions, non-magic mobsters, vampires, fairies, orgies, etc, and they’re all connected way too loosely to feel coherent. None of it leads logically from one point tot he next. We’ll be introduced to a new plot thread, be told the character is loosely associated with the main crime, and then move on to the next one. The plotting is a mess.
Usually, the way the “informant gets killed” plotline goes is like, Detective meets Informant, who knows nothing, early in the story. Later in the story, the informant has stumbled upon critical information independent of the detective’s efforts, and calls the detective (who usually tries to get them into protective custody) to tell them they have the information, at which point they get killed in a manner that helps the detective uncover the truth after inspecting the body or asking further questions about the new victim.
But the way it’s done here doesn’t make sense. Linda Randall knew almost everything from the beginning. When she finally calls Harry it sounds more like a booty call than anything. There’s no tension to it, except in the “oh god I’m unlucky with women and a woman is coming over” sense.
If this were logically plotted, the murderer would rely on heartsploding because it’s the only magical killing method he knows, and he can’t go in person with a gun for some reason (too far away, doesn’t drive and can’t get a good bus at that time of night, gets sick at the sight of blood, evs). One of my big peeves with bad mystery writing is that excess reliance on a single murder method probably isn’t a clue but is just because the author got “killer does the heartsploding thing” stuck in his head.
HarryMorgan, the better protagonist: You have me now. Can you indulge a dying man and answer just one question?Culprit: You want to ask why I did it?
Morgan: No, no, I think I worked out that part. I want to know… Why explode their hearts? It’s not the most efficient method, it’s not the most painful one, it’s not the one of least resistance… Is it symbolic? Does it mean something to you or your victims?
Culprit: Huh? No, not really.
Morgan: Then why?
Culprit: Heartsplosions are so cool!
Morgan: You should try swords. shank
If he wanted her dead, he’d take a gun and shoot her.
You’re assuming he has a gun, can use the gun, and can do it without leaving incriminating evidence. Right now all they know is a guy heartsploded one set of people and did it again, but they have absolutely no idea who he is and even if they did would have trouble proving it to a jury.
“Men like Morgan and his superiors, secure in their own power,
arrogant and considering themselves above the authority of any laws but
their own”
I’d just like to point that it’s Harry “Alpha Male of Alpha Males Purely Because He’s a Mary Sue” Dresden saying this.
That’s why! Only Harry is above the law!
“wouldn’t hesitate to remove one police lieutenant who had discovered the secret world of the White Council.”
Okay, where did THIS come from? This is the first time we’ve gotten any hint that magic or anything about it is secret in any way. And how is it that Harry advertises as a wizard in the phone book and doesn’t run afoul of that rule? Or is it supposed to be that magic’s not a secret, but the council that controls all magic users is? That might work if there was any conceivable reason for it.
Epic worldbuilding fail YET AGAIN.
This part of the semi-Masquerade really doesn’t make sense, because if magic does exist, and mundane folk are aware/afraid of it, then you really want to advertise a ruling body with laws, that is ready to enforce them against rogue/dark wizards. I have no idea why the White Council would let magic as a whole be known, but not their own existence. That’s encouraging shit like witch hunts, because they’re not telling the Muggles “Don’t worry, we got this, if someone starts heartsploding people we’ll be the first ones investigating it.”
Rather than Harry being some random semi-dark wizard on probation with the Council, he should even be some sort of semi-official representative of them, and he can’t help Murphy as much as he’d like because he’s only got so much authority and the Council regulates his actions as strictly as they would a criminal’s. Instead he’s like a foot away from death-by-naked-steel for fairly stupid reasons, so he tiptoes around an unreasonable masquerade.
“Rather than Harry being some random semi-dark wizard on probation with
the Council, he should even be some sort of semi-official representative
of them, and he can’t help Murphy as much as he’d like because he’s
only got so much authority and the Council regulates his actions as
strictly as they would a criminal’s.”
“I’m sorry, Murphy. You need Green clearance to learn about heartsplosions.”
“What clearance am I?”
“You don’t have a clearance to know it.”
“How do I advance my clearance level?”
“I don’t have a clearance to know it.”
“What’s your clearance?”
“Yellow.”
“You can tell me that but now my level?”
“You only need Red clearance to know mine.”
“…How do you get anything done in this system?”
“I don’t.”
Nah, he shouldn’t say “You only need Red clearance to know mine,” because that implies too much about Murphy’s level of clearance. He needs to say “At Yellow clearance I can divulge my own level of clearance.” It tells us nothing.
Fair enough. Though Red is just above Infrared, and that Murphy can speak with Dresden at all implies she has at least that.
I mean yeah, but the way the clearance is set up at all provides too much information as it is. Murphy’s a detective herself; presumably she can make basic inferences. It needs to be as uselessly opaque as possible.
What if Infrared is the clearance it takes to know Yellow clearance? Then it doesn’t narrow it down further than that she’s not Yellow.
Alternatively, you’re allowed to tell people your own clearance assuming you know it, but to be told your current clearance you need a higher clearance.
No, but it does let her know that she’s Infrared or higher. That’s telling her too much.
But yes, I like the second part. Needing a higher clearance than you have to be told your own clearance sounds like just the thing.
Alternatively, when Murphy questions the system, she’s immediately zapped because she’s a mutant communist traitor.
Well, that actually depends on which mode you are playing – classic, zap! or straight, but, given how killing a demon is a proof you summoned a demon, I guess zap! mode is appropriate.
“Paranoia” has any mode other than “zap!”? :-P
Hey, classic mode is fine. It gives players more rope to hang themselves and allows for more elaborate and insane scenarios.
Straight mode is harder to pull off since it requires more immersion than people are typically willing to go for in such a game, but, hey, it allows you to play “Memoirs Found in a Bathtub”, so I can’t object to it.
Full disclosure: I’ve only ever played “Paranoia” during its West End Games editions, so I don’t actually know what are the differences between Classic, Straight and Zap!. The name “Zap!” just seemed like a very appropriate one for “Paranoia” games. :-)
Zap! is an exaggerated mode where screaming “commie!” is enough justification to kill your party member. It is intended for quick games where you don’t put much effort into what you are doing.
Straight mode is where you attempt to play Alpha complex as a genuine distopia, with people being stuck in an awful situation with an insane AI in charge and trying to adapt. It is intended for full immersion and, obviously, is more serious in tone than is typical for the game. There is some dark humor, naturally, but it’s mostly tragedy. Think Brazil by Terry Gilliam.
Classic can be described as something in-between the two. The intent here is to balance the silliness and seriousness. It’s a bit hard to describe, but basically you are attempting to create a simple story where everyone involved has clear goals which thei attempt to reach using actual logic, only to get interrupted by the reality of Alpha Complex.
Well, other than Straight, you’ve basically described the original editions of the game. :-) Most “Paranoia” games were basically a mix of Zap! and Classic.
Yes, XP edition just saw merit to add the classification so potential players and GMs would have more material to plan their games.
I do actually consider the “How to run this game” segments to be important. It can be hard to parse how to approach a new game, and developers’ thoughts on the matter can help you get ideas and tune the game more to your liking.
They aren’t that needed by experienced players, but it’s still nice to read a thoughtful advice.
Indeed! If the original D&D set had one of those, the game would have probably evolved in a very different way.
The Masquerade tends to be the weakest part of any urban fantasy, but here it’s especially painful since Masquerade technically doesn’t exist: nobody protects the secrecy of magic in general, just the Council.
It would work better if they were an Illuminati-style secret society, looking only after its members. Then their desire to not be known would be understandable as the perceived lack of organization among wizards would allow them to act more freely since no one would look for connections between various magic-related events.
But no, they are supposed to be the magical government, and it’s actually a plot point in later book that the lack of knowledge about them among magic users makes their work harder.
Since Murphy knows Dresden is a wizard, and she found him somehow, maybe she should do that thing again and find a better wizard.
Unless, of course, she found him because he hit on her in some public place, and it’s just a coincidence that his skillz would be useful if he stopped lying, developed common sense, and deployed them.
Murphy might have found him because he’s in the Yellow Pages as “Wizard.”
But my headcanon is that she looked through some other public records looking for a wizard, found a guy who had 3 magicians in his name (Harry, Blackstone, Copperfield), and said his name aloud, accidentally conjuring him out of thin air, at which point he decided to haunt her.
This is why Harry, in his self-introduction early in the novel and/or at the end, says “conjure by it at your own risk,” because Murphy did it and never experienced another moment of peace. That’s just my headcanon, though.
Wizards are like supernatural pests. Once they are in your house, nothing can get rid of them.
Or maybe she summoned him when she sat in front of a candlelit mirror in a dark room, and uttered the chant to call forth the dreaded entity 13 times:
“Mary Sue!”
Your head canon has the merit of explaining how Murphy ended up with a professional relationship that fits the profile for emotional abuse. Dresden withholds information to “protect” her bug actually to prevent her from having options other than him.
I am sorry to say that the number of professional relationships in the real world which fit the profile for emotional abuse is not zero.
And Dresden has the nerve to be pissed when people don’t pick up on his wizardry work right away.
I will never, ever, ever stop doing these.
“One, she would start thinking like a cop. It would not be hard to find out that Morgan wasn’t exactly a high-fidelity piece of equipment. That he had numerous lovers on both sides of the fence. What if he and I were closer than I was admitting? What if I’d used magic to kill his lovers in a fit of jealous rage and then waited for another storm to kill him, too? It sounded plausible, workable, a crime of passion-Murphy had to know that the DA would have a hell of a time proving magic as a murder weapon, but if it had been a gun instead, it would have flown.”
I . . . . basically changed nothing about this passage. Seriously, I changed names and pronouns and nothing else, and the whole thing became more homoerotic than anything I could generate. I think that the “lovers on both sides of the fence” bit makes it art.
I am not sure if I should feel proud or embarrassed over starting that joke, so I will do both.
Not a bad paragraph for it.
You’ve created a monster. Well, you are already a monster, so it’s more like you’ve just begotten more monsters.
What if he and I were closer than I was admitting?
I bet Murphy has asked herself some questions about the tall sword guy following “I just have no luck with women” around.
“Linda, who I couldn’t protect”
“Couldn’t protect” in the sense of “Didn’t lift a finger to protect, once I could be bothered to lift a finger on the investigation I’m getting paid for.”
I think “protect” was supposed to be written “fuck,” given Harry’s attitude when he thought she was alive.
Yes, it makes a lot more sense that way.
It was “couldn’t bother to protect” in the original draft.
Even reading it second handed is tiring me out. ***Anita Blake was better.*** It’s not a sentence to be typed lightly but it’s obvious by now. AB at least had a good thing going before it sank to shit.
My main question here is that why are you so determined to chase after an aneurysm? I don’t get this, it seems to be the theme on this blog here to find bad things to hate, but what for? Is Dresden gonna pull a 180 later on to retroactively make everything awesome so it’ll be worth the bother in the end? I’d understand the need to obsessively gripe at the bad parts of things you generally love or trying to draw out the diamonds out of the crap for a thing you’re undecided on, but hating on the fully hateable thing once it’s determined to be %100 shit for the sake of hatred is incomprehensible. Why not just drop the crap and find something which might maybe be good instead? You have a mountain of stuff on your recommendation pages, the chances are very good that at least a few would be less aneurysm inducing than Dresden. Is this some form of Stockholm syndrome? You’re not even getting paid for entertaining random internet people with your anger, I don’t get why you’re making yourself suffer. I do not compute.
There is an attraction in hatred. I’ve read a few books just so I can scorn at them and point out all of their flaws and laugh.
It’s surprisingly cathartic.
Oh, “The Masquerade” by Rijikov (not sure how to transliterate the name), how I loath thee. The book combines unashamed plagiarism of “Vampire: the Masquerade”* with fucking all over the setting, giving the characters Mary Sue powers and making the protagonist completely unlikable in five pages, tops, on account of casually killing a bunch of people and laughing about it. Note: he’s supposed to be sympathetic.
Plus, Dresden Files are popular, so it’s a good idea to provide critique to it just for the sake of contrast if nothing else.
I am sure Farla reads stuff she actually enjoys in-between entertaining the Internet with delicious hatred.
*Fun fact: while technically Russia does recognize copyright law of foreign right holders, nobody gives a shit if you rip off foreign media as long as you don’t try to publish the results outside Russia.
Aside from Rijikov, we have Panov who used Camarilla, Sabbath and clan names in his novels, we have a novelization of Legend of Zelda written by some girl (I don’t remember her age, just so it was ridiculously low, like eight years or something) and published back when the media was lauding Eragon and such, we have a very open rip off of Harry Potter which started as a parody and then evolved into its own thing.
And probably a bunch of other stuff I am forgetting.
***Anita Blake was better.***
Let’s not go overboard. Anita Blake was less hateful and had better ideas, but the writing was absolutely terrible.
I don’t get this, it seems to be the theme on this blog here to find bad things to hate, but what for?
I first encountered these books because they’d been recommended over and over and over across the internet, sometimes with a caveat that there was sexism, but it was entirely a character flaw of Harry’s and he grows to overcome it. I then read them, and it turned out responding to this with, “No, actually they’re just regular misogyny,” wasn’t good enough and people wanted a dissertation.
So here’s my dissertation.
That’s why the rule for suggestions is that it can’t be widely reviled. There’s no point in agreeing with everyone, but there is a point in finding flaws in something people are arguing are good.