Right, so I’ve done a wholly optional sidequest at Sea Mauville in the hopes of clearing my head while a meteor looms ever-closer. It’s obvious what I should do next.

Time to go back and see if the clear bell activates! Ominous meteors hanging in the sky are nature’s way of saying it’s sidequesting time.Up the side!

The Clear Bell in your Bag seems to be glowing faintly…

Nothing more. Maybe I need to go higher.

Higher.

Wait what.

What.

Also, that’s not really a ring, Narrator. It’s more a vortex.

A mystical presence seems to be lurking within it… Would you like to examine it?

Sure! If it was ghosts or something I’d be worried, but the clear bell is pokemon related, and if it’s a pokemon, I can catch it and bind it to my will.

And…Ho-oh pops out? What? Also we’re in the world of pink clouds now? How did we get here from black and vortex?

And it starts tearing my pokemon apart with punishment. Not a happy camper, evidently.

Then I’m standing outside the ring again, which is back to being sideways, and Lucki refuses to step through.

Well, time to tell everyone this pokemon habitat is so great even legendaries and mysterious rings like it.

You delivered that Scanner for me! Thanks again! I heard about it from Captain Stern. He just contacted me a little while ago. It seems that when he checked the data on the Scanner, he got high-energy readings never seen in the Pokemon native to Hoenn!

…so you’re looking for the most efficient pokemon to shovel into the furnaces?

I’m not sure what it all means, but it sure is exciting! The thrill of research!

The scientist’s version of “just following orders”.

Well. It seems like it’s genocide all day every day, so…we might as well use it to power a giant laser to save the pokemon who haven’t already been shoveled in, I guess?

To Dewford, since I apparently have no better options…

OH HEY IT’S THE GIRL WHO HASN’T YET BEEN CONFIRMED TO BE RUNNING PIKACHU FURNACES UNLIKE APPARENTLY EVERY OTHER NPC!

Also is that a meteor I spy on the wall there? Or rayquaza? HMMMM.

Hm, hm, hm. Well, seems like it’s true. It really is just like the wall painting there. This one shows Primal Reversion… While that one shows Mega Evolution…

How can you tell? How is there even any difference?

I guess that proves it once and for all. Our great ancestors once lived here, too. The ancestors who passed down through me the knowledge of how to protect the world… How to avert the threat that will appear from space, as long was foretold… From a place higher even than the heavens…

…Mum? says the whismur, not sure why Mommy is talking to a wall.

What is it, Aster? A question mark then appears above her head as she notices me. Oh? We do seem to meet an awful lot, Lucki. Are you also interested in this old painting? Or are you here for the other? For one of the Meteorite Shards that can serve as a source of power for the Legendary Pokemon that lives in the heavens above.

Uh. Yes! Yes, the meteorite stuff is for that thing and not the genocide beam. Hahaha what other plan would I have? Definitely that good one and not some really horrible idea or anything.

Either way… You know I adore you.

I like you too, person who seems considerate and like she’s not involved in pikachu furnaces! Plus, nice cape.

That’s it! I can’t help it! I have to battle you!

Uh – wait, shit, I don’t have my real team on me!

I’ll play nice, though, and ask first… You’re ready to battle me, right?

I’m not but I can’t admit that, I’d look like an idiot!

That’s my girl! Now let’s do it! Give me a good taste of everything you and your Pokemon have to offer!

Is there any way of reading this that isn’t her hitting on you?

She leads with a L55 tyrantrum. I’ve got a L41 sceptile. Leaf blade?

oh god I’m doomed.

Luckily, I saved beforehand.

Right, so for real this time, I bring Groudon so I can show her how great I am. On the way in, a L10 zubat buzzes me and we epicly overreact with primal Groudon and blazing sun and all on some little flappy bat.

Also wow she looks feral in her animation. Least sexualized tiny shorts.

So! L51 Groudon vs L55 tyrantrum EARTHQUAKE VICTORY!!!

She wants to send out an altaria next (ooooooooooooh I get it Ember) so I decide to show off how I also got Latios, even if he is eleven levels lower. He manages to outspeed her and use dragon breath, getting a lucky paralysis, then survives the retaliatory dragon pulse. He doesn’t survive the second one. Ho-oh time!

(Ho-oh’s moveset is sunny day, fire blast, sacred fire, and punishment. Could probably make an even more VENGEFUL GOD moveset, but it’s pretty good.)

Punishment faints the altaria. Next is a L55 salamance, so back to Groudon. Lava plume with burn?

Yes, lava plume with burn. I then have Groudon lava plume it to death, type resistance be damned, because type resistance won’t save you from a god!

Yes! That’s it! That’s just what I was looking for!

If you’d like, you’re welcome to take Groudon. I guess you had some sort of plan for it?

Niiice! Real nice, Lucki! Ohhh, I really felt that one! Full points to you! That settles it! You get this Meteorite Shard as a reward!

And I get a cool item out of it!

A questionmark bubbles out of her head when she sees Lucki’s butt glow like a firefly. That glittering Meteorite that you’ve got there… Hmm… It’s sure giving off some vibes. I’d keep a tight hold on it if I were you, along with that shard I just gave you.

She starts to leave, then pauses and turns to me with the most meaningful look ever.

… she says.

Are they based on the ideals you cling to? Or are they based on actual truths?

NEITHER I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING I TRIED FOLLOWING TEAM MAGMA AND THAT DIDN’T WORK EITHER PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE A PLAN

RIGHT NOW I’M GETTING TOLD WHAT TO DO BY POKENAZIS HELP

And if they are… How much of the truth do you think you know?

Apparently everything is soylent pokemon and everyone knows and doesn’t care? Or maybe they just want me to think everyone’s okay with it? I don’t know!

(I wonder if maybe originally the “btw genocide beam lol” was supposed to be revealed as Devon’s thing after this scene? Because I already know I don’t know! I didn’t even want to be doing this, I just didn’t know how else to solve it and no one seemed at all interested in an alternative non-genocide plan.)

….Mum? asks the whismur.

Yes, ma’am! Moving out! Such a spoiled girl you are, Aster… So what’ll be our next stop, hmm, sweetie?

And they rush off.

The Entry Call (Ver. 0.09) app rang on your PokeNav Plus!

Go away Steven I have a new NPC friend and she probably doesn’t run any pikachu furnaces at all.

Steven: …Lucki.
Steven: Were you able to find the Meteorite Shard that we need?

No it was stolen by molemen sorry never talk to me again.

Steven: If you were able to secure it, could you hurry back to us at the Mossdeep Space Center?
Steven: I’m afraid we don’t have much time left…
Steven: …I’ll be waiting for you.
…Kzt!

Right, so, Lucki, if we run fast maybe we can catch up with her and do something that isn’t based entirely on genocide instead.