Bit more of a mix than usual.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11735990/1/Rise-of-a-Legend

[The Pidgey’s were chirping,  ]

Don’t use apostrophes for plurals.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[The only reason that Ash did not run away was due to the presence of Prof. Birch, who was excitingly explaining why freebies and its evolutionary line Milotic does not consummate in captivity. ]

You desperately need to proofread your writing.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

[ I am absolute pants at writing fighting scene.  ]

Then maybe don’t write a ton of pointless pokemon battles.

Two, one minor crit.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11736001/1/Mirror-Me

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

“Your” is possessive, “you’re” is short for “you are”.

[“M-mom?!” Ash managed to stutter out. He knew that it wasn’t his mother, but still seeing a women that looked just like her dressed up like she was… It put Ash off.
The women instantly scowled as Ash said this, “Ash,” She snarled, voice dripping with hatred, which made Ash recoiled, “So it is you!”]

Okay, so this is interesting, but it really should be happening near the start of your chapter, not the tail end. You don’t need to spend the first half of your story on Ash and Serena talking about his upcoming mirrorverse plans or Ash talking to himself about his mirrorverse plans. You can deal with those things in a line or two and then get on with the actual story.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11736057/1/AV-and-Match-versus-The-World

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[Muddy ears perked a bit and his eyes rose slightly.
“I bet you haven’t had anything to drink in a while. You must be thirsty what with this summer heat. Come over here.” I opened the bottle and offered it to him.
Man was that Vulpix fast. He leapt over to me and was immediately guzzling water from the bottle like there was no tomorrow. I couldn’t help the slight smile that crept onto my face. It was cute.]

But not something that makes much sense.

Vulpix are fire types. Being wet and muddy means that there should be entirely too much water already for it, and that should be a much bigger problem than hunger and thirst. Even if it wasn’t, a muddy hole is by definition one where there’s water, even if it’s not particularly pleasant water.

If you really want it to be a vulpix, muddy holes don’t have to stay muddy. A pokemon could slip down into a muddy hole that dries up and still be trapped there, at which point it makes more sense that it’d be miserable and hungry instead of at death’s door and it’s reasonable that it’d be thirsty too.

[I sighed again. Really. Was it so odd that I didn’t want to spend my childhood running around the region throwing my Pokémon into battles? ]

It kinda still is when it’s a free pass from having to go to school. I can believe there’s some kids who even still wouldn’t want to be a trainer, but you need to justify that she’s one of them instead of just having her be annoyed at the idea of being a trainer.

[You can’t exactly get TV reception for your favourite anime when you’re on the road.]

Except that she gets free lodging at pokecenters, which have TVs, as well as electricity in general so she can plug in anything she wants to bring with her. Strictly speaking, she only has to walk as far as the nearest one and she can then spend her time hanging out there doing whatever she feels like. That seems like it’d be pretty appealing given you say she’s spent her time not at school studying but running wild with pranks and the fact that apparently she loves pokemon but just isn’t into the battling thing.

[What are you going to do with the Vulpix?” he asked, his laughter finally tapering off to chuckling.
“Bath.” I stated immediately. “For us both. Hey Pepper?”]

Seriously why did you pick a vulpix for this plotline.

[ “I can get my parents to find you a home if you want, you’re too young to be in the wild on your own, or…”
I hesitated. This was a big decision to make after all. It would change everything about my life and probably make my parents push even more.]

And this doesn’t seem like it actually would change much given you’ve said this one is a tiny baby. It can’t be her starter any time soon.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11736229/1/Double-Trouble-1-Okina-Kyodai

[“Somethin’ wrong, Jimmy?” Meowth questioned. ]

“Questioned” is something police do to suspects. You shouldn’t be using it like it just means “asked”.

And generally, just use said.

Don’t label flashbacks.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Semicolons should only ever be used when connecting two complete sentences and even then almost never.

[Hun! Okina kyodai, wait for me, please!” James pled, hurrying to try and keep up to the older child.
“If I slow down for you, otouto, how will you ever get better?!” Hun called back at the younger. James started at this. That was actually a good point. Determination renewed—after all, he needed to win the approval of his keiteishima]

No. You’re writing this in English, write in English.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11736455/1/The-Troublesome-Color-Green

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[“Chi?” A soft answer came from a thicket in the outskirts of the clearing, and something stirred inside. The reactions from the five Chikorita were immediate. And aggressive. The leader, top of the hierarchy, the emerald beauty of pent up talent sent a flurry of razor leaves towards the sound. The mother did nothing. A small cry of “ka” was the only response from the undergrowth. May tried to stifle a gasp, but not entirely successful, she alerted the pokemon to her presence. The mother decided to move, and her litter followed to the other side of the meadow. From the bushes emerged a sixth Chikorita, with shaky steps and a shivering form, even in the heat of the day. It was weak, and sick, and everything a baby pokemon should not be. But this was nature, in which a parent protected the strong offspring, the safe bet. In nature, siblings competed for the parents affection, to enhance the chance of survival. There was no place for an outcast in this world.  ]

Uh, not really.

Nature is that parents want to maximize their number of offspring. That means that if you have to move or all of the babies are in danger, but one of them will be left behind, you don’t risk the rest for the one. It doesn’t mean you preemptive get rid of the one, and in most cases, parents will try to keep the weaker ones alive as long as they can, both because there’s a chance it’ll get stronger and they’ll end up with six adult offspring rather than five and because in the event of actual danger, it’ll distract predators instead of one of their more valuable kids.

For the same reason, the other chikorita have no reason to want to get rid of this one. It’s like that joke about not needing to outrun something, you just need to outrun the slowest other guy. In the event a predator shows up, they want as many others around as possible because that means less individual danger, and if one is obviously weaker than the rest, great, now it’s not a random 1/6 chance of death because it’s almost certain that the weak chikorita will be the target.

In order for there to be aggression between siblings, they have to be competing for something. That’s why some mammal babies push out the runt, because that means more milk for them, but these are dinosaur plants, so that seems unlikely, and they’re playing around. There’s really no reason either the parent or the babies would reject one just because it’s weak.

The only possible reason for ostracizing it is that it’s sick and keeping it away will reduce the risk of the others getting sick as well, and that’s actually kinda rare, maybe because a lot of illness either only hits on the already weakened so the healthier ones don’t have much to fear or because exposure to disease is necessary to have a good immune system later on or just because by the time it’s obvious they’ve all been infected and removal does nothing.

In other words, the most that’d make sense here is the mom getting upset by May’s existence and leading her babies away with one of them being too sick to keep up. Even then it’s a bit weird the mom wouldn’t turn back to attack if the baby was still able to make distress calls but maybe plausible given pokemon trainers don’t function on usual predator rules and so would likely aim for the most healthy baby or even the mother herself.

[May shrugged her backpack off her shoulders, and started every treatment she knew, hoping that something would work. ]

Except she’s a pokemon trainer who could catch it and bring it to someone more qualified. This isn’t just a sick chikorita, it’s so pathetic the exertion of trying to escape her made it pass out. It needs to be in intensive care. If you want May to have to deal with it herself, you need to think a lot about how to set things up so that’s her only option.

Two, one crit but it’s crit saying For the line “May could see how it wanted to cower in fear, but it could not give up…” might be better written if a colon connects the “could not give up” and “soon the siblings would be out of sight…” Colons can be used when the next attached sentence (“Soon the siblings would be out of sight…”) explains or specifies what came in the sentence right before (“But it could not give up.). Replacing “and” with the colon would make it not feel like a run-on sentence. 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11736561/1/Saving-a-Lot-of-Data

If you’re doing something that’s supposed to be a diary, then actually write it like a diary rather than transcribing every boring event and exact dialogue of trivial conversations the main character obviously doesn’t care about.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

I’m really not sure what made you think the best fit for your nuzlocke grimdeath setup was vague snark and joke pokemon.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11736705/1/The-Journey-Ahead

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

It’s “okay”, four letters.

I don’t know why you’re posting Fire Emblem fanfic here. If it ever does have to do with pokemon stuff, then it belongs in crossovers.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11736775/1/Definition

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[He opened his mouth to protest, but she shot him down with a glare that would make a Dusknoir stop in its tracks. “Don’t you dare deny it, you know it’s true. And if the only reason you’re denying it is because I always win, that’s besides the point. Winning isn’t everything Calem. If you ask me, making the longest stand, giving it your all the whole battle, which you do, is the measure of a good trainer.” ]

As nicely meant as this pep talk may be, it rings kind of hollow when the person who apparently has never lost at all is saying winning isn’t everything. It’d be one thing if she just generally did better than him, but you have her state that the only person she’s ever met who she can’t beat effortlessly is him, and he’s never beat her, therefore she’s somehow never lost a single time.

Really, this whole thing would flow much better if she wasn’t completely unstoppable and if he’d beaten her a few times but was feeling down because she was generally better at things.

[Pidgeyotto ]

Also, look up how to spell things if you’re not sure of them.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11736853/1/Appearances-Can-Be-Decieving

[“It’s not like a hate Zekrom and Reshiram or anything,” Kyurem told himself “I mean, I guess that’s why Hydreigons don’t have brains in their arms, otherwise all three heads would try to do different things at the same time.” ]

“like a hate” is nonsense and you presumably meant “I”.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[What he once held pridefully as the strongest dragon in the world was stripped away just as quickly. Instead, it was now given to Rayquaza ever since he rediscovered his Mega Evolution.  ]

That doesn’t actually make any sense chronologically. The fact the games unveil new information doesn’t mean those retcons should be treated as new information to the characters themselves.

“Your” is possessive, “you’re” is short for “you are”.

Three.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11736869/1/Steps-Between-Us

[ I thought, maybe things will be better off this way. ]

Thoughts follow the same capitalization rules as dialogue.

[I don’t usually go around walking in pretty girls.” ]

Into, I’d assume.

Two.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11736890/1/When-Secrets-Make-Friends

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

[“You know you can’t get too attached to those things Alex,” he warned, oddly serious. “They’re going away soon, to farmers and trainers. And plus, girls can’t…have Pokemon.” Alexandria glared at him, causing him to mumble the last few words. “I know, I know…you don’t care. You’re going to get in trouble, eventually.” ]

This is just illustrating how little sense this makes. Pokemon are are needed for basic life tasks. You just said a few lines back that they’re keeping bird pokemon in a coop for eggs. They’re also all over the wild and yet surprisingly easy to tame. You can’t meaningfully ban women from having them.

[As the social law stood, girls and women were not suitable for owning Pokemon. Women were dainty, elegant, composed, and proper – meant to raise children and keep houses.]

Particularly when this is supposedly medieval times. Keeping house back then involved a hell of a lot of muscle.

You seem to be picturing Victorian times here, and this isn’t even particularly accurate to that.

If you want shitty sexism, you could go with reasonable shitty sexism and just say girls don’t get to officially have any part in pokemon battles. If you want to hammer in that it really sucks, actual English law for hundreds of years was women couldn’t own anything at all, but in the sense everything was their husband’s and not that they’d get in trouble for having it.

Two.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11736896/1/Inner-Storms

[Will she become a trainer worth remembering, or be just a girl that didn’t have what it takes? ]

Considering she never managed to walk out the door and have a journey for the previous six years, she pretty obviously doesn’t have what it takes.

The world really didn’t need yet another kid in the moving van opening. It’s been done.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11736910/1/Quest-for-Regigigas

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

This is way too short for your first chapter. You’re supposed to have things actually happen in that.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11737065/1/Pokemon-Highschool

Stop capitalizing random words.

[the girls light pink hair]

Apostrophes for possessives.

Writing the legendaries as sugar-high idiot humans wasn’t funny the first time, I don’t know why you thought the thousandth attempt would go better.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

Zero.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11737079/1/Pokemon-Ascending-Darkness

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

One.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11737187/1/Obsession

Semicolons should only ever be used when connecting two complete sentences and even then almost never.

[ viridian forest ]
[The Pokémon  ]

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as “Hello,” she said or “Hello!” she said, never “Hello.” She said or “Hello.” she said or “Hello,” She said or “Hello” she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb, which is a verb describing how the dialogue is said. (“Speak” is not a speech verb.) In that case it’s written as “Hello.” She grinned, never “Hello,” she grinned or “Hello,” She grinned or “Hello.” she grinned. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s “Hi,” she said. “This is it.” not “Hi,” she said, “this is it.” or “Hi,” she said “this is it.” And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s “Hi. This,” she said, “is it.” The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks or any other ones with thoughts.

It’s “okay”, four letters.

[His arms and legs…
Were gone.
They were gone.
What was left of them were tiny stumps; which were wrapped and covered up in cloths tied tightly by thin yet strong rope.]

That wouldn’t have been survivable. I assume you want her to be literally ax-crazy, but lopping off the ends of his limbs would still be pretty horrifying but make it a little easier to believe she could patch him up afterward before he bled to death. And if she actually had the medical knowledge to keep him alive for this, she should know all she has to do to make his legs useless is hamstring him.

Blocked! What a good point to end on. I am now on the bottom of page two, go me?

Three reviews.