1/20-1/22

Chant of the Carapaces (N/A)

Poetry.

Of Moonlit Dreams (Doze (Snowman))

Already reviewed – so my FFN jaunt pays off!

The Clocks Were Asleep (Aradiacester (Signless))

Mostly, what she remembered was her room.

She’d measured it over and over again in manic fits of boredom. It seemed at first to be a perfect cube, ten paces squared, but she’d realized eventually that the measurements subtly shifted. She’d assumed at first that he was doing it on purpose, a sly jab at her helplessness. It was only when he first forgot her for a few decades that she realized the truth: he simply did not care enough to keep it consistent.

You’re great at finding new angles for horror in an already awful setup.

And the idea of her still being in her room unaware makes so much sense – it’s true, what else would she remember?

Candy Corn Liquor (DD (HB, SS, CD, MOC, Snowman, PI))

May contain hints of headcannon. This is most noticeable in the fact that the entire Meddlesome Company is female.

That just makes it a genderswapped AU. Headcanon is for stuff that’s an expansion of empty areas of canon, when you’re deliberately changing something, it’s an AU.

You know that he was working with or for another party on the first attempt, but you do not know who.

This is what confuses me about the fact DD then decides to shoot the guy – if there’s someone else to blame for what happened to CD, wouldn’t that ensure she never finds the other guilty party? If she thought it was just revenge for getting the guy’s prior business shut down, it would make a lot more sense to decide to just shoot him.

But he left behind a present: a small, bow-bedecked evidence bag containing a bottle of candy corn liqueur, previously opened.

And – does “evidence bag” mean the police actually did find it and were hiding it/corrupt enough to lose it? Or did he go get one just to put the bottle in before giving it to her?

Anyway, overall a nice ficlet. My biggest problem is just that it feels incomplete – I’d like to know how it all resolves.

You know one of the weird things you notice with genderswapped AUs? The stuff that doesn’t change. Here, the OC remains the standard male one and for some reason the PS crew have stayed male. No one ever seems to do a genderswap where the whole universe inverts and suddenly it’s a 90% female cast.

On a less broad level, it’s unsettling that genderswaps feel like they go hand in hand with them being nicer/weaker versions. This is a fic where DD’s an ultracompetent sniper…but it’s also one that ends with PI popping in to be the mysterious one with all the cards.

Stabs (SS, DD (MOC))

Hm. I like the beat of this. It’s Slick flailing around being stabby and terrible, then suddenly

Droog calmly folded his newspaper and leisurely stood up. He smiled politely at the man on the floor.

“Allow me to introduce myself…”

and it’s just straight terrifying.

And apparently I missed the preceding story:

Fisticuffs (DD (SS, MOC))

It’s after a few more rounds before the informer is convinced in the veracity of his testimony

This is really, really weirdly worded. After/before don’t work well together, and it seems like it should be that the informer is convincing about his testimony.

But regardless, it’s a nice snippet of Droog.

I Wanted Freedom, Bound and Restricted (Dave (Aradiacester))

An intriguing pairing.

Hypnotize (PI (PS, AD, SS))

The thing about being one of less than a dozen human beings in a city of aliens

Huh. I think this is the first fic to have them stay humans without making the rest of the Intermission cast the same. It actually seems pretty interesting here, so I wish there was more of it.

Anyway, I really love how you’re writing all of them – PI being rambling and awkward without stuttering to the point he’s barely readable, PS being an overconfident dick, and Ace Dick looking for the broads.

“We’re friends, right?” He gets a nod from PI. “And sometimes being friends means there’s benefits, right? Like you being the kind of friend who buys dinner for one of his other friends.”

Also, this is such hilarious resolution to possibly accidentally hypnotizing someone into having sex with you.

Stakes (SS (PI, DD))

Scout was small, and though he thrashed and kicked and bit, he couldn’t overcome the three thugs who caught him spying in their warehouse.

I really don’t see why an alt version of Slick would become a comparative pushover. Not that he’s unbeatable, but being outnumbered a bit shouldn’t be treated like an automatic win, and certainly not without him apparently even harming one. Plus, being generally able to take care of himself in a fight means it makes more sense he’d keep trying to fight back instead of being afraid.

If he’d gotten shot when they noticed him trying to flee and so he was already injured when they got the jump on him this would make a lot more sense. Or just saying there were a lot more than three if you want to keep it to them just jumping him.

But anyway. PI and the shadow magic was quite creepy, and I like that Scout’s unappreciative, freaked out, and then heads back to find the bodies and try to convict him.

Stockholm Christmas (DD (PI))

Tonight, though, he sat down in his usual chair and something sharp that pierced the skin under his thigh taught him that rituals could be dangerous. It was too long to be a thumb tack, he noted, before he lost consciousness, and too thin to be a nail. A needle, undoubtedly.

I’m not sure this would work. People don’t necessarily sit perfectly straight down and might jerk to the side, so anything long and thin could probably break in the process. If it were just thin, I’d assume the actual pointy bit was short to avoid this problem, but length is an issue.

“W-We stopped c-celebrating wh-when I was y-young.”
“Why is that?”
Innovator lifted his head and gave him a quizzical look, as if the answer should be obvious. “B-Because of m-me,” he said. “Th-they t-told me that I k-killed th-their s-spirit when I a-asked.”
Even Deadeye couldn’t taunt him about that. He’d already figured that a lot of Innovator’s issues lied with poor upbringing, and yet, the actual recount of it struck the man speechless.

Maybe because it’s so over the top it’s impossible to take seriously. You were doing well enough with PI being sad and lonely, and then suddenly this ridiculous attempt to win the alltime fanfic sad-off.

Just being upset because he’s all alone currently? Sure. Parents not believing in holidays or much affection? Okay. Parents dying and a miserable orphan life? Okay. Parents telling him he’s the worst thing ever? Way, way too much.

Well, DD seems IC enough. It’s nice to see him being detached rather than loving.

This is what a death of concrit gets you. How on earth could no one before me point out that baby PI being told he makes his parents not want to celebrate Christmas was maaaaybe a trifle on the side of glurge? Is this what you people want out of your fanfics?

Dreaming (PI, DD)

He couldn’t crawl into Deadeye’s bed with him, never would be able to just hold onto him, but to sit near him without repercussion and try to soak up some of his perfection was almost as good.

This is an interesting look at PI. He’s so very messed up here, but it makes sense as a whole.

By the way, does anyone know why the flipped verse ended up with DD and PI in charge of their respective gangs? I can’t figure out if there was some sort of intended reason, or if it’s just one some weird extension of the seme/uke dynamics this whole area’s drowning in.

Doze (Snowman)
Aradiacester (Signless)
DD (HB, SS, CD, MOC, Snowman, PI)
SS, DD (MOC)
DD (SS, MOC)
Dave (Aradiacester)
PI (PS, AD, SS)
SS (PI, DD)
DD (PI)
PI, DD

One and a half out of ten.

Page 373 And so my inevitable slide backward resumes.