3/16-3/22
Pallbearer (Dirk (Jake))
Hm. I like the details of Prospit and your Dirk voice is engaging, but Dirk being broken up about a death that isn’t really a death felt unconvincing. I could see him being more ruffled than usual by seeing his friend’s dead body, and perhaps particularly uncomfortable with the reminder that they’re all mortal, things are spinning out of his control, and Jake could be killed completely soon. But I can’t see him sobbing over a dreamself and treating this like the real death of a friend.
Clear Blue Skies (WV)
I like all the detail of this, and the hovering concern of fire, you did a good job of expanding the scene.
Awakening (Dirk)
Pretty much the same.
The Bargain Ch1 (Karkat (Everyone))
This all seems very OOC, and what characterization there is is extremely rushed and exaggerated.
All the darkest violets (DD (HB, Dirk, Jack, CD, OCs))
The Dignitary is great in this in this, you balance how upset he is with how he wouldn’t want to show any of that well, and I like that he isn’t even certain why he cares so much.
Lost Grub (Boxcars (Tavros))
Good god has this AU overstayed its welcome.
Your Move (Vetinari (Condesce))
Vetinari is quite engaging here and I like the bits about how Ankh-Morpork itself is functioning with the newcomers.
And most times, if they do step over it, they live to learn. Enough examples are made and clearly enough that eventually they make their own fences. Walls defining your laws, made of your laws, by the ones they apply to. Every single one of my Legislacerators are absolutely rabid to get leave here to study you and your legal system.
This, though, I find really weird. It’s definitely the sort of observation that fits into the Discworld books, and certainly something people might compliment Vetinari about. But I can’t see the way troll society is run under the Condesce as a matter of just not knowing that there’s other ways to deal with things. She seems to have very decidedly chosen culling for trivial or arbitrary reasons – among other things there’s the bit with crazy clown cultists who kill people who report to them if they’re not funny enough being put in charge of the legal system. I can’t see any of them being surprised that it’s possible to run a system less viciously, let alone her seeing it as anything admirable.
Speaking of AUs, I really don’t get where the idea the Ankh-Morpork caste are particularly Homestuck compatible.
All Is Silent (Psiioniic (The Condesce, Signless, Disciple))
Love how understatedly terrible all this is.
Black Russian (Slick (Roxy, Droog, Deuce))
I’m not really sure what Roxy’s doing in the fic, she’s given very little focus and serves mostly to make the setting pretty confusing – it’s the town he built, and there’s Felt because he’s hating billiards, but humans are standard inhabitants as well, and Roxy’s one of them? It’s just really weird to have such an off the wall pairing and then have it be almost a side note in the story itself.
I do quite like how you’re written Slick as bitter, amoral, and obsessed while trying to pretend he isn’t, and also the familiarity he has with his crew.
I’d forgotten how nice it is when authors act as if Snowman is important in Slick’s life.
Dirk (Jake)
WV
Dirk
Karkat (Everyone)
DD (HB, Dirk, Jack, CD, OCs)
Boxcars (Tavros)
Vetinari (Condesce)
Psiioniic (The Condesce, Signless, Disciple)
Slick (Roxy, Droog)
Zero, really? Zero of eight.