Twelve Forever is a cartoon about a girl who wants to be, you guessed it, twelve forever. This desire manifests through the ability to transport herself to an alternate dimension, the aptly-named Endless. In this world, she is granted the powers of a superhero and is able to play and indulge her childish fantasies to her heart’s content; however, on her twelfth birthday, Endless becomes haunted by the Buttwitch, a demon representing her fears of puberty and adulthood who seeks to destroy her and her paradise.
Unsurprisingly, like most of the story-based cartoons we get these days, this is a coming-of-age story about the fear of growing up. I therefore did not expect much of it, as I always feel a disconnect with the genre. I am an adult who has already come of age, and many of the typical coming-of-age stories hold little to no relation to my own experience, with many of them being uncomfortably normative in their push of heterosexual and neurotypical life experiences. (Can we please stop having stories about extremely flirtatious tweens finding their soulmates at age 12, it’s deeply creepy.) I can enjoy them as a narrative and even as a good message for kids, but I often feel at a very far remove on a personal level.
That was not the case in this show. The characters all felt devastatingly real and relatable to my own childhood and life outlooks.
There will be some vague spoilers here, so you should probably watch it yourself. It’s only one season because it was tragically canceled, but I think it still holds up well as a complete product.
We’re going to talk about Todd.
I don’t like to talk about my childhood, but suffice to say I wanted nothing more than to grow up faster. I can never relate to narratives about kids who want to stay children forever; to me, the powerlessness of childhood was stifling. I could not drive, I could not buy things, I had little to no say over anything in my life even down to things as minor as the choice of dinner. When I was very young, I could not even read. I was totally dependent on the adults around me, what little freedom and power I had completely by their whim. Why would anyone want to stay like that forever?
Yet this perspective in coming-of-age stories is practically nonexistent. They always seem to have an adversarial tone to them, with the loss of innocence/move to adulthood is portrayed as a difficult transition that a child must surely fear. In the rare cases they try to embrace it, it is portrayed as a character flaw and an unhealthy outlook. (I think Dipper in Gravity Falls might be the closest I’ve seen to a proper example, but I did get the feeling he fell into the latter trope at the end.)
So imagine my surprise when this show gifted us Todd, a kid who has no fear of growing up and for whom this is portrayed as a virtue, not a flaw. Consistently throughout the series, he is the most mature and responsible of the kids, and is not only unafraid of growing up but actively excited by it. On a rewatch I was struck by how early this is established: In the very first episode, when Mack and Beefhouse ask if they’ve “made the drive to Sedona”, Reggie only says that they can’t drive; it’s Todd who makes the connection to “We’re children.” In the very next episode, he actively enjoys learning about the puberty books. In the third episode, he is the one who is secure in his relationship to Endless and doesn’t fear the addition of a new element. He has a good relationship with his older sibling and does not mind the responsibility of caring for his younger ones; he has a healthy and drama-free romantic relationship in stark contrast to Reggie’s disaster of a crush; and he actively pursues the responsibility and hard work of being in a band over the empty pleasures of Endless.
It’s all this that makes Todd a really unique and compelling character to me. He’s a child who wants to grow up, and the narrative doesn’t portray that as shameful or weird.
It’s the person trying to hold Todd back from growing up that causes conflict in his life, not the maturity itself. Because here’s the other thing that impressed me: The story does not limit itself to a purely metaphorical or allegorical conflict. The Buttwitch is actually a very withdrawn and passive villain, only directly attacking the protagonists in her introduction and the finale. The real conflict is between Reggie and Todd as their lives lead them down different paths, showing the difficulties of coming-of-age in a very real way. Todd wants to change and progress with his life while Reggie wants everything to stay the same forever, and to accomplish that she can’t let Todd change either. It’s really heartbreaking, but also inevitably tragic, to watch their friendship slowly deteriorate over this. When Todd is first introduced, he is the perfect friend, always helping, supporting, and agreeing with everything Reggie does. But the story goes on to show that no one can truly be that perfect or strong, and that subsuming your own wants for other peoples’ like that will destroy you. He tries so hard to be the bigger person, to be the supportive friend Reggie needs, but Reggie just keeps demanding more and more of him until he has nothing left to give but poison. Which was, uh, relatable.
But I love the other characters, too. Apparently a lot of people dislike Reggie and find her too annoying, but I liked her even though she is in many ways the true villain of the piece. I think the key is that her annoying traits are not narratively endorsed — we are shown, often quite brutally, the consequences of her childishness, and she suffers just as much if not more than she inflicts. Though she can be quite cruel and selfish, we are also shown how she is genuinely hurting and why she’s driven to such poor and desperate decisions. Honestly, that’s really all it takes to make “annoying” or “problematic” characters sympathetic to me. I can’t completely fault her for her actions, and instead I’m driven to feel sympathy for her as a flawed and hurting person.
I also loved Esther, even though she didn’t have as much of a presence or impact on the plot — perhaps precisely because she didn’t. She is really painfully relatable in how desperate she is for approval and fearful of rejection, to the point she’s repeatedly willing to compromise her wants and sense of self to fit in. I particularly love how knowledgeable and socially conscious she is — she actually says the word “heteronormative”! In a kids’ cartoon!!! I’m so proud of the writers not only for managing to get that in there, but for showing that kids can and do care about big issues even from such an early age. (And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that it’s the black girl who’s politically conscious — the show never explicitly brings up racism, homophobia, or sexism, but you can look at the identities of the kids and their behaviors and very easily connect the two yourself.) But even that feels like an act of desperation on her part, that she can substitute social skill for showing off knowledge and that will make her valued and respected by her peers when nothing else will. Maybe that’s just projection because that’s also extremely #relatable for me, but I think it’s a very valid read of her. Todd is who I wished I could be when I was 12, but Esther is much closer to who I actually was.
The setting, too, is intriguing in the best way. Endless isn’t a straightforward paradise — it is deeply, deeply bizarre, and clearly operates on rules that are not always in the kids’ best interests. It provides a great medium for standard wacky cartoon adventures, but it feels deeper because there is always a sense that everything is part of something bigger. Why does Endless warp reality in this way? Where did the inhabitants come from, and what do they do when they’re not interacting with the kids? (I was also pleased to learn that Reggie and Todd were initially freaked out on their first trips to Endless — I took their casualness towards the weirdness in the first episode in stride, but it was a nice bit of realism to discover they originally had the same reaction anyone sensible would have.) There is clearly more going on under the surface, even beyond the meaty reveals we got in this season. It feels a lot like a reverse Silent Hill — an eldritch location that tries to please people instead of horrify them, but with just as warped an understanding of the human psyche.
Everything about this show feels incredibly, painfully real, and the kids portray an actual diversity of personalities, philosophies, and life experiences in a way I’ve rarely if ever seen in coming-of-age stories. The adults, too, are their own people who interact meaningfully with the kids, and I think that’s an important part of coming-of-age stories too. In order for a kid to transition to an adult, they have to understand adults and see them as people, to see that as a world they can enter and not something hopelessly alien. Dustin was also an amusing and realistic portrayal of teenage boys — a stereotype, but not an inaccurate one. We can clearly see how in trying to distance himself from “childish” desires he has only become more childish, and that he regains his humanity when he remembers and reconnects with the things he loves. Adulthood is only scary if you think you have to give up everything you love and enjoy from your childhood, but the show demonstrates again and again through Todd and the adult characters that that doesn’t have to be true. Your life is what you make of it.
Now if only there could be a story like this with an aroace kid, I’d really be represented. (The show is very good on queer themes, by the way — Reggie, the protagonist, is gay, Todd is implied to be bi, and there is an adult gay couple among the recurring cast.)
I’m not familiar with the genre, but after you recommended Twelve Forever on tumblr I gave it a whirl. I both really liked and was extremely terrified of how the whole growing up theme of Reggie’s arc was going to go. Reggie’s fear of growing up felt very trans-narrativey to me, especially with the focus on how bodies change such as with the Buttwitch and ‘How inside every little girl is a woman waiting to bloom’ or whatever that quote was. In the end, I still wasn’t sure which way it’d go (and sadly will probably never know because cancelled) but I’m hopeful…
Other than the trans stuff though, I don’t think I personally can relate to the meat of the narrative. Running away has been very literal for me, and imagination is a luxury you need to sacrifice to get what you need in real life. Honestly, the most relatable character for me was the one throwaway character that steals Reggie’s earrings and has an insane mother. >.>
I really liked the second to last episode where the fight about this happens. I get it’s pretty unlikely in a children’s show, but I would be happy if the last episode wasn’t about them making up out of necessity.
Hah, yeah, that was pretty inevitable. It’s possible they were planning to go darker if they got more seasons, though; I can only imagine Todd drifting further apart from Reggie as time progresses.
I didn’t really see a trans narrative in the puberty stuff — Reggie says she’s fine just the way she is, which doesn’t fit with her having dysphoria. It seems more the typical narrative about puberty being scary.
Yeah, but that’s before going through puberty! Reggie’s fine with the way she is now but expects to change into a body she’ll hate and everyone around her says it’ll be inevitable.
Though, I have no idea what a typical scary puberty narrative is like so I dunno. I think I agree with you generally about not expecting much, because damn would I be soulfully disappointed when Reggie learns to embrace womanhood or whatever happens.
Any major change to your body is scary, even if you’re not trans. But it was my understanding that gender dysphoria started before puberty.
Sort of… the things I can think of at the top of my head are Reggie dressing in a jacket to prom, Reggie being called Twelve in Endless, Reggie being nicknamed Reggie instead of Regina.
And I think that Reggie might not even know how to talk about it since the way she deals with problems is receding deeper into herself. Which is pretty translatable to receding from anything related to trans so it doesn’t show up in obvious ways. There was a bit of the first episode about the inevitability of puberty (which is literally untrue) that makes me think her parents wouldn’t even consider transness a possibility, which would make the repression worse.
I haven’t seen the series, but it really just seems like she’s just a tomboy. Wearing a jacket to prom doesn’t mean anything.
Yeah, I’m interpreting these traits the way I intrepreted them for my own life. I don’t mean to say that these traits necessarily mean Reggie is trans or enby or that they are inherently male traits, but that they’re the same things I had thoughts on and that lead me to my identity and so I’m reminded of them in Reggie. So I guess it’s sort of projecting? It’s not about whether the traits actually are gendered or not, or whether gendering traits is fake (it is), it’s about how the people interacting with them perceive them. Gender essentialism bad.
But the tomboy comment in particular irks me because yeah of course there are women who do people things, but there are also trans men who present specifically like this because it’s the only thing you can do amidst repression, and in real life, regarding real people, it’s much more common for people to go oh a trans man? that’s a tomboy/butch lesbian/confused, rather than the other way around.
Yeah, I linked that collection of stories in response to St. Elmo’s Fire saying that dysphoria always starts before puberty, but that might’ve been unclear…
You said it yourself: So I guess it’s sort of projecting?
Reggie says she’s fine just the way she is, which doesn’t fit with her having dysphoria. It seems more the typical narrative about puberty being scary.
FWIW Indiscretion’s earlier observation was my trans experience before I found out that agender was an option– I was okay performing the gender of “girl” but “woman” was scary and not right.
Unsurprisingly, like most of the story-based cartoons we get these days, this is a coming-of-age story about the fear of growing up.
I can’t help but wonder why this is so unsurprising nowadays. I also can’t help but say incredibly negative things about the particular sort of people who are making these shows in the process.
many of the typical coming-of-age stories hold little to no relation to my own experience
Same, but probably for the exact opposite reasons. All I remember experiencing was suddenly having a beard one day. If anything, I didn’t have enough of a coming-of-age story. I didn’t fear growing up, but I also wasn’t excited by it or anything like that. I had the typical thoughts worrying about my future after school in high school, because you need a job to make money to eat, but I kinda just took the lumps of puberty.
Todd wants to change and progress with his life while Reggie wants everything to stay the same forever, and to accomplish that she can’t let Todd change either.
Since you mentioned Gravity Falls, this was by far the most infuriating part of the incredibly annoying character of his sister whose name I can’t remember since I didn’t like Gravity Falls. She started out stifling even his most childish wonder and excitement, and was absolutely horrible when her brother found a way to turn that into a real adult livelihood.
Apparently a lot of people dislike Reggie and find her too annoying, but I liked her even though she is in many ways the true villain of the piece. I think the key is that her annoying traits are not narratively endorsed
See above.
I particularly love how knowledgeable and socially conscious she is — she actually says the word “heteronormative”! […] But even that feels like an act of desperation on her part, that she can substitute social skill for showing off knowledge and that will make her valued and respected by her peers when nothing else will.
… Hm… I’m not so sure about this. Typically, in situations like this (probably even yours included), the knowledge someone who does this will show off is knowledge that’s either valuable to their peers in some way (like, say, knowing how to kiss, or at least thinking they do because they read an article somewhere) or (at this age) conveys some kind of adult-ness (like scientific and technological concepts above their age). This may just be your “an adult who has already come of age” colouring how you remember this.
Adulthood is only scary if you think you have to give up everything you love and enjoy from your childhood
This was a really weird one for me. Not only did I start getting into tokusatsu in high school, but that’s also when my dad inherited his own father’s massive collection of model trains. My period of rejecting the things I loved from childhood was incredibly tiny. Maybe that has something to do with what I said above.
Now if only there could be a story like this with an aroace kid, I’d really be represented.
… It sounds like you already were, though?
how dare you Mabel is perfect and Dipper is a mean dumb-dumb who doesn’t deserve her
In some regards, but not perfectly. Being aroace was pretty much the one bit of “coming of age” I actually struggled with, due to the pressure of amatanormativity. This narrative is unfortunately still quite amatanormative; Todd’s healthy romantic relationship is shown as proof of his maturity, Reggie’s poor handling of her crush is shown as evidence of her childishness, and Esther wants a romantic relationship and talks a lot about pursuing one. That’s reinforcing the idea that romance is a necessary part of “growing up”, which is bad for aromantics. I’d like to see a coming-of-age narrative that grapples with that conflation and being considered childish, weird, or broken for not pursuing romance.
Dipper is a mean dumb-dumb who doesn’t deserve her
I agree. Dipper didn’t do anything to deserve her.
Todd’s healthy romantic relationship is shown as proof of his maturity, Reggie’s poor handling of her crush is shown as evidence of her childishness
… Well, they are?
But, hey, what do I know? The one part of being asexual and almost definitely aromantic is having to explain why I hate the term “ace” and legitimately, actually, literally often physically cringe at the idea of even mentioning that, let alone explaining why I do. So I guess I just had an easier time of it.
Oh they absolutely are, and I’m glad we get to see a young het relationship that’s actually healthy and mature for once. But I would like some acknowledgement that you don’t have to start dating at 13, either.
Oh hey, I remember Twelve Forever! I didn’t make it beyond the first episode, not because I didn’t like it, but because I ended up liking my assumptions about what the show was going to be about more than the actual show (that happens a lot, but it never means the show was bad. I’m well aware the majority of entertainment isn’t going to cater to the absolute best case scenarios for me, and I seem to have different preferences than the “norm”). I’d misunderstood and thought Reggie was going to run away to live in the Endless and say “screw aging” entirely, which… maybe she wouldn’t have exactly been the protagonist in a story like that, but I was looking forward to a show fully allowing their protagonist to dodge growing up – and showing why someone might want to grow up, if they were actually able to choose not to.
I’m glad the show worked for you, though! From what you said, it sounds like it did manage to do what it was trying to do well, and that’s good.
…Mhmhm. Without getting into spoilers, I think you should give it a second shot. This is addressed.
I mean, I’ve never minded spoilers and I do recall something about Reggie running off to the Endless to live there, but that’s not exactly the same thing as I meant (which is on me, I was being vague). Also, watching the first episode ended up making me uncomfortable in ways that had nothing to do with Reggie sticking around in the “real” world for a while, which I also didn’t mention because that’s not on this show! As I mentioned I have some different preferences, and some things that are common in children’s shows (and a lot of children’s and adult’s comedy) make me viscerally uncomfortable, but that’s not on the show and I didn’t want to go on too much of a tangent on your post.
Thank you for the recommendation, though, and my apologies for being unclear!
Personally, I mind the art style of this series far more than I do spoilers. Something about it just rubs me the wrong way.
Haha aw, I found it a little weird at first but I grew to like the blocky cut-out style.
Since this is posted on this blog and there’s an Umineko post not too far down, I immediately thought of Higurashi. The protagonist could be twelve forever! And have nothing ever change! It just comes at the cost of dying at roughly the same time and possibly seeing all your friends go insane and kill each other.
Why would anyone want to stay like that forever?
My guess is that children usually don’t realise exactly how little agency they have over their own lives, and so the people who miss childhood don’t really remember feeling trapped, stifled, or powerless, they only remember feeling protected and cared for and not having to deal with the anxieties of living in a socioeconomic system in which our lives hold no value unless we provide labour force and in which we’re not owners of our own labour force.
…Anyway, they may not be exactly what you’re looking for, but if you’re still interested in stories about growing up, I’d recommend Gaiman’s The Graveyard Book* and Odd and the Frost Giants. Odd, in particular, is my favourite Gaiman story by a fair amount – and yes, I’m including Good Omens in the comparison!
* Come to think of it, I’d recommend Kipling’s The Jungle Book, too. Not necessarily as a story about growing up, although there is that, but just because it’s a damn fine story, Kipling’s pro-imperialism views notwithstanding.