So! Persona 5. My expectations are at rock bottom after the atrocious slop that was Persona 4, but from what I can tell the general fandom opinion is that this one is at least interestingly bad. Crossing my fingers that means there will be something worth suffering through “Haha sexual harassment is funny!” this time. (I am still, of course, expecting a baseline level of funny sexual harassment; I’m keeping my expectations realistic, here.)

…Aaand the opening movie immediately flashes us with sexy catgirl butt. Off to a great start.

The “this is a work of fiction” disclaimer is now voiced and specifies that similarities to events in “your” world are coincidental. Is this supposed to be a diegetic fourth-wall break? Why?

This is a work of fiction. Similarities between characters or events to persons living or dead in your world are purely coincidental. Only those who have agreed to the above have the privilege of partaking in this game.

What? I have to agree that this is a work of fiction? Is Atlus saying if I play their game I can’t sue them for this? Just, what??? Interestingly, there is an actual message if you decline:

Everything that happens from here on is real… Is that your cognition of this? …Then unfortunately, I cannot allow you to partake of this game.

And we’re kicked back to the title screen. Oookay. I assume that this is some sort of meta thing that will make sense later. Or it may never make sense.

If I agree:

…The contract has been sealed.

The world is not as it should be. It’s filled with distortion, and “ruin” can no longer be avoided. Those who oppose fate and desire change… From time to time, they were referred to as Tricksters. You are the Trickster… Now is the time to rise against the abyss of distortion.

Hm.

Reading this, I’m struck by how easily the same statement can be read as either radical or fascist. I agree that the world has problems we should oppose… but the idea the world is being “distorted” from its true, pure state is a fascistic idea. It all depends on what this statement considers “distortion” and “ruin”. It probably just means spooky demon men being spooky, but we’ll see.

We open in medias res dressed as a sneak-thief pulling off a heist from a casino.

For some reason we alert everyone to our presence by stopping to pose dramatically.

We also leave a trail of paint when we move, which seems counterproductive for a sneak-thief. I’ve heard a lot of praise for the game’s art design, but personally I find this scene a tad overwhelming. We don’t need a fancy particle effect every time we take a step, this isn’t Okami.

I discover this game has contextual button prompts allowing me to jump over gaps and obstacles, which, okay. I guess that’ll allow for some more diverse area designs. Mission Control chimes in to say, “Showing yourself above that crowd earlier was an excellent move.” Are they being sarcastic? They don’t sound sarcastic. So that was intentional? One of the spoilers I’ve heard is that this game does actually lean into persona powers being based on perception, so it’s possible that cashing in on their reputation with a public appearance provides a power boost.

Mission Control calls each other by codenames (I’m “Joker”), but despite most of them being English words, one of them is “Inari”. Why. Either translate words or don’t, Atlus.

The security guards transform into these weird masked things, then Joker rips off a mask and one turns into a demon. So… did we just kill someone, or were they never human to begin with?

Yeah, sorry guys, this is not better than standard menu interfaces. The janky font and perspective distortion effect looks cool as a one-time thing, not as crucial gameplay info you need to read at a glance. And since every command has the exact same extremely minimalist color scheme, the whole thing visually blends together. Couldn’t even spring for color-coding like Super Mario RPG? I will say I do like the expediency of mapping each command to a single button, but this was not the best way to convey it visually.

And ugh, I hate that heart-shaped health meter. Health meters fail to do their job if you can’t easily gauge their proportions at a glance. Is HP proportional to the area of the heart, so the meter drains slower as we get to the center part, or is it linear like a regular health meter? The latter is better, but it’s still so narrow that it’s hard to notice or gauge small changes. Please stop trying to make quirky meter shapes, gamedevs.

But hey, we have guns! It seems like you can fire up to your entire clip in one round, allowing you to control how much damage you do vs. how many resources you want to save. I’m sure there will be a proper explanation for this later.

More possibly-demonic security guards appear, but Joker escapes by jumping multiple times his height. Is that also an in-universe superpower, or just anime?

The back rooms are covered in weird… sticky-note graffiti? I can make out “Success”, “Black and White”, “Winner take all”, “Victory addiction”, and “Everyone’s Enemy”.

I also troll some guards who are apparently too dumb to notice me despite the bottom row of the gate clearly being see-through.

However, despite being smart enough to crouch under that gate, Joker is too stupid to crouch under this window. You already coded the crouching mechanic, devs, why didn’t you put it here?

Then we suddenly have a stealth mission.

Mission Control: You’ll never get away if you keep fighting!

I think my stats will be the judge of that.

The stealth mission is impossible to fail because we are capable of instantly teleporting between hiding spots, so it’s just a linear series of button prompts. I hope this will be an actual mechanic later.

Then this idiot runs right past me because security guards can’t remember to look around corners. I bypass the next guard by grappling onto the upper catwalk in a very showy arc that everyone should have noticed.

Joker is then ambushed by more masked guards, but is saved by a sexy girl who doesn’t understand how to protect her femoral arteries:

Yes, she does fight by cartwheeling and yes, the scene features several shots focusing on her very stabbable thighs. Sexy Girl talks as if she knows us, but says she won’t “interfere” with our work because she’s not a member of our gang.

Joker is once again too stupid to duck under windows, but fortunately everyone else is too stupid to turn around so it works out. The security guards are also too stupid to shoot him while he runs in a straight line and jumps from the second floor out of a stained glass window, so he’s also immune to broken glass and falling damage. But oh no, the police were waiting for him! Despite the fact that anyone could have called the police given we’ve been running from security this whole time, the police say his teammate sold him out and he believes this.

They’re also too stupid to clean up used sharps after drugging prisoners with them. Don’t piss off your garbage crew, idiots! After some police brutality, we’re told that our worst crime is apparently manslaughter. Not murder? This is also the point where we select difficulty, which seems a bit of a strange placement. I pick normal mode, since in my experience hard mode in RPGs just means you need to heal more often. The police then force Joker to sign a confession, which is the prompt to input our name — I will admit, that is a lot more interesting than the usual. I’m bad at coming up with names, so let’s steal someone else’s. Given “Joker”, the fact we appear to have a Catwoman, and the clear comic book aesthetic…

A Japanese superhero name would be more appropriate, but I don’t know any.

We’re then introduced to a new character. She demands to interrogate Damien because she’s apparently been working on the case against us. For some reason the police are dicks to the prosecutor, but they eventually let her through. Niijima apparently knows Damien, but her case has been stalled because she can’t find evidence for our supernatural methods.

Niijima: How is it even possible to steal another’s heart?

You mean, like, literally? Is that how we committed manslaughter?

Now, tell me your account of everything. …Start from the very beginning.

I assumed this would be our segueway out of in medias res, but for some reason it’s immediately followed by a second, unrelated segueway where Igor’s butterfly implies we are literally time traveling.

Mysterious Voice: A prisoner of fate to a future that has been sealed off in advance. This is truly an unjust game… Your chances of winning are almost none. But if my voice is reaching you, there may yet be a possibility open to you… I beg you. Please overcome this game… and save the world…

Laying on the meta a little thick, Atlus.

Mysterious Voice: The key to victory lies within the memories of your bonds — the truth that you and your friends grasped.

I thought we already did truth last game? Are they just gonna repeat the last game’s theme again?

This is so weird. Why are there two separate segueways? This reads like they wrote two versions of the scene that got awkwardly stapled together by an ignorant manager at the last minute.

Then we finally flash back to the real beginning. Damien is on a train to Shibuya, because I guess Atlus wanted to make up for not setting the previous Personas in Tokyo. He flashes back to a time where he stopped a guy from raping a woman…

…but of course, just because sexual assault is wrong doesn’t mean we can’t also indulge in a focus shot of the woman’s boobs. That’s very important to the narrative, I’m sure.

Meanwhile, some girls on the train are gossiping about someone suffering a “mental shutdown”, which I assume is related to the “stealing hearts” thing.

Damien’s phone is taken over by a creepy app that stops time and shows him a vision of a Persona. Is there going to be something like the Dark Hour again? His response is to delete it and continue as if nothing happened. Damien informs us via thought bubble that a man named Sojiro Sakura is going to take care of him, but he doesn’t know the address. We can immediately talk to a police officer who will tell us where he lives no questions asked. Boy, I sure hope he doesn’t have any stalkers!

The nameplate here says “Sakura.” It looks like this might be Sojiro Sakura’s house…

Right, because it’s not like “Sakura” is a common name or anything. We ring the doorbell but nobody’s home. Fortunately, a deliveryman immediately pops up and helpfully narrates to himself that Sojiro is usually working at a cafe around this time, and reminds himself of the cafe’s exact name and location. It must be so easy to murder people here.

Sick Man: *sigh* What’ll I do? I’m feeling under the weather, but I’ve got an important meeting tomorrow… I thought I’d give this place a shot, but they said they were closed for the day…

Wow, what a crazy fantasy world this is where it’s unusual for clinics to turn you away for no reason!

NPC: Things won’t get better. That’s because politics never change.

This game was made in 2020, so well before the most successful political assassination in history, but boy did this age like fine wine.

That has to be the laziest storefront I’ve ever seen. Did it also look this basic in Japanese, or did the localizers phone this in?

Inside the cafe, we overhear the news saying there’s been a string of deadly accidents lately.

Sojiro helpfully exposits our backstory for the audience’s benefit.

Sojiro: You protected some woman from a man forcing himself on her, he got injured, then sued you. Right? That’s what you get for sticking your nose in a matter between two adults. You did injure him, yeah?

I hope you die.

This somehow got Damien a criminal record so severe he got expelled from school and had to transfer here. Sojiro informs us he’ll kick us out if we make any trouble, then leaves Damien to clean his room.

Sojiro: What the heck? I heard you making all sorts of noise up here but I didn’t think you were cleaning.

What on Earth did you think he was doing?

Tutorial: Going to bed is a special action that will advance time.

Unlike in real life.

Damien is a square and refuses to do anything but sleep. We get a full flashback to the attempted rape.

How do we know he’s drunk? He sounds pretty coherent.

We’re still doing non-choices, I see. Why. The options honestly read as one complete thought: “I can’t ignore this. I have to save her.” I can respect that there’s narrative power in making the player select the option, but given all of the choices so far have been non-choices it loses that impact. I think it would have been stronger if there was only one option but you still had to pick it as if it were a dialogue choice, to emphasize that he couldn’t countenance any other option.

Struggling Woman: I-I’ll call the police!
Drunk Man: Heh, call them if you want! The police are my bitches. They’re not gonna take you seriously.

And we’ve now hit the mundane equivalent of a spooky demon man. This isn’t evidence of an institutional problem or even something an average person could expect to run into; no, this random rapist just happens to be some uberpowerful politician who has the police in his pocket. Which I guess goes some way toward explaining how he was able to get away with such an absurd miscarriage of justice, but that was already at the far fringes of realistic plausibility.

This feels like it’s wrapping back around to normalizing the problem instead of criticizing it. Protagonist-kun is a hero for stopping this, sure, but it also ruined his life. That isn’t teaching people to intervene in real life, it’s teaching them they should keep their heads down if they don’t also want their life ruined.

The cops show up anyway, so apparently someone else called them? I’m hoping that’s plot-relevant and not a plot hole. After he’s done reminiscing, Damien gets an alert from the creepy app, which apparently survived deletion. Instead of realizing his phone’s been infected with malware, he just deletes it again and goes to sleep.

…Whereupon he wakes up in the Velvet Room, which is a prison! So they’re going Silent Hill with it this time. That’s certainly more interesting.

Igor has a very different voice actor and it’s really jarring. I like him a lot less; he talks quickly and with little inflection, which makes it sound like he just wants to get this over with. Admittedly I can sympathize, this is our fifth go-around with his pseudoscientific psychobabble nonsense, but it really detracts from the atmosphere of the scene.

Igor: You must be “rehabilitated.” Rehabilitated toward freedom… That is your only means to avoid ruin… …Do you have the resolve to challenge the distortion of the world?
Damien: …Wait, what?
Igor: You didn’t decline, hm? Very well, that is enough.

I want a lawyer.

He also introduces us to the attendants, who are completely new characters this time: Caroline and Justine.

I see we’re catering to a new set of fetishes this time. Born Sexy Yesterday wasn’t hot enough, so we’re going back to just straight-up lolis? I thought I had escaped 1000-year-old lolis after finishing Fire Emblem…

The next morning, Sojiro drives us to school.

Sojiro: Sheesh… Men aren’t usually allowed in my passenger seat.

I really hope you die.

why does the principal look like that

We’re also introduced to our teacher:

Osmosis has informed me you can date her, because of course you can.

Kawakami: But really though, why me? There should’ve been better candidates.

She says this in front of me. She then complains to her coworkers in a meanwhile scene.

Kawakami: I can’t believe they pushed someone with a record on me. A male teacher would be better suited for this…

Oh no, you got saddled with the one student who won’t rape you? Does no one know what he actually did? Even if the criminal records are sealed, there is no way that “Kid gets arrested for stopping a politican from raping someone” wasn’t headline news. How unobservant are these people?

The teachers question why he was admitted at all, which is something I also wonder. Kawakami says it was “for the school’s reputation.” I’m not clear how admitting a criminal improves your reputation?

Sojiro: It’s not like anyone will be sympathetic to you.

Not everyone is a raging misogynist, Sojiro.

It is incredibly weird that everyone’s acting like his actions would be universally considered irredeemable. Is this a Japanese thing I’m not getting? Even by their standards, this seems extreme. He didn’t even break the law — the flashback shows that he injured the guy by accident. I wonder if the writers originally had him do something worse (or at least more illegal) and it left these artifacts?

I finally get the chance to ask why Sojiro agreed to foster me in the first place.

Sojiro: I was asked to do it, and I just… happened to agree to it.

I’ll take this to mean Damien’s parents have tons of blackmail on him. He is also being paid for it, as I suspected.

The news tells us there’s been another freak accident, and this time we get to see it in a cutscene. Unsurprisingly, it’s due to supernatural wackiness — a train engineer gets possessed (?) and starts leaking black goo before locking the train at full speed. Niijima’s boss sees the news report (which obviously does not mention the supernatural element) and blames poor infrastructure. What is this trying to say? Infrastructure isn’t actually a problem, it’s all just spooky demon men? Or do infrastructure failures create spooky demon men?

This feels really scattershot. What do random accidents have to do with anything? If everyone was instead worried about crime, that would be a clear throughline with us being a criminal, and would create irony in that everyone complains about crime but won’t do anything about it, while we actually stopped a crime and got branded a criminal for it. That would be clear social commentary, instead of… infrastructure problems aren’t real? And though I don’t know what exactly it means yet, that would also fit more with the theme of “stealing hearts” — loss of humanity and emotion driving people to commit violent crime is more cromulent than going crazy and derailing trains.

This has gotten long, so I’ll cut it here. This has definitely been a more interesting prologue than previous Personas. It’s nice that the protagonist has a defined backstory now instead of being a generic everyman, and the in medias res opening is a good solution to Personas needing to spend so much time establishing the mundane elements before getting to the supernatural. Of course, the prologue is still really, really drawn-out, so I have no idea yet where the plot is going or if it’s going anywhere good.