My brother told me to play this, possibly in revenge for all the weird games I’ve made him play.
You know that fanfic that newbie barely teenage boys have, the one with the new region and new pokemon but this time it’s got ALCOHOL and SEX REFERENCES and ZANY unlike those squares at Nintendo? It’s that. Like, beat by beat. If that’s you? Well, you’ll love this.
I don’t think there’s really any review for this. Whether or not it’s a good game, or really a game at all, is kind of irrelevant. It exists and you’re either playing it or you’re not.
I’m here for my mandatory complaint about the looks.
Here’s what I saw when I started the game. It’s almost fine except for that godawful hip, but such is the price of having female characters, is it not?
Well…googling for that image also hit a bunch of images from the hype period before the game was finalized. Here’s what it used to look like:
So here’s another reminder that this doesn’t just happen – when it happens differently, marketing fixes it for you.
My computer is just barely able to run this, so let’s check it out! I have not played the demo but figured that there’d be an intolerable level of spoilers out shortly, so I might as well see the opening for myself. (more…)
So the last two days have been brutal. I did play quite a bit today, but all of that’s written on actual paper, like some sort of savage.
Instead, quick overall notes: (more…)
What mysterious creatures… Pokemon sometimes leap right out of the grass to help people in trouble, did you know?
I like the sound of that, NPC! (more…)
Prof Labsafetyfail tells me I have to go to the islands and do challenges to be the best, then starts telling me I’m special for the fact my pokemon use moves. (more…)
So, I’ve gained access to the main city area. Some person is now explaining I should say “Alola” when greeting new people.
But…I saw a ledyba in the first area when I played the first time, but haven’t since. I didn’t want to grind too long then, but now I think I’ll head back and run around for a bit. (more…)
I leave the cave and Rotom chimes in telling me that the “dreamboat” Ilima is over there. Does Rotom actually experience cross-species attraction, or is it just going on what it learned last time it possessed a TV?
Ilima: As you travel around the islands of Alola, you will find captains’ barricades here and there.
THAT’S YOU ASSHOLES?
YOU DID THAT?
I WILL BURN YOUR WORLD TO THE GROUND. (more…)
Okay, so it’s finally time for my big island-escaping fight.
I think I’ll gather some of my better pokemon, but not too good. So…
L8 grubbin
L15 yungoos
L15 popplio
L11 diglett
L15 spinarak
L15 grimer
Alright, oran berries for everybody and let’s go! (more…)
Okay, it’s finally time to leave! But first…I need to get her eyes back to normal, take off that lipstick, and go back to the original shirt. (more…)
Time to continue! I…get sucked into yet another cutscene. (more…)
Last time, I investigate splashing for no reason. Today, I continue along and Lana is now pointing me at another splashing bit and without even the argument it’s a strong pokemon – hey, maybe it’s a person, she suggests. Why the hell am I doing this. Also, why can’t I get to the other side of the pond LET ME OFF THE LEASH. (more…)
So, before Lana lets me go, she tells me about the next trial, but I’m not paying attention because it’s pretty obvious I don’t need to when the game will railroad me there regardless. The game designer’s dilemma – the harder you push the player, the more you need to push the player. (more…)
TLDR? I fritter away a lot of time on the pokemon part of these games and not the plot. (more…)
Alright, the new area’s unlocked…but how about that asshole on the stoutland, what’s he up to?
Still there. The moment Bonnibel gets true power, there will be so much blood. (more…)